


The Problem With Perfection

by satisfied_with_tranquillity



Category: Glee
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Infidelity, Klaine, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-15
Packaged: 2017-11-20 00:46:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satisfied_with_tranquillity/pseuds/satisfied_with_tranquillity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine go their separate ways after the failure of their marriage. When Kurt receives a call years later that Blaine has been in an accident, he's unsure how to react. Especially since Blaine doesn't remember they're divorced. Amnesia!Blaine</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Though this story is a future fic, I tried to keep the story as canon to the show as possible up until "The Break-Up." For the sake of this story, I am ignoring the events of that episode and everything that happened after it.

**Prologue**

It was finally happening. After years of sacrifice, Kurt’s hard work was starting to pay off. He’d been cast as the lead in a Broadway musical. The smile that had been on his face since he got the news from his agent, widened slightly as he hurried inside the apartment complex where he had a place with Blaine. He couldn’t wait to share the news with his husband.

The smile faded slightly as he entered the elevator and glanced down at the red tipped yellow roses in his hand. He and Blaine had been fighting so much lately. They’d had another one just this morning which resulted in Kurt threatening to leave Blaine and Blaine yelling that he was a selfish dick.

The constant fighting had put a lot of strain on their marriage. They had been together for a long time—ever since high school. The year after Kurt graduated McKinley to attend NYADA, Blaine had followed him to New York, attending NYU.

Kurt knew people hadn’t expected them to last. High school sweethearts—especially _gay_ high school sweethearts—usually didn’t. But they’d made it work. After they’d received their degrees, they got married despite the fact that they were only in their early twenties. Kurt waited tables at night while he auditioned during the day. Blaine turned his hobby of photography into a full time career. They’d been happy.

But over the past couple of years, Blaine had been mentioning his desire for a family with increasing frequency. Kurt wanted to wait until his career was established. The topic had caused a lot of fights. More than one night would go by with one of them sleeping on the couch instead of in each other’s arms. A wall was beginning to form between them, and Kurt was worried that if things didn’t change soon, they wouldn’t be able to reach each other anymore.

As the elevator door opened, Kurt’s stomach growled hungrily. It was late…a lot later than he had anticipated, but after getting off his shift at the restaurant (and he absolutely refused to eat the food where he worked), he’d gone on a search for the perfect roses. He and Blaine needed to sit down and have a heart to heart. Next year he would be thirty and as long as his musical was a success then maybe they could start taking steps towards adoption.

He pulled his keys out of his jacket and opened the apartment door. Soft music greeted his ears indicating Blaine was home and Kurt felt his spirits lift again. Even after all this time, knowing Blaine was nearby still filled Kurt with eager anticipation. He walked down the hallway passing the kitchen as he headed into the living room. 

The roses he held in his grasp slipped through his suddenly numb fingers as he took in the sight before him. Blaine was definitely home. He also wasn’t alone.

“Blaine,” Kurt croaked and the couple on the couch currently kissing each other like their lives depended on it broke apart guiltily.

“Kurt!” Blaine stood up, wobbling slightly before falling back on the couch. The strong scent of alcohol infiltrated Kurt’s senses, but it barely registered as his gaze shifted to the man who’d been kissing his husband. Ice cold rage slammed into Kurt as Sebastian Smythe lounged back against the couch, caution on his face as he took in Kurt’s expression.

“Kurt,” he said with a nod.

“Get out,” Kurt barely managed.

Sebastian immediately shook his head. “Blaine—”

“Get the fuck out,” Blaine said, a slight slur in his tone as he ran a shaky hand through his un-gelled curls.

Sebastian sighed as he reached out and brushed his knuckles down Blaine’s cheek. Kurt flinched even as Blaine jerked away with a curse. Sebastian stood up and strolled out of the apartment, giving Kurt wide space as he left. The quiet click of the door shutting behind him was as subtle as a gun shot, leaving nothing but deathly silence behind. Finally, Blaine cleared his throat, the noise making Kurt jump.

“Kurt, I—”

“Don’t,” Kurt responded as he walked over to the kitchen breakfast bar that overlooked the living room. There was a bottle of whiskey sitting there with two used glasses. Kurt uncapped it and took a long swig not even bothering with a glass.

“Kurt, please—”

Blaine was much closer now. Kurt could feel the heat of him against his back. Kurt hoped that his body language was enough to deter Blaine. He didn’t want his husband anywhere near him right now, but if Blaine picked up on the signals he ignored them as he placed trembling hands on Kurt’s shoulders. And just like that, Kurt cracked.

“You son of bitch!” he screamed as he whirled around, smacking Blaine hard enough across the face that Blaine’s head snapped back. He lost his balance and fell in a nearby chair. Pain ricocheted up Kurt’s arm, but he watched with detached interest as a bright red spot formed on Blaine’s now otherwise pale cheek.

He never could understand Blaine’s relationship with Sebastian. The two had kept in touch over the years despite the fact that Sebastian had almost blinded Blaine with a tainted slushy when they were in high school. It had been Sebastian’s connections in the fashion industry that had helped establish Blaine’s reputation as a photographer. Now a million thoughts were racing through Kurt’s mind about their “friendship.” None of them good. 

“How long?” he gritted out. “How long have you been fucking Sebastian behind my back?”

“Never,” Blaine whispered. “Kurt—what you saw tonight—that was the first time I ever let anything like this happen. I swear—”

Kurt let out a derisive laugh as he took another gulp from the bottle. Blaine seemed to go even paler, but he didn’t attempt to reach for Kurt again. He took a deep breath and spoke again.

“S-Sebastian’s boss requested me to photograph their spring line. We had a meeting and afterwards, Seb and I went out for drinks. I was upset about our fight earlier and I drank a little heavier than usual. Sebastian helped me home and when we got here we decided to have another round. And then…”

“And then you cheated on me,” Kurt finished when Blaine didn’t continue.

“I don’t know what happened,” Blaine muttered, barely audible. “We were just talking and then he was kissing me and I…I didn’t stop him and—”

“Spare me the details, please,” Kurt interrupted, fury making his voice shake. 

“I’m sorry,” Blaine said lamely, not meeting his eyes.

“I’m leaving,” Kurt responded, shocking them both.

Blaine stood up, dead sober at this announcement. He nodded slowly. “Okay…if you need time to cool off—”

“No,” Kurt interrupted again. “I’m leaving you. I want a divorce.”

“Kurt…no,” Blaine whispered, tears making his eyes shine. “I know I fucked up, but you can’t just throw our marriage away—you can’t throw _us_ away—”

“I’m not the one who did the throwing, Blaine,” he replied harshly, slamming the bottle of whiskey down so hard on the counter, he was surprised it didn’t shatter.

Decision made, Kurt headed for the bedroom. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a tiny voice was screaming at him to think about this rationally—to take some time to calm down before doing something he couldn’t take back. But the larger part inside him thatwas howling in pain demanded that he get the hell out of the situation as soon as possible. He went into the bedroom closest and pulled out a bag, jerking it open before stuffing some clothes inside. It was ripped out of his hands before he could add anything else.

Blaine threw the bag on the floor and grasped Kurt’s upper arm desperately, twisting him around so that they were face to face.

“Don’t,” he pleaded urgently. “Don’t do this. _Please_.”

“Let me go,” Kurt muttered, not looking at him.

“I can’t do that,” Blaine replied, his voice thick with emotion. “I can’t let you go, Kurt.”

With that promise lingering in the air between them, Blaine moved his free hand to the back of Kurt’s neck, holding him firm as he pressed their lips together. The rigid control Kurt had over his emotions broke. He sobbed against his husband’s lips as his hands formed into fists. He pounded on Blaine’s chest, back—anywhere he could reach—until Blaine let him go. Kurt didn’t stop hitting him.

“You bastard! You bastard!” he repeated until he collapsed against Blaine. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt, muttering the whole time how sorry he was. After what felt like an eternity, Kurt was back under control. He pulled away from Blaine with a sniff and reached down to the floor for his bag.

Picking it up as slowly as if he were a hundred years old, he stated, “I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon for the rest of my things. Don’t be here.”

“Just like that,” Blaine said lowly before repeating, “Just like that and we’re done. You’re not even going to fight for us?”

“I can’t even look at you right now,” Kurt replied and out of the corner of his eye he saw Blaine flinch. It filled him with grim satisfaction knowing he could hurt Blaine and then he felt horror for feeling that way. The walls of their bedroom suddenly felt like they were closing in on him. Gulping for air, he pushed Blaine out of the way and left their room, heading for the apartment exit.

“I thought we were the perfect couple,” Blaine stated lifelessly, his voice far enough away that Kurt realized he hadn’t moved from the doorway of their bedroom.

“That’s the problem with perfection,” Kurt replied, still not looking at his husband. “On the surface everything looks great, but underneath it all…it’s nothing but an empty illusion.”

And with that, Kurt left.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_Three years later_

“Ten minutes to curtain, Mr. Hummel,” the stage manager announced through the closed door of Kurt’s dressing room.

“Thanks you, ten,” Kurt called back in stage tradition, adding a little more blush to his cheeks. His cell phone went off in the bag next to his vanity and he smiled fondly. People had been sending their best wishes and “break a leg” texts all day. Tonight was the opening of his new show.

He should have been ecstatic. After his breakout performance three years ago which earned critical acclaim, the offers had poured in. Tonight’s show would be the first on Broadway he ever performed with his best friend, Rachel Berry. There was already buzz on the street that the show was Tony-worthy. And after the performance, he was attending the show’s premiere party with his boyfriend, Nelson. He’d also spoken with his dad earlier and Burt confirmed that he and Carole were coming in from D.C. this weekend to catch the show. So like Kurt said, he should have been ecstatic. And yet…as he stared at his reflection in the mirror all he could think of was…

_Empty illusion._

He scowled as he threw down his make-up brush. He had everything he ever wanted. His career was skyrocketing. He had friends and family he adored. He had Nelson. They had been dating for three months. Nelson was handsome, devoted, and if his kisses didn’t send Kurt’s heart racing—well, that was just something Kurt would have to get used to.

Yep, Kurt had it all.

So what if his heart ached with longing every time he saw a family walking together through Central Park. So what if his stomach still clenched in excitement every time he saw a guy with dark curly hair in the distance. So what if he found himself more often than not chasing said stranger in the hopes that he turned out to be—

“Dammit!” Kurt cursed as he closed his eyes wearily. What the hell was wrong with him today? Blaine was not someone he allowed himself to think about. After the divorce, he’d done his best to push his ex out of his mind.

It hadn’t been easy. Blaine hadn’t just been his husband. They had been best friends since high school. Sometimes Kurt missed their friendship so much, it took all of his willpower to not track his ex down. It would have been so easy to get Blaine back in his life.

Rachel still talked to him all the time. After Kurt had left the apartment the night he’d asked Blaine for the divorce, he’d gone to Rachel’s. She had held him in her arms all night as he’d wept out his anguish. And then the next day, she tried to force him to talk to Blaine. This went on for a month where she’d arrange for him to meet her for coffee or dinner and Blaine would be there waiting. It finally got to the point where Kurt threatened to never speak to her again if she didn’t stop interfering with his life. That didn’t stop her from talking about Blaine often.

For instance, Kurt knew that after the divorce, Blaine cut all ties with Sebastian. He got out of photographing the fashion industry and instead became a photojournalist. Whenever there was an event happening in the world—no matter how dangerous—Blaine covered it. Rachel once told Kurt with a pointed look that she thought Blaine had a death wish.

He didn’t like it, but what Blaine did after their separation was none of his business. Which was why he didn’t allow himself to think about Blaine. It was either that or worry about him all the time.

So why couldn’t he get the other man out of his head today?

Another knock on the door announced “places” and Kurt got up and headed for the exit. As he was about to close the door behind him, he heard his cell phone beep again, but he didn’t have time to check it. He hurried to the stage where Rachel was standing in full costume, her face wracked with nerves. She smiled shakily at Kurt when she saw him.

“How can you look so calm?” she asked.

He shrugged. Nothing really fazed him anymore. He peeked past the curtain and saw Nelson sitting in the front row. Kurt felt himself smile at the sight of his boyfriend.

“Break a leg tonight,” said their director, Jesse St. James, coming up behind them. He had moved to New York a few years ago and was already one of the top directors on Broadway. He was kind of a douche, but Kurt knew that their musical was going to be a success and that was in large portion to Jesse’s dedication.

He grinned as he grabbed Rachel’s hand. “You look beautiful tonight, Rachel. You’ll stun them all.”

Rachel smiled weakly, stuttering her thanks. Though the two had briefly dated in high school, Rachel claimed she wasn’t interested in rekindling their relationship. After her broken engagement with Kurt’s step-brother Finn, she’d stated she wanted to focus solely on her career. But anyone with eyes could see the sparks between Rachel and Jesse. It was only a matter of time before Jesse won her over.

He turned and looked at Kurt. Kurt raised his eyebrows in expectation. Instead of giving him any kind of reassurances or last minute advice, Jesse said, “Kurt, don’t fuck up tonight.”

“Thanks,” he replied sarcastically.

With a nod at both of them, Jesse left to take his seat in the lighting booth. The stage manager came over and gave them a nod. The music cued and after taking a deep breath, Kurt walked onto the stage.

The performance went flawlessly and given the standing ovation they received at the end, they knew they had their hit. Kurt made his way to his dressing room with adrenalin rushing through his blood. Jumping into the shower, he scrubbed the stage make-up off his face and washed the sweat out of his hair. As he finished dressing, he heard his cell go off again. Grabbing it, he frowned when he saw the amount of missed calls he had, including some from an unknown number.

The first voicemail was from Finn.

_“Hey bro, the doctor said Marcy can’t travel this close to her delivery date so it looks like we’re going to have to miss the performance. Maybe the baby will be here by the time the show closes and we can see it then. Break a leg tonight and give R-Rachel my best.”_

Kurt smirked at that. Rachel would sooner set herself on fire then receive any best wishes from Finn, but it was the thought that counted. The next message was from Sam and Mercedes.

_“Hey Kurt,”_ Sam started. _“We just wanted to wish you good luck tonight—”_

_“Sam, you can’t say good luck,”_ Mercedes interrupted. _“Didn’t Kurt force you to watch ‘The Producers?’ It’s bad luck to say good luck on opening night.”_

_“Oh right, sorry. Break a leg then.”_

_“Sam’s parents are coming to Jersey next weekend,”_ Mercedes continued. _“They agreed to watch the kids so we’re planning a weekend getaway in the city. We’re gonna try to get tickets to the show. Love you!”_

Kurt deleted the message, making a mental note to talk to his agent. He knew the show was already sold out, but he was going to pull some strings and get tickets. Sam and Mercedes had two little girls who kept them busy so for them to come to the city was a rare occasion.

The next call made him drop his phone. With shaking hands, he picked it back up and replayed the message.

_“Hey Kurt…this is…this is Coop—Blaine’s brother.”_ Like he could forget? _“Listen, I got your number from your agent. I don’t know how to tell you this or if you’ll even care…”_ This was said in a much more bitter tone. _“…but Blaine’s been in an accident. He got mugged last night while waiting for a sub. He tried to fight back but one of the muggers pushed him onto the track. He’s alive, but he hit his head pretty hard. And—Christ, I can’t get into this over the phone. Can you call me back?”_

He scanned the missed calls. He had received three messages from Cooper. He skipped over his other voicemails from his agent and friends and listened to the next message. This one was short and to the point.

_“Jesus, I know you and Blaine had your differences, but don’t be a dick. Call me.”_

Then the final message.

_“Hey, sorry about the last message. I just saw on the news that your musical is opening tonight. That must be where you’re at. Please call me back as soon as you get this.”_

Kurt hung up the phone and ran into Rachel’s dressing room next door without knocking. She shrieked and covered her naked form with a robe.

“Kurt! Knock much.”

“Where’s your phone?”

She looked at him in instant concern. “In my purse. Why?”

“You have Blaine’s number, right?” When she nodded, he grabbed her purse off the vanity and threw it at her. “Call him. Call him right now.”

“What’s going on?”

“Just do it, Rachel. Please.”

With confusion on her face, she took her phone out of her purse and made the call. She shook her head after a minute and said, “Voicemail.”

Any hopes that this was some kind of cruel dream vanished. Barely able to see what he was doing through the tears that were now in his eyes, he pulled up Cooper’s number from the missed calls list on his phone and dialed back.

“Kurt, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Rachel implored, touching his shoulder. He shook his head as he waited.

As soon as Cooper answered, he said, “It’s Kurt. What…how’s Blaine?”

“Thank Christ,” Cooper muttered when he heard Kurt’s voice. “He’s okay…he broke his leg and a couple of ribs, but he’ll heal. The doctors are more concerned with the damage to his head.”

Kurt felt queasy. “How bad is it?”

Cooper sighed. “Is there anyway you can come here? He’s at Metro.”

Kurt swallowed over the painful lump in his throat. “He won’t want to see me.”

“That’s the thing,” Cooper said tiredly. “He doesn’t want to see anyone _but_ you. Kurt…he doesn’t remember that you’re divorced.”


	2. Chapter 2

"What am I even doing here?" Kurt muttered, his stomach twisting sickeningly as he and Rachel rode the elevator up to the hospital floor Blaine was on.

Rachel huffed impatiently next to him. "For the millionth time, you're being a good, decent human being."

The elevator grinded to a halt and the metal doors opened, revealing the sterile intensive care ward. Rachel was only able to take a couple of steps before Kurt put a restraining hand on her arm.

"I…I don't think I can do this," he confessed, panic setting in.

He'd been operating on auto-pilot ever since he received the call from Cooper. Rachel had been the one to tell Jesse that his two stars weren't going to attend the premiere party due to an emergency. She'd been the one to calm him before Jesse had a conniption. She was the one who told Nelson that Kurt would have to call him later because they were needed at the hospital for an injured friend. Nelson had offered to go with Kurt, taking his hand in sympathy as he read the shock on Kurt's face, but Kurt had shaken his head and pulled away. He wasn't sure what condition Blaine was in, but he was pretty positive introducing the ex to the new guy while said ex was lying in a hospital bed wasn't exactly considered good taste.

As Kurt swayed dizzyingly on his feet, Rachel grabbed his cheeks and steadied him before pulling him down until they were eye level.

"You can do this," she affirmed confidently.

"Rachel, I haven't seen Blaine since the day of our divorce," Kurt whispered.

That last encounter had been painful enough to last ten lifetimes. He could remember it as clear as if it were yesterday. Blaine had been sitting on the courthouse steps, his hands clasped together between his knees, his shoulders slumped in defeat. When Kurt had arrived, Blaine had gotten to his feet with such pain in his eyes…

" _Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked._

" _I'm sure," Kurt replied, though his heart felt like it was made of lead._

_Blaine's face twisted bitterly. "Yeah well, I guess this is what you've been aiming for so let's get it over with."_

" _What the hell does that mean?" Kurt questioned angrily, stomping up to Blaine until their chests were almost touching. "Are you saying that I was aiming for you to cheat on me?"_

" _It was one drunken kiss…" Blaine gritted out. "And you're hardly innocent, Kurt."_

" _Are you accusing me of cheating on you?" Kurt asked incredulously._

" _No…" Blaine said in frustration. "What I'm saying is you left this marriage long before I ever kissed Sebastian. What I did was stupid, but hey, at least it gave you the excuse you were looking for, didn't it? Now you get to go off and have your career without a husband dragging you down. Idiot that I am, I assumed when you used to talk about wanting to have it all—marriage, kids, a career—that you wanted those things with me."_

" _I did—" Kurt choked, stopping himself before admitting something he couldn't take back—like the fact that he did still want those things with Blaine…only ever with Blaine. "I did want kids…after my career's established."_

" _Sure…so you've told me over the years," Blaine said, closing his eyes wearily before he focused back on Kurt. "The thing is, Kurt, I don't think you'll ever be established enough. Not in your mind anyway. So whatever. Let's get divorced so you can be free. You'll have all the time in the world to focus on establishing your career. I hope it's worth it."_

Kurt had watched Blaine disappear into the courthouse, but by the time he'd gone in to sign the papers, Blaine was already gone, the ink still wet.

Rachel snapped her fingers in front of Kurt's face, bringing him back to the present. "If you remember, once upon a time you and Blaine were best friends."

"That was a long time ago, Rachel," Kurt reminded her. "We stopped being friends—and everything else—for a reason. It hurt too much to be around each other. There's no going back from that."

"You don't have to go back. But you can learn from your past so you know how to fix the mistakes and move on." She looked Kurt closely in the eye before she shook her head sadly. "There's no shame in admitting that you miss him."

"Of course I do. We were close from the moment we first laid eyes on each other at Dalton. But…we just weren't happy together anymore."

"You're not happy apart," Rachel countered. "Either of you. You're just too stupid and stubborn to admit you need each other."

"We don't—"

"Don't you?" Rachel interrupted sweetly. "Then why did you rush here? Why is it that Blaine doesn't even remember that you're not together anymore?"

Kurt swallowed over the painful lump that had formed in his throat. He couldn't respond even if he'd wanted to. Rachel seemed to understand that.

"Let's just go see how he is. Take it one step at a time, all right?"

"Yeah," Kurt whispered.

They got Blaine's room number from the greeter stationed in the ICU waiting area and headed in that direction. They were immediately stopped by security as they went through the glass doors separating the patient rooms from the rest of the floor—which meant Cooper was around. While Rachel and Kurt had made names for themselves in the Broadway scene, their fame was nothing compared to A-list Hollywood actor, Cooper Anderson.

After giving their names to security and getting the okay to go through, they approached Blaine's room. Cooper came out before they could open the door, looking startled and relieved to see them.

"Hey, thanks for coming," he said, hugging Rachel before offering his hand to Kurt.

Kurt took it slowly, raising an eyebrow. Blaine and Cooper had had a lot of differences over the years, so much so that they barely spoke to each other. And yet, here Cooper was, playing the role of distraught brother to perfection. There were dark circles under his red puffy eyes, and his hair was mussed as if he'd run his hand through it repeatedly. He looked exhausted.

"I'm a little surprised to see you here," Kurt finally said. "Shouldn't you be off making a movie somewhere, avoiding Blaine like you usually do?"

Cooper dropped Kurt's hand immediately and coolness entered his eyes. "Things have changed a lot over the past few years, Kurt. After you broke my brother's heart, he needed some family to rely on."

"After I broke _his_ heart?" Kurt replied, instantly stiffening in defense.

"Boys," Rachel said, stepping in between them and putting restraining hands on their chests. "Now's not the time, agreed?"

They both nodded while glaring at each other, but Cooper finally looked away to grin widely at Rachel. "It's really great to see you, squirt."

"Call me that again and lose a testy," Rachel warned and Cooper laughed, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

"C'mon," he said, turning back to the closed door that led into Blaine's room. He paused before he opened it, glancing over his shoulder. "I really do appreciate you coming, Kurt. Blaine's been really restless since he regained consciousness."

"How long was he knocked out?" Kurt asked worriedly.

"The mugging happened close to midnight. He finally came to around noon today. When he was able to speak, the first thing he said was your name. He's been anxious ever since. He seems to think you were with him during the attack and you were hurt too but we're just not telling him."

"How do you know he has amnesia?" Kurt questioned.

"He was awake for a short time and somewhat coherent. The doctor asked him what year he thought it was and he said five years ago. Then he asked where you were. When we didn't produce you, he tried several times to get out of the bed. They finally had to sedate him."

"Mr. Anderson, could I have a moment?" a nurse asked, coming up to them looking flustered at Coop's presence. Cooper nodded and motioned for Rachel and Kurt to go into the room. Kurt closed his eyes briefly before entering.

Since the divorce, Kurt had pictured seeing Blaine again in a hundred different ways. Scenes where he'd drive by Blaine in a limo, adoring fans running down the road after him. Other scenes where Kurt would be sitting in a park, casually kissing whatever current guy he was with as Blaine walked by, the pain on his face equal to how Kurt felt when he saw Blaine kissing Sebastian. All scenarios showing Kurt prosperous and happy while Blaine was left miserable, regretful, and alone. And if the occasional fantasy would pop into his head of Blaine finding him thus allowing them to run off into the sunset together—well, Kurt quickly squashed those, replacing them with the lover scorned images.

However, in all the scenarios Kurt pictured, reuniting with Blaine while he was injured in a hospital bed was not something Kurt ever imaged. Taking a shaky breath, he followed Rachel into the heart of the room. She went to one side of Blaine's bed and picked up his hand. Kurt made his way to other side not looking at the still body lying there. He let his eyes travel slowly from the well worn floor to the metal hospital bed and then finally to Blaine's face. He sucked in a painful breath as his gaze locked onto the familiar features thirstily.

Though it had only been three years, age lines were now deeply grooved into the area surrounding Blaine's eyes. His head was wrapped in white gauze and his leg was in a sling. Even under the gauze, Kurt could see evidence of a very ugly bruise on his forehead. Blaine's eyebrows were pulled together and Kurt could see his eyes moving back and forth rapidly. His breathing was almost labored and he seemed to be gritting his teeth while his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. Cooper was right, Blaine was restless.

Kurt took a closer step to the bed and frowned. There was a scar on the left side of Blaine's face that was too old to be from the mugging. It ran halfway down his cheek to the underside of his chin. Kurt reached out and traced it lightly with a trembling finger. As soon as he made contact with Blaine's skin, Blaine went still, his breath calming as his body relaxed slightly. Kurt barely noticed the reaction, his mind too focused on the sensation of touching the soft flesh he only saw in dreams anymore.

"How?" Kurt whispered to Rachel as his finger ran down the length of the scar. Blaine's head turned slightly in his direction.

"He was covering an uprising in the Middle East a couple of summers ago. He got caught in the crossfire. He was lucky to get out alive."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kurt asked accusingly.

"As I recall, I did try," Rachel responded self-righteously. "You got up and stormed out of the room, shouting that if I ever mentioned Blaine to you again you'd stop speaking to me."

"You should have tried harder," Kurt said lowly, not taking his eyes off Blaine.

"Well, maybe if you weren't such an obstinate ass, I would have—"

A low groan interrupted what was starting to be a very promising argument. Kurt held his breath as Blaine's eyelids fluttered before slowly opening. He blinked as if the light above him hurt his eyes and then his gaze slowly shifted to Kurt. A small smile formed on Blaine's lips and Kurt felt his heart ache at the sight.

"Hey," Blaine murmured, his voice drowsy.

"Hi," Kurt pushed out, unable to say anymore. It had been so long since he saw those eyes—heard that voice.

"Blaine, how are you feeling?" Rachel asked, giving Kurt a pitying smile. Sometimes that girl understood him too well.

Blaine's head rolled slowly in her direction before he looked back at Kurt, as if drawn to the sight of him by invisible magnets.

"I'm a flower," he finally stated.

Kurt felt his forehead furrow. He glanced at Rachel but she was looking equally confused.

"What was that?" Kurt asked.

"Did you remember to take the car out?" Blaine said instead.

"The car out?" Kurt repeated. He heard Rachel snort but Blaine was now looking at him as if he'd grown two heads.

"What are you talking about?" Blaine questioned.

"What are _you_ talking about?" Kurt countered.

"Why would you take the car out? That doesn't make sense," Blaine said.

Kurt paused before reaching out to trace the gauze wrapped around Blaine's forehead. Blaine closed his eyes and moaned in appreciation at Kurt's soft touch.

"How's the head?" Kurt asked.

"Hurts," Blaine said. "I'm tired."

And just like that he was out again. Kurt felt his mouth drop open. After spending the past three years mentally developing how his first conversation with Blaine would go after their divorce, that was what he got? Kurt wasn't sure if he felt let down, horrified, or if he just wanted to laugh. That was so fucking typical of Blaine.

"How's he doing?" Cooper asked as he came into the room.

"He came to for a little bit, but he's really out of it," Rachel told him in amusement.

Cooper chuckled. "Yeah, that's the pain meds. Earlier he accused me of being an oompa loompa trying to steal his pot of gold."

"I—I have to go," Kurt suddenly announced. He couldn't breathe. He literally couldn't draw in a breath and it was starting to freak him out. He turned and headed for the exit but Cooper stepped in his path.

"Will you be back?"

"Yeah," was all Kurt could say before he pushed past the other man and hurried out of the room. He headed for the elevators and stabbed at the button requesting the lift.

"Hey," Rachel said behind him. "Are you all right?"

"I can't talk about it, Rachel," he muttered.

Seeing Blaine so vulnerable in that bed had done something to Kurt. Knowing that Blaine could have died twice in the past three years—and Kurt wouldn't have even known about it—had been like a punch to the heart. Whatever poison had seeped into their relationship, it didn't stop Kurt from caring about Blaine on some fundamental level. He could function in a world that Blaine existed in even if they weren't together. But a world without Blaine—Kurt couldn't think of it.

The elevator doors opened and Kurt and Rachel got in, descending to the main floor in silence. As they headed outside, Kurt ignored the rain that had started to fall sometime while they were indoors. He began walking down the sidewalk.

"Kurt, wait," Rachel implored. "Don't you want to get a cab? Maybe we could still make it to the premiere party."

He turned back to look at her, not even caring that the rain was turning his designer outfit into a sopping mess. "That's okay. You go ahead without me. I'm not really in the partying spirit right now."

"Then why don't we get a cab to at least take you home."

"Rachel, I'll be fine. I…I just want to walk."

"Will you call me later?" Rachel asked, her face wrinkling in worry.

"Yeah," Kurt assured before he started walking again.

He was soaked to the skin in a manner of minutes, but Kurt didn't care. He focused on putting one foot in front of the other as his mind flooded with memories. Whenever he allowed Blaine to creep into his mind over the past three years, he remembered the bad stuff. The Blaine he fought with all the time. The Blaine who kept Sebastian around even though he knew Kurt didn't like him. The Blaine who kissed Sebastian.

Now he was remembering the other Blaine—the one he tried so hard to forget. The Blaine who had taken his hand at Dalton that first day and who danced with him at Prom after his school humiliated him. The Blaine who gave him his first meaningful kiss and who made his first time so wonderful. The Blaine who stayed by his side on his twenty-first birthday and who cleaned up the alcohol-induced vomit afterwards. The Blaine who he promised to love and cherish in sickness and in health for as long as they lived.

That was the Blaine he had never gotten over no matter what he told himself. He was the reason Nelson and the other guys he dated over the years never sparked anything inside of him. No one could measure up to Blaine. And that was the real problem. No one ever _would_ measure up to Blaine.

That's why Kurt realized he needed to keep his distance. If he let Blaine in now, he would never get over him. He would never be able to move on and get some peace in his life.

After walking around lost in thought for over an hour, Kurt finally made it home sometime after midnight. He sent Rachel a quick text letting her know he was okay, before he stripped off his wet clothes, throwing them on the floor carelessly. They were already ruined so there was no point in hanging them up to dry. Crawling onto his bed, he rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling for hours.

Kurt finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep when the sun started to peek through the blinds in his room. He jolted awake a few hours later and groaned when he saw it was 9 AM. He had rehearsal at noon and he was utterly exhausted. Yawning, he went into the bathroom and washed the grim of New York off of him. Dressing casually, he made his way into the kitchen for some breakfast and much needed coffee. Glancing at the clock on his microwave, he saw that it was now a little after ten. Sighing, he grabbed what he needed for the day and left his apartment, hailing a cab to take him to the hospital.

He walked into the ICU and froze as he entered Blaine's room. The bed was empty. His earlier coffee began to rise in his throat but he managed to swallow it back down as he hurried over to the nurse's desk.

"Where's Blaine Anderson?" he demanded.

She looked at him for a moment and then entered the name into her computer. "He's no longer considered critical so he's been moved to a private room three floors up."

"Thanks," Kurt said in relief, taking the piece of paper she handed him with Blaine's new room number written on it.

"Excuse me, but aren't you Kurt Hummel?"

"Err, yes," Kurt replied, backing away with an internal groan. He recognized that look. He mentally started counting down… _3…2…1…_

"Oh my God, I loved you in the revival of South Pacific. You completely stole the show."

"Thanks," Kurt replied, giving her a professional smile.

The nurse glanced around and said quietly, "Um…could I get your autograph?"

Impatient to find Blaine, he nodded and quickly signed the paper she handed to him.

"Thanks again for your help," he said before she could say anything else. She started to open her mouth again, but he turned before he had to acknowledge her response. He loved his fans, but sometimes like now, he wished he could keep his professional life and personal life separate.

After he got on the right floor, passed Cooper's security, and found Blaine's room, he entered it quickly, expecting to find Blaine asleep like he was yesterday. Blaine wasn't. He was staring at the ceiling, his body tense, his face showing signs that he'd been crying.

Kurt cleared his throat and Blaine's eyes snapped to his face, the instant relief obvious.

"You're here," Blaine whispered.

"I'm here," Kurt replied, taking a step forward.

"I thought…" Kurt watched as Blaine visibly swallowed. "I thought you were dead. They wouldn't tell me where you were."

"I was here last night," Kurt told him and Blaine's eyebrows shot up before he winced in pain and relaxed his face.

"Were you? I don't remember."

"You said you were a flower," Kurt joked.

Blaine looked horrified before he let out a little laugh. It quickly disappeared as tears began to trickle down past his temples.

He shook his head slightly as he repeated, "I thought you were dead."

"Well as you can see, I'm not," Kurt said gently, pulling up a chair next to the bed and sitting down, ignoring the hand Blaine had moved across the mattress in his direction.

"Where were you then? Why weren't you here?" Blaine questioned, his tone slightly accusing.

"I was here late last night," Kurt exaggerated. "I decided to go home and get some rest."

"It doesn't look like you slept much," Blaine responded, his eyes wandering over Kurt's face.

"Is that your polite way of saying I look bad?" Kurt said lightly.

"You could never look bad. Not in a million years."

"Clearly you're still heavily medicated."

"Maybe, but that doesn't make what I said any less true." Blaine grinned at him and Kurt felt himself responding despite himself. Damn Blaine and his irresistible charm. He pulled his gaze away and let his eyes wander around the room.

"Hey," Blaine said bringing Kurt's attention back to him. "I'm okay, you know. My head hurts like hell and my leg isn't much better but I'm going to be okay."

"I know," Kurt replied softly. "You're too stubborn to die."

"You don't have to be upset," Blaine insisted.

"I'm not," Kurt denied.

"Then why won't you hold my hand or even look at me for more than ten seconds," Blaine said knowingly. "You haven't even tried to kiss me, which is why I know you're upset. You always close yourself off when you feel that way."

"I do not," Kurt snapped. This conversation was bordering on old territory. There had been quite a few fights between them where Blaine accused Kurt of not letting him in.

Blaine raised an eyebrow in challenge and offered Kurt his hand again. Kurt sighed before taking it, running his thumb over the back of Blaine's knuckles in an unconsciously familiar gesture. As they held hands some of the tension left Kurt's shoulders, and he could see Blaine visibly relax as well.

"You look different," Blaine remarked suddenly and Kurt went rigid again.

"Stress can do that," he replied instantaneously.

"That's not it though," Blaine stated. "You just look…different. I can't put my finger on it."

Kurt knew he looked older. The divorce hadn't been easy on him. Like Blaine, his face showed deeper lines around the eyes and had a slight wrinkle in the space between his eyebrows.

"Blaine," Kurt said hesitantly. "What was the last memory you can recall before you were hurt?"

Blaine frowned. "I remember getting out of bed and kissing you goodbye before leaving for the studio." He suddenly smiled slyly. "You were trying to lure me back into bed. It was tempting, but I was going to be late for an important meeting with Sebastian's boss so I left."

Kurt's stomach twisted and he let go of Blaine's hand, standing up quickly. Blaine looked at him in bemusement.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"I have to go to work," Kurt replied.

"You just got here." Blaine glanced at the clock on the wall. "Are you working a day shift today? I thought the restaurant agreed to let you work evenings so you could audition during the day."

"They did," Kurt fibbed. "I have an a-audition. I can't miss it."

"Oh…" Blaine looked crestfallen. "I thought maybe you'd stay a little while longer…seeing as I'm your husband and I'm in the hospital."

Kurt almost told him the truth. That no, he wasn't his husband anymore. Not since Blaine kissed Sebastian. The fact that one of Blaine's last memories involved Sebastian sent anger sizzling through Kurt's veins. It wasn't Blaine's fault. He didn't know that Sebastian had been a catalyst for the destruction of their marriage. But Kurt knew. Which was why he had to get away before he said something he might regret.

"I can't stay," Kurt said a little more waspishly than he intended to.

"Will you be back afterward?" Blaine asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Kurt said with the slightest hesitation.

Blaine's lips formed a sexy smile. "Kiss me and make me believe it."

Kurt felt his heart jerk at the familiar words. It was a game they used to play. Nothing meant anything between them unless they gave their word with a kiss. The kisses usually led to more enjoyable activities…like spending a wild afternoon together in bed.

Kurt shook his head. "You're hurt."

"I broke my leg not my lips," Blaine reminded him smugly. He puckered up his mouth so exaggeratedly Kurt snorted. Though his mind was screaming _run away_ , Kurt walked slowly back over to Blaine's bed and leaned down.

He had every intention of giving Blaine a chaste peck on lips, but these were _Blaine's_ lips. Kurt couldn't pull away even if he wanted to, his body freezing in place as he pressed his mouth to the full firmness of Blaine's. It had been too dammed long.

Sparks flew through his system like an oncoming electrical storm. Blaine parted his mouth and sucked on Kurt's lower lip, the sensation shooting straight to Kurt's groin. When he realized he was reacting, Kurt jerked back and turned towards the door.

"See ya later," he said, his voice high.

"Bye," Blaine replied, a mix of confusion and desire in his tone. "I love you."

Kurt placed his hand on the door handle. He closed his eyes briefly at that announcement before he muttered, "Be back soon."

He waited until he was in the elevator before he let his guard down, his shoulders sagging as he ran a trembling hand through his hair.

"Fuck," he murmured. This wasn't good. _Barriers, idiot. Keep those barriers up before he breaks your heart again._

Kurt made it through rehearsal, fielding off most of Rachel's questions and putting up with Jesse's anger over him missing the party. By the time they were through for the day it was well past dinnertime. After giving Nelson a call, he made his way back to the hospital, tiredness infiltrating his body. He trudged toward Blaine's door and found Cooper standing outside texting.

"Hi," Kurt said in greeting.

"Hey, I was just texting Rachel to see if she'd seen you. I tried calling you."

Kurt looked at his phone and saw that the battery must have died after his conversation with Nelson. "Sorry, my phone's dead. What's up?"

Cooper eyed him warily. "I told Blaine the truth…about what year it really is, I mean."

Kurt suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of relief followed by a crushing sense of disappointment.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because the last time Blaine saw me, we weren't exactly on speaking terms," Cooper explained. "He didn't understand why I was around now. The doctor said it would be okay if he knew some things."

" _Some_ things…not _every_ thing," Kurt said slowly. "Does that mean…?"

"I didn't tell him the truth about you two," Cooper said, his tone pleading. "Kurt, you've got to understand. Blaine is terrified right now. In his mind, it's five years ago when you were happily married to each other. The doctor says if he's pushed too far, he might never get his memory back. And whether you like it or not, he's holding on to the one thing that has always been constant for him. You. He needs you, Kurt. Without you, he might never recover."

"What are you saying?" Kurt questioned though he knew. Holy shit did he ever.

"Blaine needs to be surrounded by what he knows. You are what he knows. Kurt, you need to pretend you're still married to him."


	3. Chapter 3

_Kurt, you need to pretend you're still married to him._

Kurt stared blankly at Cooper, his hearing going fuzzy. He knew Cooper had just said something important—something involving him and Blaine—but his mind was having trouble keeping up with the conversation.

"I'm sorry," he said. "What did you say?"

"Look, it's no big deal. You just have to pretend you're still married to him until he gets his memory back."

"No big deal!" Kurt screeched so high he was pretty sure only dogs could hear him. Taking a shaky breath, he said in a calmer voice, "I can't do it, Cooper. I've got a life—a boyfriend for Christ's sake. What am I supposed to do? Ditch it all to shack up with Blaine?"

"Well, yeah…but spare me the details regarding your intent to shack up with my baby brother, thanks," Cooper said lightly and Kurt's mind went instantly into X-rated mode, filling with thoughts of exactly what shacking up with Blaine could entail. He shook his head to get some clarity even as his cheeks burned.

"Do you have any idea how ridiculous this conversation is?" he snapped. "Have you even thought about what you're asking me? What about Blaine for that matter? Do you think he'll be happy about this once he gets his memory back?"

"You haven't a friggin' clue what my brother would feel…not anymore," Cooper replied coldly. "If you don't want to do it, fine. Go ahead and tell him the truth right now. Who cares what permanent damage you could do."

Kurt was so pissed he started to shake. He walked over to Blaine's room and was about to go through the open door when he stopped. Blaine was lying in bed with his head turned towards the window, giving Kurt a view of his profile. His eyes traced the scar Blaine had received overseas, the jagged line standing out on his otherwise flawless cheek. The remote to his private TV was next to him, the speaker infused inside it blaring whatever Blaine was watching. Not that he seemed to be paying attention. Kurt doubted he would hear a bomb go off right next to him for all the awareness he was showing.

Kurt's heart ached as he read the clear emotion on his ex's face. Blaine who had more courage than anyone Kurt knew—a guy who stood up to bullies and always fought for what he believed in spite of the consequences—was terrified. It was there in the tightness of his mouth and the shallow rise and fall of his chest. It was there in the rigid way he held himself. Kurt felt his resolve crack and fall into pieces around his feet. Blaine just seemed so…lost.

Kurt closed his eyes in weary acceptance. Damn his weak heart. Despite everything, he couldn't do it. He couldn't leave Blaine trapped and alone in a mind that didn't remember what was real and what was an illusion.

Taking a resigned step back, he turned to Cooper and said, "What if he never gets his memory back?"

"Then you can break the news of your divorce to him when he's in a more stable frame of mind."

"Where are we supposed to live?" Kurt questioned, closing his eyes again as he squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, and therefore missing Cooper's triumphant smile.

"Same place you've lived before."

That got Kurt's attention. "You mean…"

"Blaine never sold the apartment after you moved out. I can't say I blame him. It's a nice place."

Kurt glanced back toward Blaine in shock. Why would he want to stay there? The place had so many bad memories. Kurt hadn't been able to get away from it fast enough.

"I'm not sleeping with him," he blurted before he realized what he'd said.

"Again, don't need the details of how you plan on seducing my brother," Cooper said as he moved to stand next to him.

"I didn't mean it like that," Kurt muttered in exasperation.

"I know," Cooper replied. He lightly nudged Kurt on the arm. "Relax Kurt. I'm not asking you to sleep with him. You don't even have to share a room with him if you don't want. He just—your presence soothes him. Just be there for him as a friend."

Kurt slowly nodded, though he wasn't able to relax. There were two bedrooms in the apartment. One had been theirs. The other had been used as a guest room for family and friends. When they'd first seen the place, Blaine had deemed the room was going to be for their future child. Kurt had ignored him, enthusing over the state-of-the-art kitchen instead. He'd been so quick to dismiss Blaine's excitement over the idea of being parents back then. He couldn't help but feel a little sad at the missed opportunities they could have had. How ironic that Kurt was going to have to sleep in that room now.

Worst, he couldn't imagine what Blaine's reaction was going to be when he found out they weren't sharing a bed. Blaine had always been a cuddler, even when they slept. And in his mind, they were happily married. He wasn't going to understand why Kurt would insist on sleeping in the guest bedroom. But it was the right thing to do.

"I guess I should go talk to him," Kurt stated. With a quick nod at Cooper, he entered the room and closed the door softly behind him. Blaine snapped out of whatever level of hell he was in and looked in Kurt's direction.

"Kurt, hey," he said, his gaze running frantically over Kurt's face as if analyzing the changes he saw there with fresh eyes. "I guess I know now why you look different. You're older."

"I look old?" Kurt asked with a smile.

"Never. You'll be hundred and still gorgeous," Blaine insisted and Kurt snorted as he approached the bed and sat down in the chair next to it.

"Are you doing okay?" he asked.

"Not really," Blaine replied gruffly before staring at the ceiling. "I feel like I've stepped into a foreign land where I'm trying to communicate with people but I don't understand the language they're speaking. I just—five years of my life…gone."

"You have to take it one day at a time," Kurt stated as he started to reach for Blaine's hand, catching himself before they could make contact. His arm dropped uselessly to his side.

"So…" Blaine said, not noticing Kurt's reaction as he swallowed painfully. "What have I missed the past five years?"

Yeah. Kurt wasn't touching that one.

"Oh…not a lot," he murmured, feeling queasy. If there was one thing he and Blaine had always prided themselves on, it was their brutal honesty with each other. He was so tempted to tell the truth, but then he remembered what Cooper said. Giving Blaine too much information might trap him inside his head forever.

"C-Coop said that you and Rachel are on Broadway together," Blaine said before a frown appeared on his face.

It must have been startling for him to see Cooper in his room when he'd first regained consciousness. The brothers rarely got along. There was love between them—as well as a competitive streak that ran a mile deep. They briefly reconciled when Blaine was a teen, but while he and Kurt were in college, Cooper had made a film that turned him into an overnight sensation. The brothers' relationship deteriorated after that. Though Blaine never came out and said so, Kurt often thought Cooper's success was the reason Blaine decided to go into another career other than performing. He had lived in his big brother's shadow all his life. He'd wanted to create his own path. Yet somehow, the boys must have made up since Blaine and Kurt's divorce.

"Yes, Rachel and I are in a show together," Kurt confirmed. "We just opened in fact."

"Did I enjoy it?" Blaine questioned, glancing at Kurt with panicked, confused eyes. "I mean, of course I enjoyed it, right? You were in it."

He sounded hopeful, as if it he were willing the memory to happen. Kurt shook his head regretfully.

"You didn't see it…yet." Kurt tacked on. "We opened the day of your accident."

"I see," Blaine said, unconsciously reaching up to touch the bandage on his head. "But you _are_ on Broadway. You made it."

"Yep," Kurt told him with a grin. "Rachel and I are the leads. Jesse St. James is our director."

"St. James," Blaine murmured and he had that look again—like he was searching for a memory. "Why do I know that name?"

"I went to high school with him for a brief time. He took Rachel to prom my junior year. I used to refer to him as Jesse St. Sucks."

"Ah," Blaine said, a smile appearing on his lips. "I kind of remember him. He was always chasing after Rachel if I recall correctly."

Kurt laughed. "Yeah, that much hasn't changed since school."

Blaine's eyes drifted to Kurt's lips before he tentatively reached for Kurt's hand. With only the slightest hesitation, Kurt took what was offered. Their fingers immediately entwined. Blaine glanced at Kurt and their gazes locked, unable to look away from each other.

"I'm really proud of you, Kurt," Blaine said softly. "You wanted to be on Broadway and you made it happen."

"Thanks," Kurt murmured a little breathlessly.

"I just wish I remembered." Blaine's tone was frustrated as he turned his eyes up to the ceiling again. "Was I at least sitting in the front row of each of your shows? Did I remember to tell you to break a leg every opening night?"

Blaine was panicking again and Kurt jumped up, clasping Blaine's hand tightly in both of his as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"You—you're always with me," Kurt confessed and silently hoped Blaine was too groggy on medication to remember this conversation. Because it was true. No matter what Kurt had done in the past three years, Blaine had always been there in the back of his mind.

Blaine flipped his hand over so that his palm was pressed against Kurt's left one. He started to move his thumb over Kurt's fingers, but the motion stopped when he reached the ring finger. He frowned as his eyes narrowed on Kurt's hand.

"Where's your ring?"

Kurt wanted to pull away so that he could shove the offending hand in his pocket, hiding it from Blaine's view. He didn't have his wedding band anymore. In a fit of rage, Kurt had thrown it into the East River. The beautiful band that Blaine had picked out himself was more than likely buried deep in sludge by now. Kurt had regretted the action immediately, but he wasn't an actor for nothing. Dramatic reactions were part of his profession.

And speaking of acting…Kurt pushed back the sudden tears which had popped up at the thought of his ring and said, "It's getting professionally cleaned."

Blaine lifted his own left hand and his eyebrows snapped together. "And mine?"

"Same thing," Kurt lied and Blaine nodded slowly, though his face still looked tense.

"I don't like seeing you without it," he stated, gripping Kurt's fingers a little tighter. "I don't like being without mine."

"We'll get them back in no time," Kurt responded, not meeting Blaine's eyes. He stood up and let go of Blaine's hand. "Listen, I've got to go. I've got a matinee tomorrow and then an evening show. I need to get some sleep."

"And the show must go on," Blaine said sadly.

"Yeah," Kurt replied. He stared at Blaine's despondent features and then without hesitation this time, he leaned down and kissed him. His hand went to the side of Blaine's face, his thumb tracing the scar there. By the time he pulled up for air, they were both breathing erratically.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Kurt promised huskily. "It probably won't be until late, but I'll be back."

"Okay," Blaine said. His own hand came up and lightly grazed Kurt's cheek. Kurt felt the soft touch all the way to his stomach. Blaine's face was tender as he said, "I love you."

"Yeah—me, umm…I should go," Kurt sputtered. Jerking away so that Blaine's hand was left lingering in the air, he headed for the exit.

He had his palm on the door handle when Blaine said, "Kurt?"

Something in his tone sent Kurt instantly on edge. "Yes?"

"We're okay, right?"

Without looking back at Blaine, he said as neutrally as he could, "Why would you ask that?"

"Because that's the second time I told you I loved you and you didn't say anything back." When Kurt didn't reply, merely stood there in rigid silence, Blaine's voice turned pleading. "Kurt…tell me we're okay."

Cursing silently, Kurt glanced back at Blaine and said as calmly as he could, "Stop looking for problems, Blaine. Everything's just…everything's perfect."

And with that lie lingering in the air between them, he opened the door and walked outside. Cooper was sitting in a chair in the waiting room across the hall. He was sipping a cup of coffee while reading a magazine that had his face on the cover. Kurt rolled his eyes and walked over to him.

Cooper looked up and put the magazine away. "How'd it go?"

Kurt sighed as he leaned against the wall. "I hate lying."

"It's not lying," Cooper countered. "It's acting for a great cause."

"Of course _you_ would see it that way," Kurt said dryly. "So when does this happen? Me moving back in with Blaine, I mean."

"He has to stay in the hospital for another week because of the leg so that should give you time to plan accordingly. We're probably going to need to hire a nurse to help him once he gets home. He won't be able to walk around for awhile and he'll need help bathing and getting dressed…unless that's something you want to do."

"No," Kurt replied immediately, his cheeks coloring for what felt like the millionth time that day. But the idea of standing naked in the shower with Blaine brought back too many memories. Coughing, he added, "I'll look into getting a nurse."

Preferably someone old…and female.

"Besides," Kurt added matter-of-factually. "I have the show and rehearsals, so I'm not going to be around much anyway."

Cooper's eyes narrowed. "Just be careful how much you avoid him. The whole point of this is to give Blaine a secure environment to let his brain heal."

"I'm not going to avoid him," Kurt said, not looking at the other man. "As I already explained, I have a life. I'll make adjustments, but I'm not putting everything on hold."

"How gallant," Cooper murmured.

"Yeah, you know what? Fuck you, Cooper," Kurt said, finally losing his cool. "What the hell do you want from me?"

Cooper walked right up to him until they were only a foot away. In a low menacing tone, he stated, "I want to know that you won't use Blaine's injury to fuck with him as some pathetic attempt at revenge."

Kurt felt his jaw drop for a second before he said forcefully, "You think I'd do that?"

"I think you're pissed," Cooper replied before taking a step back and folding his arms across his chest. "But no…in all honesty, I don't think you'd take advantage of Blaine's vulnerability to hurt him. You're too in love with him to do that."

"I—I'm not in love with him."

"You care for him though so I know when I leave next week, he'll be in good hands."

"You're leaving?"

"Like you, I've got to get back to my career. As it is, I'm overdue to be in Morocco. I'll wait until you and Blaine get settled and then I'm going." Kurt didn't say anything—feeling too dazed to function properly. Cooper gave his arm a light squeeze. "Hey, I know you're overwhelmed right now, plus you've got the show. Do you want me to organize the nurse?"

"Yeah," Kurt agreed. Feeling as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders, Kurt turned to leave the waiting room. Before he left, he said, "Make sure the nurse is female…and old…and married."

There was no denying the amusement in Cooper's voice as he said, "Got it."

With a nod, Kurt headed for the elevator. He waited until the metal doors closed behind him before he collapsed against the wall, his energy leaving him. What the fuck did he agree to? How could he survive living with Blaine again?

Cooper's comment forced its way into his brain. _You're too in love with him…too in love with him…_

"To hell with that," Kurt muttered, pulling his cell phone out and calling Nelson. They had a short but sweet conversation. And then Kurt did what he does best.

He did something dramatic.

After leaving the hospital, he went over to Nelson's and slept with him for the first time. Like Nelson's kisses, Kurt was left feeling completely underwhelmed. It was so embarrassingly bad, the morning after should have been awkward, but Nelson seemed oblivious to the fact that Kurt wasn't impressed. He clung to Kurt's side until Kurt felt like he was going to scream.

Jumping out of the bed, he grabbed his jeans and yanked them on, not even bothering with his boxers. He ignored Nelson's stare as he picked his shirt off the floor and drew that on as well.

_Shoes…where the hell are my shoes…_

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Nelson asked in a hurt tone.

"Nothing," Kurt replied as he located one shoe next to the dresser. His eyes scoured the room desperately for the other one. "I just have to get going. I've got a matinee in a couple of hours. I want to go home and change before I head over to the theatre."

"Oh," Nelson said, sitting up, the blanket falling from his muscular shoulders to rest in folds across his lap. "Do you want to have a late dinner tonight? You can spend the night again."

Kurt internally groaned. Was this what their relationship was going to be from now on? If so, Nelson wasn't going to be around for much longer. Kurt didn't do clingy…not anymore. With relief, he found his other shoe and sat on the bed pulling the pair on. Once he was situated he turned to face Nelson.

There was no denying the other man was gorgeous with blond shaggy hair and gray stormy eyes. But he left Kurt feeling unaffected. No…that wasn't true. Kurt felt guilty—crushingly so. Like he'd just cheated. Swearing under his breath, he leaned over and kissed Nelson desperately, hoping against hope that this time there would be a spark. There was nothing.

Sighing, Kurt pulled back. "I can't tonight. I've got two shows today and two more tomorrow. I need to get my sleep. But I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," Nelson replied, leaning in for another kiss. Kurt gave him a chaste peck on the lips and got up, leaving the room quickly.

He arrived home and phoned the hospital. A call to Blaine's floor assured him that Blaine had slept peacefully through the night. Taking a shower, he stood under the warm rays until they turned ice-cold. Nothing helped Kurt get rid of the slightly soiled feeling he had. Finally stepping out of the shower, he got dressed and ate a light breakfast before making his way to the theatre.

He was standing half undressed in his dressing room, pulling his costume off the hanger when Rachel came bursting in. She stopped when she saw his revealed chest and the telling hickeys on his skin.

Her face turned disapproving. "Kurt, Blaine is in a hospital bed. You should be ashamed of yourself."

"Oh hi there Crazy Rachel, it's been awhile," Kurt replied as he pulled on his shirt.

"I'm serious, Kurt!"

"I can see that," Kurt replied as he fastened a couple buttons. "But fear not, Blaine's virtue is intact—well, as much as one's virtue can stay intact when you're a cheating liar."

"Then who…" Rachel stopped talking as her lips formed an "O."

Kurt didn't hold her in suspense. "Yes, I slept with Nelson last night."

"But…" Rachel didn't finish because Kurt walked away from her to sit in the lounge chair that was in his room. With a shuddering sigh, he covered his face with his hands and tried not to ball like a baby. Jesse would kill him if he did.

Rachel came over and put her arm around his shoulder. "Kurt, tell me what's going on."

And so he did. He told her everything. His encounters with Blaine. His agreement with Cooper. His mistake with Nelson. It all came spewing out.

Rachel was unnaturally quiet throughout it all. So much so that Kurt finally looked up to see if she'd fallen asleep. She hadn't. She was busy biting on her bottom lip, her eyes staring off in the distance.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Kurt finally asked impatiently.

"Well…I could, but I don't think you'll like the answer."

Kurt took a deep breath and said, "You might as well tell me. You will eventually anyway."

"I—I think you should look at this as an opportunity to get to know Blaine again."

Kurt jerked out of the chair and sat down at his vanity, inspecting his stage makeup through unseeing eyes.

"We've been over this. He cheated on me."

"I'm not saying he's innocent," Rachel said, coming up and putting her hands on his shoulders. "What I'm trying to say is you need to think about what you just told me. There's no spark between you and Nelson. You said it yourself. Just like every other guy you've dated since Blaine. Kurt—I want you to be happy—"

"I am," he snapped.

"No, you're not. The happiest you've ever been is with Blaine. And all I'm saying is that if you can find a way to look past what he did, maybe you could see if that spark is still there. You can at least take this opportunity to get to know him again. Even if you don't get romantically involved, didn't you say that you missed him earlier?"

"Rachel, you seem to be forgetting one thing in this whole scenario. When Blaine gets his memory back, do you really think he'll want anything to do with me?"

"Oh Kurt," Rachel said with a laugh. "Don't you know? All you've ever had to do is snap your fingers and Blaine Anderson would come crawling to you on his knees over broken glass."

Kurt opened his mouth to argue that, but the stage manager knocked on the door and told them they only had twenty minutes before places.

Rachel bent down and kissed the top of Kurt's head. "Do you want me to move your things to Blaine's sometime soon? I'm sure you'll want to spend as much time with him at the hospital as possible."

"No—"

"It'll be good for him. Maybe spending time with you will help jog his memory. After all, the quicker he gets his memory back, the quicker you get to end the charade, right? So let me do this for you. Besides you've got bigger problems to worry about."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that you still have to tell Nelson you're moving back in with your ex."

And with an angelic expression on her face, Rachel headed back to her dressing room, shouting out vocal warm-ups as she went.

After the show was over, Kurt was emotionally and physically drained. He pulled out his cell and called Blaine's direct room line.

"Hello," Blaine answered gruffly as if he'd just woken up.

"Did I wake you?" Kurt asked.

"No…I mean, I was just nodding off, but it's no problem. Are you on your way?"

"I can't," he replied in a rush. "I'm sorry, I'm just so dammed tired and I have to be at the theatre early tomorrow because Jesse is thinking of changing one of my costumes for the tenth time and—"

"Kurt, it's okay," Blaine said softly. "I used to do theatre, remember? I understand."

"I'm sorry," Kurt told him anyway.

"So when will you be in to see me again?"

"I don't know," Kurt replied. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Okay," Blaine responded, even quieter this time.

"Well…goodnight, Blaine," Kurt said when Blaine didn't say anything else.

"Goodnight, Kurt," he answered before ending the call abruptly.

Kurt looked down at his phone in shame. Cooper was right. He was avoiding Blaine.

He was halfway home before he realized that for the first time since Blaine had woken up, he hadn't ended their conversation with an, _"I love you."_

And damn if that didn't bug the hell out of Kurt.


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Rachel asked as they rode the elevator up to Blaine's apartment. "Because I told you I'd take care of this."

"It's fine," Kurt replied tightly, the suitcase in his hand held in a death grip.

Blaine was going to be released from the hospital the next morning. Kurt had taken every conceivable step to avoid him in the meantime while trying not to look like an uncaring douche. He used the show as an excuse and had successfully managed only a couple of stilted visits with his ex. Blaine seemed okay with it though Kurt knew he was hurt by his distant behavior. Which of course made Kurt feel like a complete dick.

And now the time had finally come. Despite his misgivings, effective tomorrow Blaine was going to be back in Kurt's life for the foreseeable future. The doctors estimated it was going to take at least four months for Blaine to heal. He was supposed to get his cast off in two months and then he had extensive physical therapy after that.

Without knowing how it happened, Kurt had given Cooper his word that he would stay with Blaine until Blaine was literally back on his feet. Every time Kurt thought of it, he felt nothing but trepidation.

But he was an actor after all. He was going to have to make the next few months the greatest performance of his life. Which is why he told Rachel he'd come with her to drop off his stuff at Blaine's apartment. He needed to get reacquainted with everything before he had to pretend he'd been living there for the past three years.

"When do Sam and Mercedes get in?" Rachel questioned, trying her best to make casual conversation as she read the tense way Kurt was holding himself.

"Tomorrow," Kurt responded. "They're going to stay at my place since I'll be at B-Blaine's."

"What'd Mercedes say when you told her you were moving in with Blaine?"

Kurt gave her a disbelieving look. "I didn't tell her."

Rachel side-eyed him for a minute before she said, "That was probably a good idea."

Mercedes had not taken Kurt and Blaine's breakup well. She was Kurt's oldest friend, and therefore she always had his back…whether he was wrong or right. When Kurt had told her that he'd walked in on Blaine and Sebastian—which had lead to Kurt endlessly speculating about what else they'd done behind his back—Mercedes had gone apeshit. Sam later told him that after Kurt's divorce he'd found Mercedes sitting in their car, muttering something about cutting Blaine's cheating dick off. Sam had calmly taken the key out of the ignition, not letting her drive anywhere for a week afterward. Considering Mercedes once threw a rock through Kurt's car window because she'd mistakenly thought they were dating, he'd been half amused, half relieved that Blaine never had to face her wrath.

And Mercedes wasn't the only one Kurt had avoided telling the truth to. His dad and Carol were supposed to see the show the previous weekend, but Burt had been called into an emergency committee meeting at the last minute. It had been a relief to Kurt to not have to tell his father that Blaine was back in his life. But that was a conversation that would happen soon enough when Burt and Carol finally came to New York.

The elevator door opened and Kurt took a weary step forward. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Rachel reached in the jacket of his coat and pulled out the apartment key that Cooper had given him. As they reached Blaine's door, she raised an eyebrow at Kurt who gave a shaky nod. Rachel inserted the key and disappeared inside. Closing his eyes briefly, Kurt followed. He took two steps in and stopped.

It looked the same.

It looked _exactly_ the same.

Kurt placed his suitcase on the hallway floor and glanced into the kitchen. This room had always been his domain and to his surprise, Blaine left it exactly how Kurt designed it. The same magnet memo pad hung on the fridge. The same brand of soap sat on the kitchen counter even though Blaine had often complained to Kurt that it was too sweet smelling. Kurt backed out of the room and walked down the hallway.

Familiar pictures hung on the walls…pictures of Kurt and Blaine's wedding day and vacations over the years. There were even a few of them from their prom and high school and college graduations. Kurt's favorite—one of them on a beach in Hawaii with the sun setting behind them as they stared at each other—was the main focal point. Kurt had originally hung the picture with care because the memory of that particular vacation—their honeymoon—had always had a special place in his heart.

Kurt pulled his eyes away and headed into the living room. In this aspect only one thing had changed since the last time Kurt was there. Sometime in the past three years, Blaine had changed the couch he'd been caught kissing Sebastian on. Before there had been an oatmeal colored leather couch which Kurt had picked out. Now there was a hunter green piece. Otherwise, the apartment seemed like it was frozen in some freaky time warp.

"Why?" Kurt questioned and Rachel had the good grace to not even pretend she didn't know what Kurt was asking.

"I don't know," she said. "I once suggested he at least repaint the place, but he said there was no point since he was hardly here anymore because of his job. But…"

Rachel stopped talking and pressed her lips together, going over to a table and running a finger over the edge. She wrinkled her nose when she saw the dust on her finger.

"But?" Kurt encouraged.

Rachel shrugged. "I think he missed you and he came here when he wanted to feel close to you again."

Kurt glanced around but couldn't focus on anything for too long. Swallowing over the painful lump that had suddenly formed in his throat he said, "But…Blaine must have had a boyfriend over the years. I can't believe they would have accepted pictures of me everywhere."

Kurt was hinting—heavily. He found himself suddenly growing more curious about how his ex spent the past few years away from him. Not that it was his business, of course.

Rachel snorted as she came over to him. "Blaine doesn't have boyfriends. He has one night stands and even those aren't very often." Some reaction must have shown on Kurt's face because Rachel's eyes narrowed. "Kurt, he tried to move on. Just like you, remember? And before you judge him too harshly, you have Nelson. Then there was Paul before him."

Paul was a British actor Kurt had dated the year before. They had been together six months before Paul got cast in a West End play and went back to London. The sex had been decent—not mind blowing—but decent. But as with Nelson, the relationship had left Kurt feeling empty and he hardly mourned it when things ended.

"I…I should unpack," Kurt finally said. "Speaking of Nelson, I've got a date with him tonight. I don't want to keep him waiting."

Rachel nodded and went into the hall to retrieve Kurt's suitcase. Together they went into Blaine's bedroom. Kurt kept his eyes averted from the bed as he opened up the closest door. He half expected his former side of the closet to be empty—preserved in time like the rest of the apartment—but Blaine was utilizing the entire space, his clothes hanging haphazardly from hangers.

He pushed the clothes to Blaine's side and grabbed a shirt out of his bag and hung it up. He worked methodically as Rachel excused herself to go vacuum and dust despite the fact that Blaine most likely had someone who would do that once he got out of the hospital. An hour later they were done and Kurt's stuff was put away.

"You okay?" Rachel asked as they rode the elevator down to the lobby.

"Yeah…fine," Kurt replied. He ignored the concerned looks she was giving him as he pulled his cell phone out and dialed Nelson's number. They arranged to meet at a restaurant close to the theatre and ended their call.

"I'll see you in a couple hours for the show," Kurt said to Rachel. "Thanks again for your help."

"No problem." She gave him a brief hug before hailing a cab. Kurt got his own cab and took it to the restaurant. Nelson arrived shortly after he did.

"Hey," the tall blond said, giving Kurt a brief kiss on the lips.

"Hi yourself," he said as they went inside the building. They were seated immediately and placed their order, making small talk until their food arrived. As they ate, Kurt could feel himself relaxing for the first time all day.

"So I was thinking…" Nelson said slowly after they finished their meal. Kurt's stomach instantly clenched in dread. "Why don't you come over after the show tonight?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Kurt answered cautiously. "I've got two shows tomorrow and I've got to get up really early. Blaine's getting released from the hospital and I told his brother I'd help get him home."

He had only told Nelson the basic background of his relationship with Blaine. That they had known each other since high school but had drifted apart over recent years.

"Why you?" Nelson questioned, sounding disgruntled.

"As I've already explained to you," Kurt replied as patiently as he could. "Cooper's leaving town soon and Blaine doesn't have anyone else in New York."

"There's Rachel."

"Who wouldn't be able lift Blaine if he needed help out of a chair," Kurt said curtly.

"I just don't understand why you can't come over tonight?" Nelson muttered, playing with his wine glass.

"There's more to a relationship than sex!" Kurt snapped, finally fed up with Nelson's petulant attitude.

"You think that's what this is about?" Nelson replied angrily. "We've been dating three months, we finally have mind blowing sex—" Kurt barely refrained from rolling his eyes "—and yet you still push me away. It's like there's this constant barrier between us and you have no intention of ever letting me in. I mean, do you want this relationship or not?"

Kurt stared at Nelson and felt a strange sense of relief settle over him.

"You're right," he finally said. "This isn't working. Nelson, you are a wonderful man and someday you're going to make some guy very happy—"

"Kurt, I didn't mean—" Nelson interrupted, panic in his eyes, but Kurt held up a hand and stopped him.

"The truth is…Blaine isn't just some friend. He's my ex-husband, and I'm going to move back in with him until he's recovered from his injuries. I already moved my stuff back to his place today."

Nelson stiffened, betrayal twisting his handsome face, but Kurt continued. "You were also right when you said there's been a barrier between us. There…there's a reason I can't let you in and you deserve better. You deserve someone who can give you his heart—his whole heart. That's not me. The thing is, Nelson, as cheesy and cliché as it sounds, I lost my heart a long time ago and I never got it back."

This was said a lot more bitterly. Sighing resignedly, Kurt pulled money out of his wallet and placed it on the table.

Standing up, he said, "Thank you. For being so good to me even though I didn't deserve it."

He started to go by Nelson, but the other man grabbed his arm and turned pleading eyes up to Kurt.

"Maybe I could help you find your heart," he whispered and Kurt felt tears sting his eyes. He leaned down and kissed Nelson softly on the lips before pulling back slightly.

"Goodbye Nelson," he said with a finality Nelson couldn't mistake.

Kurt walked out of the restaurant and headed for the theatre. He was never more grateful to step out onto the stage than he was a couple hours later. Nothing made him forget his own problems quicker than stepping into someone else's shoes. By the time he got home that night, he was completely exhausted and fell into a deep sleep.

After Kurt woke up the next morning and got ready for the day, he was strangely calm as he headed over to the hospital. When he walked into Blaine's room, his ex was already waiting for him. He was wearing a t-shirt that molded his tight abs and dark sweats that did nothing to hide the body beneath. The pant on his right leg had been cut off to make room for the cast. The bandage on his head had been removed earlier in the week. The stitches Blaine had received had also been removed, leaving an ugly line on his forehead, but it was already healing.

"Hi," Kurt said, making Blaine jump slightly in surprise. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, it's okay. I was just lost in thought," he replied, smiling at Kurt.

"You ready to go?" Kurt asked.

Blaine nodded eagerly. "Cooper's checking me out right now."

Kurt grinned as he sat on the edge of the bed. He reached out and ran a finger across the scar on Blaine's forehead before moving his knuckles to brush against the older one on the other side of his face.

"You're beginning to resemble Frankenstein."

Blaine grabbed his hand where it still rested against his cheek and kissed the back of it causing Kurt's heart to skip. "But I'm still cute, right?"

"Adorable," Kurt responded dryly before pulling his hand away. "So let's talk about the agenda today."

"Okay," Blaine said, his hand moving to his side where he massaged his broken ribs with a wince.

"You know I've got two performances today, right?"

"Yeah, you told me earlier this week," Blaine said not meeting Kurt's eyes. Kurt had brought it up during one of his infrequent visits.

"Sam and Mercedes are coming to the show tonight. I'm going to meet up with them after the matinee and grab dinner before the evening performance. So I'll be home after the last show."

"Why don't you have them come over to our place for dinner?" Blaine suggested. "It'd be great to see them again."

Kurt shook his head. He really didn't think it'd be a good idea to put Mercedes and Blaine in the same room together.

"I won't have time to return to the apartment, eat dinner, and get back to the theatre. But you won't be alone. Cooper will be there—"

"Actually I won't," Cooper stated, entering the room and giving Kurt an accusing look. "Kurt, how nice of you to join us."

"Coop…" Blaine said in a warning tone.

"I'm going to help Blaine get home, but then I've got to get the redeye out of here," Cooper explained before glaring at Kurt. "I thought you were going to be home today."

"I can't very well ask Jesse to use my understudy already. We just opened last week."

"It's fine," Blaine interjected. "I'm a big boy. I can stay by myself."

"No," Cooper and Kurt said in unison.

"Be reasonable, little brother," Cooper said. "Your ribs are hurting you like a bitch, which means you can't use your crutches yet, and you're recovering from a head injury. The doctors are only releasing you this early because we said you'd have someone at home with you." Cooper ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Let me give the home care people a call and see if they can send the nurse over today."

He stormed out of the room leaving Kurt and Blaine in awkward silence before Blaine let out an unnatural laugh.

"That's Cooper for you. Always with the dramatic exits."

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, not looking at Blaine. "I knew he was leaving soon but I didn't realize it was today."

"It's fine," Blaine replied. "It's not a problem."

"It's not fine," Kurt retorted. "It's your first day back from the hospital. You shouldn't be alone."

"Kurt, I know you're busy and people are depending on you. You don't need to babysit me until I'm back on my feet."

Kurt looked at Blaine, saw nothing but understanding and support in his eyes, and felt his heart clench.

_You dammed heart. Of course you would react now that you're near Blaine._

But it made sense seeing as Blaine had owned it since they'd first met on the stairs at Dalton.

Despite his confusion, Kurt reached out and interlocked his fingers with Blaine's. "I'll make it up to you."

"Is that a promise?" Blaine's voice turned sensual. "Kiss me and make me believe it." He sat up slowly, flinching slightly from his ribs.

"You're hurting yourself," Kurt murmured even as he leaned in closer.

"It's worth it," Blaine told him, his eyes lingering on Kurt's mouth.

"You're an idiot."

"But I'm _your_ idiot," Blaine replied, so close now his breath caressed Kurt's lips.

"The nurse is all set—" Cooper announced as he entered the room causing the boys to jerk apart.

"Fuck!" Blaine bit out, his hand shooting to his side.

"Oops…sorry. Didn't know I was interrupting anything," Cooper said with a smug look.

"You weren't," Kurt replied getting hurriedly off the bed. "Did you get the nurse organized?"

"Yep, the agency is sending someone over to your place in an hour."

Kurt's stomach did a little jump at _your place_ , but an orderly came in with a wheelchair at that moment, giving Kurt a much needed distraction. After some careful maneuvering, Blaine was able to get in the chair. They were taken down a private entrance to avoid Cooper's fans and left through an employee exit for maximum security. A limo was waiting for them outdoors.

Once they were settled inside, the brothers joked back and forth as they made their way to the apartment. Kurt was amazed at the easy camaraderie between them. Cooper must have worked miracles the past week to get the two of them back on such easy footing. As they pulled up to the apartment complex, Cooper's personal assistant was waiting outside with another wheelchair. Once Blaine was situated, Cooper pushed him while Kurt grabbed his overnight bag. They rode the elevator up and entered the apartment, stopping once they reached the living room.

"I see we bought a new couch," Blaine said to Kurt with a nod toward the furniture.

"Yeah, the other one was—umm—ruined," Kurt stumbled. But wasn't that the truth.

Blaine frowned at it and Kurt held his breath, wondering if this would trigger his memory, but then Blaine's face relaxed and he continued to let his gaze wander. Kurt went into the bedroom and placed Blaine's bag in the closet. He'd unpack it later. When he came back out, Cooper and Blaine were talking quietly together. The conversation stopped when they saw Kurt.

"Well, I need to get going," Cooper said as he glanced at his watch. He bent down to Blaine and gave him a hug. "You take care of yourself, Squirt."

"I hate when you call me that," Blaine grumbled lightheartedly.

Cooper snickered before he kissed Blaine on top of his head. "You need anything, you call me." He looked over at Kurt. "Same with you, Kurt. You still have my number, right?"

"Yep," Kurt affirmed.

"Okay…I'll call you when I get to Morocco. Love you, baby brother."

"I love you, too," Blaine replied. "Thanks for everything, Coop."

Cooper nodded and then with one last hug for Blaine he was gone, leaving Kurt and Blaine truly alone for the first time in three years. Granted, they had been together at the hospital, but there had always been nurses and doctors nearby.

"Do you want—"

"So I was—"

They started talking at the same time and stopped.

"Sorry," Blaine said. "What were you going to say?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted anything. Pain pill? Bathroom?"

"No, I'm good," he answered. Another awkward silence fell between them.

 _Get a grip. This is Blaine. You've know him forever,_ an inner voice said.

 _This is also the man who devastated your heart_ , another voice whispered. Like he needed reminding of that.

"Well, I should get you settled somewhere," Kurt stated. "I've got to get going soon."

"Oh…right," Blaine replied, looking disappointed. "I guess I can take it easy in the bedroom."

"Sure," Kurt said, going behind Blaine's chair and pushing him toward the other room. He had to maneuver around a large statue that Kurt had picked out years ago. "We'll have to make this place a little more wheelchair accessible."

"Nah, it's good. A couple more weeks and I won't need the chair."

They entered the room and Kurt parked the wheelchair next to the bed, putting the brake on. Leaning down, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's neck bringing them within kissing distance. Kurt tried his best to ignore that fact.

"On the count of three," Kurt said and Blaine nodded. "One…two…three."

He lifted Blaine out of the chair and sat him on the edge of the bed. Blaine grunted slightly as the landing jarred his side.

"Okay?" Kurt asked in concern.

"Okay," he answered with a wince. Kurt moved the chair out of the way and came back to the bed just as Blaine was struggling to get his legs on it.

"Let me help you," Kurt offered, carefully lifting the leg with the heavy cast onto the mattress.

"I hate this," Blaine muttered. "I hate being helpless."

"It's only temporary. Once your ribs heal completely, you'll be a lot more mobile."

He could feel Blaine's eyes on him as he grabbed a spare pillow and placed it carefully under Blaine's cast.

"Are you good?" Kurt asked as he stepped back to admire his ministrations.

"Actually…could you help me move more towards the middle of the bed?" Blaine asked, lifting his arms toward Kurt again.

"Sure," Kurt replied. With the slightest of pauses, he moved Blaine's injured leg slightly over, widening the space between his legs. Kurt put his knee between Blaine's and then placed his other one on the outside of Blaine's hip. He let Blaine wrap his arms around his neck and was about to place his hands on Blaine's waist to lift him when he was suddenly tugged down. With a shriek, he lost his balance and fell on top of the other man, moving at the last second so that he didn't land on Blaine's injured side.

"You idiot, I could have hurt you," Kurt yelled.

"You know, that's the second time you've called me that today. It's kind of sexy."

Kurt rolled his eyes, his anger disappearing. "That's the Vicodin talking." His face turned serious as he looked between their bodies for damage, becoming suddenly aware that his groin was now pressing into Blaine's left thigh.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked anxiously.

"No," Blaine answered. Something in his voice made Kurt's face heat. And that was before Blaine raised his good leg causing Kurt's lower half to glide against him. Kurt closed his eyes at the friction it created. When he realized he was starting to react, he tried to get off Blaine, but Blaine's arms were like a vice around him. Kurt couldn't move without hurting him.

"Well…isn't this a compromising position," Blaine said slyly.

"You set me up," Kurt accused and Blaine grinned widely.

"Yes, I did," he replied honestly, his hand doing slow circles on Kurt's lower back. His other hand moved up to cup Kurt's neck. They stared at each other for a moment before Blaine closed the distance and took Kurt's lower lip in his mouth, sucking on its fullness. Kurt did his best not to react and Blaine noticed.

"Kiss me back, Kurt," he whispered.

"You're injured. We can't do this."

"I bet you we can," Blaine challenged with a husky chuckle that was like a shot of desire to Kurt's system.

Blaine began to kiss Kurt's neck, lightly grazing his teeth along Kurt's pulse line. Kurt's eyes rolled in his head as Blaine's mouth brushed against a particularly sensitive part of his skin. He felt Blaine smile again his flesh. On their own accord, Kurt's hips started to move back and forth against Blaine who encouraged it by grabbing Kurt's ass and pressing him even harder against him.

Blaine's nose settled into the area where Kurt's neck and jaw met. He inhaled sharply and Kurt felt him shudder against him.

"God, I missed you," Blaine muttered before his mouth lightly kissed the underside of Kurt's chin.

Kurt was so lost in the sensual haze Blaine created it took him a couple of seconds to comprehend what Blaine actually said. When he did, he froze before pulling back.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"What?" Blaine responded, the desire in his eyes so thick Kurt almost forgot his own name let alone the question he'd just asked.

Forcing himself to focus he said, "You said you missed me…what did you mean by that?"

Blaine's eyes fluttered half closed so that Kurt couldn't read them. "What did you think I meant?"

Kurt moved off Blaine so that he was sitting on his knees. With his stomach in knots he said, "Blaine…do you remember?"

That brought Blaine's eyes to his. "Remember what, Kurt?"

Kurt could see the confusion on his ex's face and that's when it dawned on him.

He was fooling around with his ex-husband on his ex-bed in his ex-apartment.

Jumping off the bed, he said, "It doesn't matter. I just don't get why you said you missed me."

Blaine shrugged. "You've been so distant since the accident, it was good to have you back in my arms. That's all I meant."

Kurt was about to say more, but he noticed Blaine's sudden paleness. "Do you need your pain pills?"

"Yeah, maybe one would be good."

"I'll be right back," Kurt replied. He went into the closet to get Blaine's pills out of his bag and then he went into the kitchen for some water. Before he could grab a glass out of the cupboard, he put his hands on the counter and closed his eyes.

"What the fuck were you doing?" he cursed himself. With a heavy sigh, he opened his eyes and was about to reach for a glass when there was a knock on the door. Frowning he went to answer it. His jaw dropped slightly at the visitor on the other side of the door.

Before him was a golden Adonis. The man was six-four of pure muscle with reddish blond hair and eyes the color of seawater. He was so beautiful Kurt had to remember to breathe. And that was with Kurt's gaydar going off louder than a tornado siren.

"Can I…" Kurt squeaked and had to take a second to control his voice. "Can I help you?"

"My name is Rome," the man said. Well, of course it was. Rome looked at Kurt expectantly. When Kurt just stared at him like a teenager meeting their favorite heartthrob, Rome's eyebrows lifted. "You requested a nurse?"

Kurt's face turned into an instant scowl. This was who Cooper hired? _That son of a_ _bitch_!

"You're the nurse?"

"Yes," Rome said, his eyes skimming over Kurt in a professional manner. "I take it you're not Blaine."

"My husband's in the bedroom resting," Kurt replied, not even realizing what he'd called Blaine.

 

"Oh…" Rome answered, shifting uncomfortably under Kurt's gaze. "So…can I come in?"

"What? Oh—sure," Kurt said, stepping back. Rome went by Kurt confidently—Jesus, even his walk was sexy—and headed for the living room.

"I was just about to get Blaine a pain pill," Kurt explained.

"You want me to get it for him?"

"No," Kurt responded quickly. "I've got it."

He grabbed the glass and pill and went back in the bedroom, plastering a smile on his face as he entered the room. Rome followed him.

"Blaine, your nurse has arrived," Kurt announced as he set the pill and glass on the bedside table. "Rome, this is Blaine. Blaine, Rome."

"Hello," Rome said, going over to Blaine and shaking his hand. Kurt watched Blaine's reaction carefully. He smiled, but there was nothing overly flirtatious about it. If he was bold over by Rome's looks, he covered it well.

"Actually, I'm only your temporary nurse," Rome explained. "The nurse Mr. Anderson requested wasn't available to start on such short notice, but she'll be here tomorrow."

The jealousy kicking Kurt in the stomach disappeared at that announcement. He listened to Rome and Blaine talk about their schedule for the day all the while staring at Blaine whenever he thought he could get away with it. Rome eventually excused himself to check out the supplies in the kitchen.

"You can stop hovering now," Blaine said in amusement after the other man left.

"I wasn't hovering," Kurt replied waspishly even as he took a step away from the bed.

Blaine smirked before his face turned serious. "Don't you know by now, Kurt? You're it for me."

Kurt wasn't prepared for the sharp sadness that hit him upon hearing those words.

If only that had been true.


	5. Chapter 5

"You okay?" Rachel asked after the curtain closed and Kurt turned to hurry off stage.

"Fine," he replied, walking briskly towards his dressing room.

"Cause you seemed a little distracted," she said trailing after him.

"I'm fine," Kurt repeated.

"You missed a cue and you stumbled over a couple of lines," Rachel lectured. "That's not like you."

Kurt stopped abruptly outside his dressing room. "Look, I'm sorry I messed up today. It won't happen again. Okay?"

"Kurt…I'm just worried about you."

"Why would you be worried?" Kurt asked sarcastically. "Everything is just peachy. I'm living with my ex-husband who doesn't have a clue that we're not together because he cheated on me. Oh and I left him alone with a gay man who's too hot to be legal. So why should you be worried about me?"

Rachel's eyebrows rose. "But why should you care if Blaine's hanging out with a hot guy? You just said you aren't together." Rachel's face turned knowing and Kurt internally groaned. "You're not jealous, are you, Kurt? Cause jealously implies emotions you claim you don't feel for Blaine anymore."

"What? No," Kurt snapped. "I'm frustrated with my life. Don't go looking for shit that's not there. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get changed so we can meet up with Sam and Mercedes."

He opened his dressing room and shut the door firmly in Rachel's face before collapsing against it. Today's performance had been a disaster by his standards. He had just been so _off_. And if he felt that way, he could only imagine what Jesse would have to say.

 _Are you jealous?_ Rachel's question echoed in his head.

_Yes._

He was jealous. And he hated the feeling. Especially when it came to Blaine.

But jealousy was something that went hand in hand for Kurt Hummel. He'd dealt with it since he was a kid. Despite the self-confidence he pretended to exude, Kurt's jealousy was rooted in his biggest character flaw—insecurity.

Though he loved his dad and he had no doubt his dad loved him in return, sometimes in the darkest recesses of Kurt's mind, he wondered if his father wished he'd been more like Finn—straight, married, with a baby on the way. A baby that didn't have to be created in a Petri dish.

The same insecurities plagued him with his career. It started in high school with Mr. Shue always choosing Rachel for the songs Kurt coveted. Then there had been the disaster of West Side Story and overhearing that he was basically too gay for the role of Tony.

After all, he wasn't Blaine. He wasn't the Alpha gay. And though his dad had told him to go after the roles that were unique like him, it still gnawed at him that he couldn't get any role his heart desired.

But where his self-doubt came out the worst was in the matters of the heart. He had always loved the wrong man. First with Finn and then with Sam. Kurt had thought he'd finally struck gold when he met Blaine.

Blaine was sexy, confident…and more importantly single and gay. But even Blaine hadn't wanted him at first, choosing instead some guy at the Gap. Hell, he'd even pursued Rachel, preferring to deny his sexuality than facing the alternative—the alternative being seeing Kurt as a romantic interest. It had hurt.

So much so that Kurt couldn't believe it when Blaine had finally admitted that he'd fallen in love with him. He honestly couldn't. Good things didn't happen to Kurt Hummel—and Blaine was a very good thing.

And they were happy together. Blaine had been the perfect boyfriend, shooting down his own fears of the past to ask Kurt to dance with him at prom—despite the fact that the school had just demonstrated their homophobia by electing Kurt as prom queen. Then Blaine transferred to McKinley the following year, giving Kurt the magical senior year he'd wanted. Kurt had been so happy for the first time in his life because he had a love he could believe in.

Then Sebastian happened.

Kurt wasn't blind or stupid. He knew that Blaine was attracted to him. And on some level he accepted it. After all, Kurt found other people attractive all the time—a night school Spanish teacher, Taylor Lautner before he got fat. He even drooled over Cooper the first time he met him. It was human nature. Humans found other humans attractive. As long as you never acted on it, you were fine.

Kurt never doubted Blaine's faithfulness. Even in high school when Blaine talked to Sebastian all the time on the phone and in texts, Kurt knew Blaine's loyalties were to him. Sure he'd been jealous of their friendship, but Blaine had told him often enough that he didn't care for Sebastian in _that_ way. He always let Kurt know that he was the love of his life. And Kurt believed him. He believed in their love.

Not that Sebastian didn't try his best to get in the way of their relationship. He always made sure to let Kurt know how much time Blaine spent talking to him. When Kurt went to school in New York, Blaine and Sebastian hung out all the time back in Ohio…and still Kurt never doubted him.

He trusted Blaine.

Sebastian he didn't trust for shit. Especially as he made no secret that he wanted Blaine. Blaine was the only guy who'd ever turned him down. And maybe over the years Sebastian developed real feelings for him instead of looking at him as a possible quick fuck.

So once Sebastian saw an opening, he went for it. As soon as the cracks in Kurt and Blaine's marriage started to form, he was there, chipping away at them until they got a little deeper, dropping hints to Kurt whenever Blaine wasn't around that there was more going on between them than mere friendship.

Kurt refused to believe it at first despite the many times he'd come home late from working at the restaurant to find Blaine and Sebastian hanging out, Blaine's cold eyes barely acknowledging Kurt's presence. He'd begun to lose count of how many times he'd arrive home from an audition only to find a message from Blaine that he was working late at his studio—in other words, working on a project for Sebastian. It was Sebastian's connections to the fashion industry that pretty much gave Blaine his career. Sebastian's employer was a top designer and he made sure his boss used Blaine exclusively as their photographer. Pretty soon other designers were requesting Blaine as well and Blaine's career skyrocketed—all thanks to Sebastian Smythe.

But a successful career was Kurt's dream not Blaine's. Blaine only wanted one thing. Something he'd never had growing up—a loving family. He wanted children. Kids he could shower all the love and acceptance on that he was never given growing up. The more determined Kurt became in his career, the more determined Blaine became to not put his own dreams on hold.

Discussions turned into heated conversations. Heated conversations turned in hideous arguments. It got to the point where they couldn't even be in the same room with each other without fighting. The only way they communicated during the last year of their marriage was in the bedroom. Their arguing usually ended in angry sex which left them both feeling ashamed and empty. Half the time Blaine slept in the spare room or on the couch.

It was one of the worst times in Kurt's life. The more distant Blaine became, the more Kurt's insecurities surfaced. His lack of self-worth was what had driven him so hard in his career. Because just once he wanted to shine. It wasn't so much his determination to see his name in the bright lights of Broadway. It was the satisfaction of knowing he was finally accepted.

Of course, once one role came in, it wasn't enough. Blaine had been right when he'd accused Kurt of never being satisfied in his career. It became his addiction—the only thing he focused on. And with it he pushed everyone away to get what he needed—what he craved. Including the one person who mattered to him most…Blaine.

But despite the destruction of his marriage, Kurt was still hopeful. What happened between him and Blaine made him take a good long look at his life choices. He realized there was one thing he needed more than his career. He wanted what his dad and Carol had. He wanted what Sam and Mercedes and Finn and Marcy had. He wanted someone he could grow old with—someone he could love. He was ready for that now. He had the career. He wanted the happy ever after now.

It hurt that that person wouldn't be Blaine. For too long he was the only one Kurt could picture in that role. But there was too much water under the bridge between them.

He could have looked the other way if it had just been the fighting. What he couldn't overlook was the cheating. He'd ignored all of Sebastian's innuendos over the years, but seeing Blaine in Sebastian's arms, kissing him the way he used to kiss Kurt, brought everything to light.

And Blaine never denied the affair.

During one of Rachel's many attempts to get Blaine and him talking, Kurt flat out asked him if he'd ever slept with Sebastian. Blaine hadn't said anything. Then again he didn't have to. His expression had said enough. His face was devastated, his tear filled eyes not meeting Kurt's. He'd gotten up from the restaurant table without another word, and they hadn't talk again until the day of their divorce.

So no, Blaine wasn't a factor in Kurt's future. He would just have to keep searching for someone else. And this time, he wouldn't fuck it up. Somewhere out in the world, there was a guy who was going to love him first. Not some Gap guy. Not Rachel. Certainly not Sebastian fucking Smythe. But him. And this guy wouldn't make him feel unworthy or like a second choice. Kurt was ready and eager for it. He just needed to find a way to let Blaine go first. And then he could get his happy ending.

The thing was…how did he find the magic cure to let Blaine go? Because when the going was good between them, Blaine never made him feel like a last resort.

He made him feel like a king.

And when they were happy together…they were ecstatic. Kurt frowned as he stared across the dressing room. He didn't want to fall under Blaine's spell again, but he could already feel it happening. He wanted to be near him all the time. He wanted to see him laugh and smell his delicious scent.

He also felt those cursed insecurities trying to push their way front and center. The self-doubt. The second guessing. The jealousy. No—he needed to let Blaine go and move on. And maybe someday, they could learn to be friends again—after Blaine got his memory back, that was. But first…Kurt needed to make sure he was okay.

He glanced at his bag which was next to the vanity. Kurt went to it, pulled out his cell phone, and began dialing. He chewed on his inner cheek as he waited for Blaine to respond.

"Hello," the call was finally answered, laughter in Blaine's voice.

"It's Kurt," he announced. "How's it going with Rome?"

"Good. We're watching _The Replacements_."

Kurt pursed his lips. Well, wasn't that fan-fucking-tastic. Rome was hot and he liked football movies. He and Blaine probably had _so_ much in common. _Kill me now._

 _Stop it!_ Another voice said. _This is exactly how you don't want to act, remember?_

Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Well, that's good. I just wanted to make sure you were doing all right. I'll let you go."

"Kurt, wait—"

Kurt paused but didn't end the call. He could hear Blaine's faint breathing in the phone, noise from the television, and Rome laughing in the background.

"Are you there?" Blaine asked, his voice soft.

"Yeah, I'm still here."

"How'd the show go?"

Kurt fought back a sudden urge to cry. The conversation was so normal. Just like a married couple.

"It was all right. I missed a cue and Rachel tried to read me the riot act."

"Forget her," Blaine replied sympathetically. "You'll nail the performance tonight."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you're you. You don't make the same mistake twice."

Awkward silence followed that statement.

"I should let you go," Kurt finally said and he heard Blaine suck in a breath. "Mercedes and Sam will be here any second."

Blaine exhaled and said lightly, "Okay, I'll see you later."

"All right. And thanks Blaine."

"You're welcome."

The call disconnected but Kurt still held the phone to his ear, not quite willing to let go. A pounding on the door jarred him out of his stupor and he turned to open it. Jesse was on the other side and immediately started yelling at Kurt for his sluggish performance. After ten minutes, he finally left and Kurt hurried to get out of his costume so he could get dressed. He was just finishing up his hair when there was another knock on the door.

"Come in," he shouted and a familiar form entered the room.

"Not too shabby," Mercedes announced, glancing around the deluxe dressing room. "A little dated but it'll do."

Kurt's face broke out into a huge grin as he rushed to hug his oldest friend. "I'm glad it meets your standards."

"You know I'm just giving you shit, right?" Mercedes replied as she squeezed him close. "This place is fantastic and I couldn't be prouder of you, Kurt."

He pulled back and clasped her cheeks in his hands. "Thanks honey." He let go and glanced around. "So where's Sam?"

"The midget grabbed him and is currently boring him with stories of how fabulous she is."

Kurt chuckled. "And how are my girls?"

"Good," Mercedes said, grabbing his hand as he led her out of the room. "Star's excited to spend some time with her grandparents. Skye was a little weepy and kept crying for her momma as we were pulling out."

"With names like that who could blame her," Kurt snickered and Mercedes poked him in the side.

"Hey someday people are gonna have to look up to see my babies. They might as well have names that fit their destiny."

Kurt rolled his eyes even as he slung an arm around Mercedes' shoulder. They walked toward the now deserted theatre where they could hear Rachel giving Sam a rundown of the different positive reviews she received so far for the show. Sam had a clear "help me" expression on his face and looked relieved when he finally spotted his wife and Kurt. He left Rachel mid-speech and walked over to them and giving Kurt a brief hug.

"Hey man, great to see you," he said as he pulled back and wrapped his arm around Mercedes' waist.

"You too. You didn't have any trouble getting into the apartment, did you?" Kurt asked.

"Nah, we got the key from the doorman," Mercedes explained. "Thanks again for letting us stay at your place."

Kurt shrugged. "There's no point in you shelling out a bunch of money for a hotel when my place is available."

"Where are you staying anyway?" Sam asked curiously and Kurt shifted uncomfortably as Rachel snorted.

Mercedes and Sam looked from one to the other before Mercedes said, "Okay, what's going on? I know you said you were helping out a friend. Did you move in with Nelson or something?"

"No—uh—Nelson and I broke up," Kurt admitted.

"What? You didn't tell me that," Rachel said. "When?"

"We ended it last night," Kurt muttered

"So who are you helping?" Mercedes questioned.

Kurt eyed the grip Sam had on Mercedes before he took a deep breath and said, "It's Blaine."

There was two seconds of quiet before Mercedes erupted. "Have you lost your dammed mind?"

"He's injured, okay?" Kurt tried to explain. "He was mugged and hit his head. He's suffering from amnesia."

"And you have to be the one to help him?" Mercedes screeched. "Do you remember what he did to you?"

"Mercedes—" Sam warned lowly but Kurt didn't let him finish.

"I remember perfectly, thank you very much. This is a temporary situation until he gets his memory back."

"Hold up," Sam said. "What do you mean?"

"He's forgotten the past five years. He doesn't remember that we're divorced."

"So he says," Mercedes snipped and Kurt thought back to earlier when Blaine said how much he missed him. Mercedes must have read something in his expression because she instantly attacked. "See, even you don't believe him."

"I never said that," Kurt snapped. "Why would Blaine lie?"

"Why indeed," Rachel butted in.

"Shut it, shrimp," Mercedes retorted. "You've always had a blind spot for Blaine ever since you macked on him at that drunk fest you threw in high school."

"The doctors are the ones who said that Blaine has amnesia," Rachel said indignantly. "You think he could have fooled the doctors?"

"It wouldn't be the first time doctors fell for a patient's lie."

"Enough," Kurt interrupted. He turned to Rachel. "Why don't you show Sam the prop room?"

She opened her mouth to refuse but Kurt gave her his best bitchface. She looked resignedly at Sam. "Shall we?"

Sam looked from his wife to Kurt before slowly nodding. He offered her his arm and they were off.

Kurt turned to Mercedes who was standing with her arms folded over her chest. Before he could say anything, Mercedes asked, "Kurt, what are you thinking?"

"Look, I appreciate your concern, but I'm a big boy. I can handle this."

Mercedes shook her head. "I was there, remember? I saw what he did to you before. And I'm saying this with all the love in my heart. Run. Run as fast as your legs can carry you."

Kurt smiled at her as he felt his heart warm. "You always have my back."

"And I always will. Which is why while you're running, I'm gonna to cut Blaine's cheating dick off."

"But it's such a nice dick," Kurt murmured without thought. Mercedes eyes widened and Kurt realized what he'd said. "I mean—can you just not do Blaine any bodily harm while he's in my care?"

Mercedes sighed dramatically. "Can I at least cut off Sebastian's?"

"Nah, it's probably already fallen off from disease anyway."

Mercedes giggled before she turned serious. "I don't trust this, Kurt. I just want you to be careful."

"I will," Kurt replied. "He's not going to get to me. I promise."

"He always gets to you. That's why I'm worried," she muttered.

Sam and Rachel chose to stop eavesdropping at that moment and came back out on the stage. The four went out to dinner before the evening show. Kurt knew Mercedes was watching him closely throughout the meal, but she didn't bring Blaine up again. When they got back to the theatre, Kurt was able to focus fully on his performance, losing himself in the character. By the time the curtain drew to a close, he didn't need Rachel's glowing smile to tell him he was back in form.

Afterwards, they went out to a bar down the street where Mercedes and Sam talked excitedly about the show, their praises pure pleasure to Kurt's ears. But as much as he was enjoying this time with his friends, he was aware of a nagging at the back of his neck. More than once, he found himself checking the time.

"It's still ten to midnight, Kurt," Mercedes said in exasperation. "I'm sure the time hasn't changed much in the last ten seconds since you checked."

"I'm sorry," Kurt stated, standing up. "I need to get going. The nurse has been there all day and I'm sure he wants to go home."

Rachel smirked at him which he ignored. Sam waved goodbye as he cuddled his wife closer. Mercedes gazed at him anxiously.

"I'll be fine, Mercedes," he assured her.

She gave a slight shrug. "Okay then. But don't forget that I'm only a phone call away if you need me."

He bent down and hugged her close before doing the same to Sam and Rachel. Stepping outside, he hailed a cab and headed back to Blaine's place. His stomach tightened apprehensively as the elevator took him up to the apartment.

What would he find when he walked in? Rome was a nurse. If he and Blaine wanted to have sex, Rome would know how to get around the injuries.

"Jesus. Paranoid much?" Kurt muttered to himself as he stepped out of the lift and walked towards the apartment door. He unlocked it and stepped inside, his nerves wreaking havoc as he made his way to the living room.

He stopped when he entered the room, his eyebrows rising. Rome was sitting in the armchair, his feet resting on the glass table in front of him with his eyes glued to the TV. Blaine was sleeping on the couch, a blanket thrown over him. A bowl of popcorn was resting on the floor in front of him along with a soda and straw. Hardly scandalous.

Kurt's mouth softened into a smile as he stared at his ex. Over the years, Blaine had stopped weighing his hair down with gel, letting his curls run free. One was lying rebelliously against his forehead and Kurt ached to push it back into place. His face looked relaxed in sleep, though the dark circles under his eyes revealed his exhaustion. Kurt put down the shoulder bag he was carrying and walked into the room.

"How'd it go?" he asked quietly, startling Rome who immediately stood up.

"Good, I gave him a pain pill about a half hour ago which knocked him out," the nurse said, stretching slightly before sliding on his shoes which were right next to his chair. "He ate good today. I think within the next week, you should start weaning him off the pills."

"So soon?" Kurt asked worriedly as he made his way over to Blaine. He couldn't resist any longer and he reached down and pushed the wayward curl off Blaine's forehead. Blaine stirred at the touch, his eyes fluttering open.

"Hey," he said drowsily. "How was the show?"

"Good," Kurt replied. "Why don't we get you to bed?"

"M'Kay," Blaine murmured, his eyes already drifting shut.

"Here, let me help," Rome said, coming over with the wheelchair.

Together they were able to get Blaine in his chair though he grumbled the whole time like a petulant child who was woken up too early from nap time. They moved him into the bedroom and got him in bed with minimum fuss.

"Do you need help removing his clothes?" Rome asked and Kurt felt that dammed jealously roar to life again.

"No," he answered shortly. "I've got it from here."

"In that case, I think I'll head out. My husband's probably wondering where I am by now."

"Oh…you're married?" Kurt asked, the green eyed monster quieting.

"Yep, going on four months now," Rome said proudly. He lifted his hand and showed off a tattoo on his left ring finger. "We decided to get tats instead of the traditional rings. It seemed more permanent that way."

Kurt ached a little at that but he kept his smile in place. "That's a very romantic gesture."

"Jake—that's my husband—he's a big fan of yours, by the way. When I told him who I was helping out today, he completely freaked out."

Kurt relaxed and broke out into a genuine smile. "Tell him I appreciate the support."

"Will do. Now if you don't need anything else, I'll get going," Rome said. "You're permanent nurse will be here first thing tomorrow."

"Thanks again," Kurt said, holding out his hand. The other man shook it and then left. Kurt waited until he heard the front door click before he turned back to Blaine. He looked so comfortable sleeping, Kurt loathed to wake him. But he knew that if Blaine had to use the bathroom in a hurry, the cast was already going to be a hindrance so the less things in his way the better.

With that thought in mind, Kurt went over and loosened the tie holding up Blaine's jogging pants. He started to pull them down when hands wrapped around his wrists.

"Whatcha doing?" Blaine asked, his voice slurred from the lack of sleep mixed with medication.

"Trying to get your pants off," Kurt said and then went beat red as Blaine let out a laugh.

"All ya had to do was ask," Blaine replied as he lifted his hips slightly. Kurt huffed in exasperation, but he still removed the sweats cautiously, careful not to disturb the cast. He was startled when Blaine reached for the hem of his own shirt.

"Wait…what are you doing?" Kurt squeaked.

"Don't like to sleep in so many clothes," Blaine muttered as he lifted the shirt over his head.

Kurt sucked in a breath as he saw the bruises on Blaine's side. They were yellowish and starting to fade, but it still looked like someone had taken a bat to Blaine's body. Kurt sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out, tracing the marks with his fingers, blinking back the tears that were suddenly stinging his eyes.

Blaine could have been killed. If a train had been coming, he _would_ have been killed.

"It doesn't hurt much," Blaine assured him, his hand loosely clasping Kurt's arm.

"Nothing hurts when you're highly medicated," Kurt said, sounding like something was choking him.

"I'm okay, Kurt," Blaine responded, his hand coming up to rest against Kurt's neck, his thumb moving back and forth against the sensitive skin there.

"So—uh—what'd you do all day?" Kurt asked distractedly.

"Watched TV, ate some food, read a bit, watched more TV."

"And Rome? How'd he treat you?"

"He was fine, but…"

"What?" Kurt wondered, leaning forward.

"He wasn't you," Blaine said, his expression turning sad. "I missed you today, Kurt."

"I'm sorry," he replied, pulling away from Blaine's hand as he tried to build the walls up around his heart.

_He doesn't remember. If he did, you wouldn't be here. Let him go. It's for the best._

Kurt got up from the bed and said, "I have two more shows tomorrow and then Monday, I only have one. I should be able to spend some time with you then."

"Good," Blaine responded, his face brightening.

Kurt pulled his gaze away and went into the closet to grab his silk pajamas. Gripping them tightly in his hand, he went into the bathroom and did his nightly skin care regime, changing his clothes while he was at it. When he was finally ready, he went back into the bedroom.

Blaine was fast asleep and Kurt sighed with relief. He went over and gently pulled the sheet over Blaine's chest. He turned off the light next to the bed and made his way to the doorway.

"Where you going?" Blaine's tired voice questioned, causing Kurt to jump. He turned around quickly, barely making Blaine's features out in the darkness.

"I'm going to sleep in the other room."

There was five seconds of silence before Blaine asked, "Why?"

"I don't want to hurt you by accidentally kicking your cast."

"You won't hurt me. I'll sleep on the right side of the bed tonight so you can sleep on the left."

"You know I always sleep on the right," Kurt argued weakly.

"Can't you make an exception for tonight?"

"No, I can't," Kurt said stubbornly.

"What if I need to get up in the middle of the night?"

"I'll leave our bedroom doors open. If you need anything, just shout."

"Kurt, this is ridiculous, just sleep in here." Blaine's voice was much clearer in its insistence.

"No, this is for the best," Kurt stated. When Blaine didn't say anything else, he said insistently, "I'm only thinking of you, Blaine."

"Yeah, sure. I appreciate it," Blaine answered distantly.

Kurt opened his mouth to explain himself even further and then closed it. What would be the point of arguing? He wasn't sleeping with Blaine irregardless.

After an awkward pause, he whispered, "Goodnight."

When Blaine didn't reply, Kurt left, leaving behind the silent room and its brooding occupant.


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt silently cursed Rachel as he buttered bread for the sandwiches he was making for lunch. Thanks to her interference, Jesse had given them the week off of rehearsals. Which meant Kurt didn't have the excuse of the play to avoid Blaine.

Sighing, he cut one of the sandwiches in half and put it on a plate before adding some chips. He could hear soft talking coming from the bedroom and his stomach twisted nervously. Kurt only had a chance to say a quick good morning to Blaine before his nurse arrived.

Helga had started the day before, helping Blaine while Kurt did his Sunday performances. She was exactly what Kurt wanted in a nurse. Late fifties with a no nonsense expression on her face. She reminded him of Coach Beiste in the fact that they were both about the same size. The only difference was Helga wore an old fashioned nurse's uniform, including a white cap pinned to her short gray hair. She didn't watch sports movies with Blaine, but she made sure to look after him. By the time Kurt had gotten home last night, Helga had an air of satisfaction about her and Blaine had looked disgruntled. But he was now able to get in and out of his wheelchair without assistance.

Helga and Kurt had agreed that she'd work half days all week since Kurt would be home during the day. She arrived early that morning carrying crutches as she walked determinedly toward Blaine's room. A lot of swearing had come out of there during the first hour after her arrival followed by Helga's sharp voice reprimanding her patient. But when she left a few minutes ago, she was smiling happily as she promised to return later that evening when Kurt was at the theatre.

A beeping noise distracted him and he looked over at his cell which was lying on the counter. Grabbing it, he pulled up the new text.

_I miss you. Can you call me? ~ Nelson_

Kurt's lips went thin as he glanced over at Blaine's room. It was stupid to feel guilty over Nelson when he had a perfect right to become involved with anyone he chose. Especially after what Blaine did to him. But this was not something they needed to deal with right now. Things were already awkward between them after Kurt refused to sleep in the same bed as Blaine.

Deleting the message, he picked up a glass of tea he'd set aside and the plate of prepared food and walked slowly towards the bedroom. He could hear him talking on the phone, his voice low and tense. Kurt found himself pausing, an unwilling eavesdropper.

"Mom, I'm fine. I appreciate you calling," Blaine said and Kurt's mouth twisted in disgust. Blaine had been injured over a week ago and Martha was just getting in contact with him? He knew Cooper had kept the senior Andersons updated, but it was appalling that they hadn't called Blaine directly before now. It wasn't like they couldn't afford the long distance charges considering the Andersons were some of the wealthiest people in Ohio. Hell, they even had their own private plane. They could have flown in to see their youngest son.

But Blaine never had the easiest relationship with his parents. Kurt had always had the feeling they would have been content if Cooper had been an only child. Martha's pregnancy with Blaine had been a surprise to his aging parents. It wasn't that they didn't love Blaine in their own way. They just never understood him. He wasn't like their perfect Coop. Cooper was adored by everyone. He was famous—he was straight. They thought Blaine being gay was a phase, something he'd outgrow. And after Blaine and Kurt got married, Thomas Anderson had stopped trying to understand his son all together.

Personally Kurt thought it was better that Blaine had very little to do with his dad, though he knew it killed a part of Blaine's heart to not have the relationship with his father that Kurt had with Burt. Blaine had tried so hard to live up to Thomas' lofty expectations all his life. The stories of his childhood always made Kurt's heart ache.

Blaine used to spend hours rehearsing dance steps so that he would have them perfect for shows his father never bothered attending. He started a boxing club at Dalton in hopes of impressing his father, but his dad had remained unmoved. When extracurricular activities at school didn't connect the two, the father/son pair tried bonding by building a car together.

" _He said it was no wonder I was confused about my sexuality. I needed to do some dirty work to understand what it takes to be a man,"_ a teenaged Blaine had confessed one night while they cuddled together on his bed.

" _That's stupid,"_ Kurt remembered replying, his fingers kneading into the tense muscles at the back of Blaine's neck. _"I've been helping out in my dad's shop since I was a kid. Didn't make me any less gay."_

Blaine had smiled a little at that before kissing Kurt passionately. But it hadn't stopped him from trying with his dad. He did everything he could think of to please his father—to find a common ground with him. It didn't matter.

His father always ended their conversations with " _when Cooper and I built something, he knew which wrench to grab, Blaine,_ " or _"you got the lead as Tony…your brother just got cast in a national commercial, Blaine."_ And more often than not their conversations went something along the lines of _…"Coop's dating a supermodel, Blaine, why don't you ask Sarah out from the club?"_ Or _"how do you know that you're not straight if you won't at least try dating a woman."_ After Kurt had met the man, he understood a lot better why Blaine had been so desperate to be attracted to Rachel.

Once Blaine began getting seriously involved with Kurt, the distance between father and son had grown. It got to the point that when Blaine decided to transfer high schools to be with Kurt, Thomas hadn't said a word about it, though Martha had thrown a fit. Blaine had put up a good front that first day at McKinley, but he later told Kurt that he overheard his dad say to his mom _…"if my son wants to be a fruit than I've got nothing to say to him about wasting his education."_

When it came to Kurt, Thomas had never been overly rude to him, but he didn't go out of his way to make him feel welcome either. Even after their marriage, Thomas continued to try to get Blaine interested in girls. When that didn't work, he left their contact to a minimum, taking Blaine out to a Knicks games or some other sport whenever he was in town.

And yet, Blaine still hoped for the best. Kurt could hear it even in his current conversation with his mother as he asked, "Is Dad there?"

Whatever his mom said in return must not have been good because Blaine's voice was hollow as he said, "No, of course I understand how hard it is for Dad and Uncle George to schedule a golf game. No, Mom, don't call him. He probably won't have his cell on him anyway." Another pause and then Blaine replied, "Yeah, I love you, too. Thanks, Mom."

When Kurt heard the phone hit the table next to the bed he entered the room to find Blaine lying on the bed with his eyes closed, defeat written on his face. Kurt tried to squash the sympathy he felt as he said, "I have lunch if you're hungry."

Blaine's eyes jerked open and a soft smile appeared on his lips as he looked at Kurt. Kurt ignored how the sight made butterflies appear in his stomach.

"Thanks. It looks great," Blaine said as he sat up and took the plate from him. He looked exhausted. Dark circles were evident under his eyes and Kurt resisted tracing them with his fingers. He glanced away from Blaine and saw the pair of crutches near the bed. No wonder Blaine was worn out.

"That was your mom?" Kurt asked, turning his attention back to his ex.

"Yeah. She hadn't heard from Cooper in a couple of days and she wanted an update."

"I hope it wasn't too much trouble for her to call you directly," Kurt said sarcastically.

"Don't start, please," Blaine replied, his exhaustion even more noticeable in the way his shoulders drooped. "I just went one round with my mom. I don't need to do another with my husband."

"Sorry," Kurt muttered, trying to remain impassive at Blaine referring to him as "husband.' He hovered for a moment before he said, "Well, if you need anything, I'll be in the other room."

"Did you already eat?" Blaine asked curiously.

"My sandwich is in the kitchen."

"Why don't I join you?" Blaine suggested, already putting the sandwich to the side as he eyed his wheelchair.

"No!" Kurt said instantly, wanting—needing—to keep the barriers up. "You just rest here."

Blaine's eyes took on a stubborn light that Kurt was all too familiar with. He internally groaned as Blaine said, "Look, you either come in here or I'm going out there. So what's it going to be?"

"Don't order me around," Kurt replied waspishly.

Blaine's jaw clenched before he said lowly, "You know…I'm getting really sick of this."

Kurt folded his arms over his chest and glared back. "Sick of what, pray tell?"

"Sick of you treating me like a pariah."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kurt replied, picking at non-existent lint on his sleeve.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Blaine snapped.

"Nothing is wrong. In fact, things are exactly as they should be. Now be a good boy and eat your sandwich," Kurt said in the most patronizing tone he could use.

"God dammit, Kurt," Blaine responded tightly, running a hand through his curls. "One of these days you _are_ going to talk to me."

"There's nothing to say."

"There's everything to say," Blaine stated impatiently.

Kurt didn't reply. With as much dignity as he could muster, he turned to leave the room. As he neared the exit, he heard Blaine ask, "What did I do before the accident to piss you off this bad?"

Kurt froze and Blaine continued, "At first I thought you were upset by what happened to me, but there's more to it than that, isn't there? Something has changed between us. Don't you think I realize that? You're not acting like yourself. The Kurt I love wouldn't leave me for hours on end with complete strangers. He would never use every pathetic excuse possible to avoid me. He would never sleep in separate beds. He would never be such a dick."

Kurt spun around to face Blaine, anger radiating through his body so strong he was literally shaking. But Blaine wasn't done.

"So tell me, Kurt. What exactly did I do to make my own husband hate me so much?"

That zapped the emotion right out of him.

"I…I don't hate you…" he whispered shakily.

"Don't you?" Blaine questioned and the slight tremor in his voice made Kurt realize that beneath the bravado, Blaine was scared. He was confused. And it reminded Kurt all over again why they were even in this situation. The accident. Blaine's amnesia.

"Blaine…" Kurt hesitated. "Do you remember anything yet? Anything at all?"

Blaine suddenly became very interested in the sandwich Kurt had brought him. He picked it up before putting it down again with a heavy sigh.

"No…not really. Just feelings more than anything else."

"What kind of feelings?" Kurt questioned.

"Emptiness…fear. Like something is really off and I can't figure out what it is." Blaine raised his eyes to Kurt's face, his eyes running over him. "But given your behavior, I take it that the feeling is coming from something to do with our marriage." Blaine didn't look away as he asked bluntly, "Are we having problems?"

Kurt opened his mouth before closing it. Finally he said, "What marriage doesn't have hiccups?"

"And that's it? We're going through a hiccup?"

"We were, yeah."

"Kurt…" Blaine's entire body tensed before he said, "Do you…do you still love me?"

Kurt felt his stomach twist sickeningly but he forced a smile to his face as he said evasively, "Don't be an idiot. Now eat up. I've got some errands to run, but I'll be back soon."

"Kurt—" Blaine started to say, but Kurt was out the door so fast he banged his shoulder against the frame. He ignored Blaine continuously calling his name as he grabbed his cell off the kitchen counter along with his keys and left the apartment.

Once he was out in the hall, the air felt so heavy he headed for the stairs that led up to the building's rooftop garden. As soon as he felt the warm sun on his face, he breathed deeply, the tightness in his chest loosening as he made his way to the railing. His head hung low and he forced air into his lungs.

"I can't do this anymore," he whispered as tears stung his eyes. Wiping at his face impatiently, he used his phone to dial Blaine's doctor.

"This is Dr. Weaver," a woman's voice announced after he was put on hold for several minutes.

"Dr. Weaver, this is Kurt Hummel. I'm calling in regards to Blaine Anderson."

"Ah yes, how is my patient doing?"

"He's…" A lump formed in his throat until he felt like it was choking him. He rasped, "He's struggling. He still doesn't remember anything and it's beginning to wear on both of us. I'm not sure how much Cooper explained of our situation—"

"He told me that you were divorced. It's commendable that you're willing to help Blaine. He's lucky to have someone as understanding as you in his life."

"That's the thing," Kurt confessed. "I don't know how much longer I can go on with this charade. Blaine and I had an ugly parting, and I haven't exactly been able to fall into the timeframe of five years ago that he's currently stuck in. Blaine's not stupid. He knows things aren't right between us and he keeps asking me about it. And I…I was just wondering if I could tell him the truth. That we're not together anymore."

There was a moment of silence before the doctor said slowly, "You could."

Kurt closed his eyes at the hesitation in her voice. "But you don't think it's a good idea."

"The brain's a funny thing, Mr. Hummel. Right now Blaine's mind has been traumatized by the accident. It's protecting itself by locking Blaine in a time where he felt most safe and secure. I'm fairly confident that his brain will heal as long as it isn't too stressed. But forcing someone to do something before their ready has never led to good results."

Kurt's thoughts drifted to Santana Lopez. She'd been forced out of the closest before she was ready which affected her later on in life. She began drinking in college and eventually dropped out before disappearing out west. Last he'd heard, she finally settled down with a girl she met in California and they ran a nightclub together. But it had taken her years to get to that point in her life.

"So I have to put up with it," Kurt said resignedly, knowing he could never do that to Blaine.

"Like I said, the brain's a funny thing. You never know, the truth could be the key to unlocking his memories—"

"Or it could be what keeps him trapped forever," Kurt finished.

"Yes," the doctor replied sympathetically.

Kurt sighed before saying, "Thank you for your time."

"It's not a problem. Please feel free to contact me with anymore questions."

"Will do. Goodbye." Kurt ended the call and headed back downstairs. He felt embarrassed and guilty over his earlier behavior, but he wasn't ready to face Blaine yet. Instead, he called Helga and asked her to return to the apartment. He sat on the floor outside their door and waited for the nurse to arrive.

When she stepped off the elevator, he jumped to his feet. "Thank you for returning so quickly."

"It's not a problem," she replied, eyeing his pale features. "Go now. Do what you need to do."

He squeezed her arm lightly and then went outside, wandering around Central Park until it was time to head to the theatre. When he returned home later that evening, he told Helga that his schedule changed and he would need her there full time for the rest of the week.

"Oh…" the nurse said when he told her. "I'm okay with that except Thursday. As you said you'd be home this week, I made arrangements to spend the afternoon with my grandchildren."

"Sure. That's—uh—that's no problem," Kurt murmured weakly. Self-preservation apparently could only get you so far and Kurt knew he had to stop acting so irresponsible. Blaine wasn't going to remember anything if he wasn't around to guide him.

Still, when Thursday arrived he wasn't any more prepared to be around Blaine then he'd been earlier in the week. The atmosphere in the apartment had been icy at best the past few days. Blaine had been growing increasingly frustrated by Kurt's behavior, and given their earlier fight, alone time was the last thing Kurt wanted with him. Helga had been acting as a barrier between the two, but Kurt didn't have that safeguard today. He didn't know how to respond to Blaine's questions regarding their past. He certainly didn't want Blaine asking if they were in love or not.

When Kurt brought him his lunch, Blaine didn't say anything. He kept his eyes firmly on the book in front of him. As Kurt was leaving the room, he heard Blaine's faint sigh. He felt sick with remorse as he made his way to the couch. Kurt couldn't help the self-pity that attacked him.

He hated everything about this situation. He hated being distant from Blaine. He hated himself for feeling that way. He hated how easy it was to look at his ex and forget the reason they separated in the first place. But mostly…he hated hurting Blaine.

It wasn't as though the Blaine that Kurt knew today didn't deserve to suffer. He did. He was a lying, cheating bastard. But the Blaine sitting in the other room wasn't _that_ Blaine. He was the Blaine who looked at Kurt with stars in his eyes. It was so easy to forget the present when they were both forced to live in the past.

With a heavy heart, Kurt sat down sideways on the couch and drew his legs up in front of him. He grabbed a script he'd been reading off the coffee table and placed it against his thighs. A loud bang and groan brought his head up seconds later. Blaine was standing in the doorway of his bedroom, leaning heavily on his crutches as his face twisted in pain.

"What are you doing?" Kurt questioned, jumping up and rushing over to him.

"If the mountain won't come to Muhammad…" Blaine muttered even as he slowly made his way to the couch.

"You shouldn't be up," Kurt insisted, walking slowly behind him with his hands up, ready to grab Blaine in case he fell over.

By the time Blaine sat down on the couch gingerly, sweat had broken out on his face. His breathing was heavy as he said, "I'm sick of staring at the walls in that room. I wanted to be out here with you."

Guilt hit Kurt again and his hands trembled slightly as he reached down to pick up the script which had fallen to the ground in his hurry to get to Blaine.

"Is that for the play?" Blaine asked curiously.

"No," Kurt replied as he put his feet back up on the couch, his toes inches away from Blaine's thigh. "After the play wraps up, my agent wants me to consider taking on a film role."

"Kurt, that's fantastic!" Blaine enthused, his hand reaching out to rest on Kurt's foot.

He shrugged in response. "Well, nothing is guaranteed. I'm not even sure if this is something I want to do. Theatre's my passion, and besides, I've got six months left on my contract with my current show. And it's not like they're going to consider me for the romantic lead."

"You'll be perfect no matter what role you take," Blaine assured. It was then Kurt realized that sometime during their conversation, he'd automatically moved his feet so that they were lying in Blaine's lap. Blaine was massaging the center of one foot with his hand, pressing it in just the right area to make all the tension drain from Kurt's body.

He closed his eyes and groaned in appreciation. How many nights had Kurt come home, exhausted from a day of auditioning and waiting tables only to have Blaine massage his feet like this? Then Blaine would tell him about his own day, cursing out models who ruined beautiful shots and deadlines that were approaching too soon. It had been a way for them to connect after a hard day's work.

"No, stop," Kurt demanded, snapping out of the happy stupor Blaine's touch had placed him in. Hurt flashed across Blaine's face but he quickly covered it.

"Fine, I get it," he said coldly. "No touching, no talking, no nothing."

He crossed his arms over his chest and his mouth formed into a little pout. Kurt found himself smiling at the sight. Sometimes he forgot how adorable Blaine could be.

"I'm sorry," he said, not knowing how else to ease the awkwardness between them.

"Just…why?" Blaine finally asked. "Why do you keep pushing me away?"

"I…" Kurt fumbled. "The doctor wants you to remember things on your own…"

Blaine looked at him carefully. "I see…"

And Kurt had a terrible feeling that Blaine _did_ see. It was written all over his face. Kurt had just given him silent confirmation that there was something very messed up between them.

"So…Coop said that I'm a photojournalist now," Blaine said in way of changing the subject, rubbing the scar on his face with a frown.

"That's right," Kurt replied cautiously.

"And you're okay with that?" Blaine asked, watching Kurt closely.

"Not really," Kurt muttered before he corrected himself. "I mean—you're taking pictures, which is what you love to do. As long as you're happy."

"But why'd I get out of the fashion industry? I was making good money."

Kurt put his script down slowly on the table, fussing with it until it was perfectly straight.

"Kurt?"

"You wanted a change," Kurt finally said, hoping that Blaine would accept that. He didn't.

"But why?"

"Jesus Blaine, I don't know." Kurt's irritation with this whole conversation was starting make his head throb painfully.

"You don't know why your husband suddenly decided to take assignments across the world that were both dangerous and away from you?"

"You were unhappy and you said you wanted a change," Kurt told him, repeating the information Rachel had given him. He got up off the couch. "I need a highlighter for the script. Do you know if you have one in your desk?"

"I don't remember what happened three weeks ago. You tell me," Blaine replied petulantly.

Kurt gave him his signature bitchface before he went over to the small nook that was just past Blaine's room. He opened the desk drawer that Blaine used to keep his pens in. He was about to reach for a highlighter when he froze, his eyes going to something else inside the drawer.

Kurt's jaw dropped open as he pulled out three playbills—each from shows Kurt had done after their divorce.

"But…" he murmured. How did Blaine get these? The only two options he could think of was that Rachel had given them to him…or Blaine had come to see him on Broadway even after their marriage failed.

"Did you find one?" Blaine called out. Kurt unthinkingly walked back into the living room with the playbills in his hand.

"I found these," he blurted.

"Playbills?" Blaine asked in confusion, not quite getting why Kurt was making a big deal out of this.

"From my shows over the past few years."

"Oh…" Blaine's face lit up as he looked at them. "Wow, you were in Cabaret? I bet you were amazing."

"You saw them?" Kurt whispered and Blaine frowned in confusion.

"Of course I must have seen the shows if you were in them."

"Blaine, I…" Kurt stopped before he could go on. There was so much to explain…so much to try and understand. Kurt felt a warmth he hadn't felt in years ignite in his heart. Blaine had come to see his shows.

Blaine's face softened as he read Kurt's expression. "Kurt—"

"Blaine—"

They both started talking at the same time and stopped.

"Go ahead," Kurt said, motioning for Blaine to continue.

"I was just thinking. Maybe…maybe we could start over," Blaine suggested.

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked slowly.

"There's something obviously fucked up between us. And seeing as I don't remember what it is and you don't want to share, I was hoping we could have a fresh start. You're still my best friend, right? Maybe we could try to get to that place again."

"You want us to be friends?" Kurt didn't know if he wanted to hug Blaine or throttle him.

"Yeah," Blaine replied eagerly. "Kurt, you've been my closest friend since I was fifteen. These past couple of weeks of us barely speaking have been hell. I miss you. I miss talking to you. So what do you say? Can we start over and maybe just focus on being friends again?"

"And that's it? You want to forget about being in love?" Kurt questioned and the idea of throttling Blaine grew infinitely sweeter.

"That would be impossible," Blaine answered, his smile doing things to Kurt that he tried like hell to ignore. "What I'm saying is let's take it one step at a time."

When Kurt didn't say anything, Blaine's face turned to despair. The sight made Kurt ache. His hands tightened on the playbills he was still holding and he looked down at them. He felt himself melt and his brain went slightly fuzzy at the knowledge that even after their divorce Blaine hadn't been able to quite let him go.

"Okay," he found himself saying. "We'll try it. We'll be friends again."

Blaine grinned widely as he held out his hand. "In that case…my name's Blaine."

Kurt rolled his eyes, but smiled despite himself. He reached out and took the hand Blaine offered.

"Kurt."


	7. Chapter 7

"He had my playbills, Rachel," Kurt said, watching his friend carefully as she applied stage makeup for their evening performance. "He came to see my shows."

"So you've told me ten times already tonight," Rachel replied in exasperation as she added more blush. "And let me add for the tenth time tonight…no, I didn't know anything about it."

"It's just…why would he come to my shows after everything that happened between us? The last time we saw each other was on the day of our divorce and our conversation had been so ugly I thought he'd never want to see me again."

"Um, I think it's obvious why he was there," Rachel told him, putting her makeup brush on the counter as a smile formed on her lips.

"What's that look for?" Kurt wondered.

"It's just so _Blaine_ ," she said with a contented sigh. "So romantic. Unable to be with the man he loves. Forced to watch from the shadows."

"Sounds like a stalker," Kurt stated dryly, ignoring the fluttery feeling in his stomach.

"Oh don't tell me that doesn't appeal to you just a little bit," Rachel said, giving Kurt a knowing look. "I can tell it does. You've been walking around with a pleased little glow all day."

"I have not," Kurt muttered, turning to exam his reflection in the dressing room mirror. His eyes narrowed on his appearance. He _did_ look different. He looked…happy, the shadows that had taken up permanent residence on his face since the divorce no longer there.

Rachel stood up and moved so that she was next to him. She wrapped an arm around his waist.

"I'm glad you're giving Blaine another chance."

"I'm not," Kurt quickly denied. "We agreed to be friends again. That's all. It'll be easier living together that way."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Why do you insist on cutting off your nose to spite your face? Kurt, you're happy again. Don't you get that you and Blaine aren't complete without each other?"

He was saved a reply by a knock on the door. Jesse poked his head inside, a scowl on his face.

"Kurt, what are you doing in that shirt?"

"What?" Kurt asked, glancing down at his costume in confusion. "This is what I always wear in the opening act."

"Not anymore," Jesse replied. "The new shirt is in your dressing room. You've got ten minutes before places." He glanced at Rachel and his face instantly softened. "Rachel, you look stunning as usual."

"Thank you," Rachel stammered, blushing lightly.

Jesse stared at her intently for a second before he snapped out of his trance. "Kurt, hurry up."

Kurt gave a mock salute as Jesse shut the door. He turned to find Rachel staring at the door blankly.

He nudged her gently. "What was that about cutting off your nose to spite your face?"

"Oh shut up," Rachel said as she busied herself, straightening her makeup brushes.

"Why don't you put that guy out of misery and go out with him?"

"As a matter of fact, we have gone out recently."

Kurt took in Rachel's guilty expression. He turned smug as he said, "Oh…now I get why Jesse gave us a week off from rehearsal."

"Don't you have a shirt to change into?" Rachel said shortly, her cheeks now bright red.

Kurt snorted but left to change. The following performance was one of their best to date. When the curtain closed for the night, he and Rachel rushed off the stage. Jesse was waiting with a bright smile on his face. He instantly picked Rachel up and spun her around.

"You were brilliant," he said before reluctantly putting her down to glance at Kurt. "Not bad tonight, Hummel."

"Thanks," he responded with a smirk. No insult? Rachel was definitely having an effect on their director.

Kurt excused himself from the two and went back to his dressing room to shower and change. He didn't even realize that for the first time since Blaine re-entered his life, there was anticipation in his step, an eagerness to get home. He left the theatre and made it to the apartment right before midnight. As he entered the hallway, he looked toward the living room and saw Helga sitting in a chair with her feet propped on the table, a crossword book and pen in her hands.

Disappointment stung him as he realized Blaine wasn't there. After their agreement that afternoon to be friends, he half expected Blaine to be waiting for him when he got home. He couldn't help but glance toward the bedroom, but the room was dark.

"He's asleep," Helga said, getting to her feet. "He was exhausted after getting out of bed earlier. He shouldn't have been using his crutches without my supervision."

She was looking at Kurt with her lips pursed in disapproval. He suddenly felt like a school kid being chastised by a teacher. And that was before Helga continued.

"Mr. Hummel, you hired me to look after your husband's welfare and…"

She looked uncomfortable and he held up his hand to stop her.

"I understand," Kurt told her. "I'm going to be more active in Blaine's recovery."

She observed him for a moment before relief appeared on her face. "I'm glad to hear it. He needs you."

Kurt nodded but didn't say anything else. Helga grabbed her belongings and said, "Have a good night."

He waited until the door closed behind her before he went into Blaine's room. The light from the hallway illuminated his face. Even in the depths of sleep, Blaine didn't seem to be able to escape the daily pain he was in that he never complained about. His eyebrows were pulled down tight, a deep line forming on his forehead. Kurt reached down and ran his finger across the creased skin. Blaine instantly relaxed, his head turning into Kurt's touch as it always did. Impulse overtook him and Kurt leaned down, lightly brushing his lips across Blaine's brow, which earned him a sleepy murmur in response. Pulling back, he grabbed the comforter and drew it gently over Blaine's shoulders.

Leaving the room, he shut the hallway light off and made his way into the bathroom. The emotional upheaval of the day left him yawning, and he rushed through his nightly routine before finally collapsing in his bed. A loud ringing jerked him awake a short time later.

It took Kurt a second to realize his phone was going off on the table next to him. With blurry eyes, he looked at the clock and saw that it was after 2 AM. Dread twisted inside him as he reached for the phone. The feeling imploded when he saw Finn's name flash across the caller ID.

"Finn!" Kurt rasped, his voice husky with sleep. "What is it? Is it Dad? Is it Carole?"

"Marcy had the baby," Finn announced excited. "I have a son."

It took Kurt a second to comprehend what his brother was saying, his heart slowing down. "Come again?"

"You're an uncle, Kurt!"

A smile slowly spread on his face. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"That's great news. Congratulations."

"I'm sorry to call so late," Finn said sheepishly. "I couldn't get a hold of Mom or Burt and it's not real until I tell my family."

Kurt felt himself warm. "It's all right. How's Marce?"

"Recovering. The baby was 9 lbs, 2 ozs and she refused to have a cesarean. But she's a trooper."

"Guess all that military training helped," Kurt retorted.

"Yeah…" Finn replied before his tone turned emotional. "You should see him, Kurt. He's beautiful."

"And what name did you go with?" Kurt asked, sitting up in bed to lean against the headboard. "Please tell me you didn't go for Bartholomew or something hideous."

"Christopher, after my d-dad," Finn stated, his voice cracking slightly.

"Congratulations again, Finn. I'm glad they're both doing all right. As soon as I can, I'll make it back to Ohio to see you guys."

"Thanks bro. Marcy and I were still hoping to come to New York to catch your show…"

"But you've got other things going on, I understand."

"Thanks again…I guess I should let you get back to sleep."

"Give Marcy and my new nephew my love."

"I will. Night Kurt."

"Goodnight," he replied before ending the call. He laid back down on his mattress as his thoughts drifted to Finn and his wife.

Finn had impulsively joined the military after high school in a push to send Rachel off to NYADA. It was one of the only things he'd ever done right in their history together. It had broken their hearts and it had taken them both a long time to recover, but they weren't right for each other and they eventually realized it.

It was about a year after he'd joined the army that he met Marcy. She'd been a military kid following in her parents' footsteps. She and Finn became best friends and stayed that way for the next two years. It took her getting engaged to another man for Finn to realize he'd fallen hopelessly in love with her. It was soon after Finn woke up to his feelings that Marcy realized she was in love with him, too. She ended her engagement and they'd been together ever since.

He was happy that his brother had finally settled down. Finn had been lost for so long. Kurt was glad he finally found his way. Rachel had taken a lot longer to get over Finn, putting her heartache into her performances on the stage. Her pain helped give depth to her acting that made her an instant success on Broadway. And now that Jesse had entered her life again, Kurt hoped she'd finally get a chance at her happy ever after.

Kind of like what he'd always hoped to get for himself. He thought he'd had lasting love once. Maybe he'd be like Rachel and find true love later on in life.

He tried to ignore the way his heart instantly rebelled at the idea of replacing Blaine. Rubbing his face wearily with all thoughts of sleep now abandoned, Kurt got up and headed for the kitchen, guided there by the moonlight infiltrating the apartment. He was just pulling out a jug of apple juice when he heard a noise behind him. He swung around with a start, almost dropping the bottle in his hand.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Blaine said, sitting in his wheelchair in the archway of the room.

"It's okay," Kurt replied, putting the juice on the counter before grabbing two glasses.

"Couldn't you sleep?" Blaine asked, watching as Kurt filled a glass and handed it to him.

"Finn called and woke me up. Marce had their baby tonight."

"That's great," Blaine remarked though there was something sad in the way he said it. Kurt felt his own sadness. If things had played out differently, it could have been Blaine and Kurt calling relatives in the middle of the night with the happy news of their child's birth.

"Hey…" Blaine said after the silence stretched on a little too long. "You know what I'd like to do?"

"Go back to bed because it's the middle of the night?" Kurt answered wryly.

"Nah…I want to go to the roof."

Kurt eyed the wheelchair. "Except there's one problem. There's no wheelchair access."

"We could take the elevator to the top floor and then take the stairs to the rooftop from there."

"It's a bad idea," Kurt said hesitantly.

"Come on, Kurt," Blaine pleaded, giving him those big heart eyes that were Kurt's own personal kryptonite. "I can't sleep either and I feel like I've been trapped in this apartment forever. Let's get out of here for awhile."

Kurt sighed before finally muttering, "Fine, but if you get me in trouble with Helga, I'm taking you down with me."

"Kinky," Blaine snickered.

"Keep that behavior up and we're not going anywhere," Kurt threatened and Blaine's expression became angelic. Kurt rolled his eyes and hid his amusement as he hurried into his room to get dressed in warmer clothes. He walked back into the living room and grabbed a blanket off the couch. Throwing it at Blaine, Kurt grabbed his keys and shoved them in his pocket.

"You ready?" he asked, eyeing the sweat shorts and t-shirt Blaine was wearing. "Do you want to put on anything warmer to wear?"

"I'm good. Let's go," Blaine replied excitedly.

Kurt laughed at his eagerness and they headed into the hallway, locking the door behind them. They took the elevator to the top floor and exited the lift before going to the stairwell that led to the roof.

"You sure about this?" Kurt questioned and Blaine nodded.

He bent down and Blaine wrapped an arm around his shoulder. They were able to get Blaine unsteadily to his feet and together made their way up the stairs, both panting by the time they reached the top. The cool night air did little to help clean off the sweat that was now on their skin. Kurt placed Blaine in the nearest lounger with the blanket, helping him put his broken leg on it before he ran back down the stairs to retrieve the wheelchair. It was a nice building, but this was New York. There was no freaking way he was going to leave something as necessary as Blaine's wheelchair unattended.

By the time he got back upstairs, Blaine had made himself comfortable with the blanket spread over him. Kurt stood unsurely for a moment before he started to head over to one of the other chairs. Blaine spoke up immediately.

"You know, I'm kind of cold sitting here by myself," he stated before throwing the blanket back slightly, patting the spot next to him.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "Friends don't share the same lounger."

"Are you telling me that you—as my friend—would allow me to be exposed to hypothermia?" Blaine shook his head and made a tsking noise. "Some friend."

"Fine," Kurt said with a snort as he slid next to him. Blaine instantly moved his hand to Kurt's back, adding pressure until Kurt had no choice but to lie across his chest, an arm going around Blaine's waist as his head rested on the smaller man's shoulder.

"See…isn't this better?" Blaine practically hummed in satisfaction.

"That was real smooth, by the way," Kurt said, knowing full well that this had been Blaine's intention ever since he suggested coming here. Cuddling under the moonlight had been one of their favorite pastimes. And going by Blaine's answering chuckle, he was fully aware of his success.

"You know what this reminds me of?" Blaine asked, rubbing his chin across Kurt's hair.

"Hmm?"

"The day you got your first NYADA letter…the one saying you didn't get in. Do you remember?"

"How could I forget?" Kurt answered somewhat bitterly. It still annoyed him after all these years that Rachel had choked on her audition and got into the program immediately, but Kurt had nailed his first audition and then had to wait until the winter semester before he was finally accepted. That hadn't stopped him from getting out of Lima. He had gone to New York that September with Blaine's full support, working at Vogue until he got into the school.

"You know…I always knew how much I loved you back then," Blaine said, too engrossed in his memories to notice the way Kurt suddenly tensed up. "And I always knew you were incredibly brave. But that night…I remember being in complete awe of you. We went to that party at Mr. Schuester's, remember? You put on such a strong face for everyone, not letting them know—not letting Rachel know—how crushed you were."

"Then we went up to the rooftop of Mr. Schue's apartment…" Kurt took over, his voice heavy as he thought back on that day. "And you held me in your arms all night as I balled my eyes out, telling me over and over again…"

"That you were going to make it," Blaine finished. "And I was right."

"You always believed in me…" Kurt said, looking toward the New York landscape so Blaine wouldn't see his tears reflecting in the moonlight.

"Of course I did," Blaine replied and then his voice sounded different as he added, "You're Kurt Anderson-Hummel. You don't give up. Not without a fight anyway."

"Blaine…" Kurt murmured, pain lacerating his heart as he finally moved his head to look at Blaine who was staring right back at him. Blaine frowned before reaching out to trace a tear track on Kurt's cheek.

"What is it?" he whispered worriedly.

"I…" Kurt felt so excruciatingly depressed in that moment. He wanted to talk to past-Blaine so much about what present-Blaine had done. He wanted to tell Blaine that he was wrong. That Kurt had given up without a fight. That he'd been so hurt by Blaine's betrayal that he had given up on him—on them—the first chance he could get.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Blaine urged tenderly.

"It's…it's late," Kurt finally replied. "We should get to bed."

"Kurt…"

"C'mon," Kurt said, standing quickly before assisting Blaine. They made their way back to the apartment in silence though Kurt felt Blaine's eyes on him the entire time.

As he helped him get settled in his bed, Kurt was about to leave when he felt Blaine's restraining hand on his arm.

"Thank you," Blaine said. "Thanks for getting me out of the apartment for awhile. I really needed it."

"Yeah…me too," Kurt replied. "Goodnight Blaine."

"Goodnight."

Kurt was almost out of the room when Blaine spoke up again. "I'm glad we're doing this."

"What?"

"Being friends again. It's nice."

"Yeah…it is," Kurt agreed before leaving the room without another word.

Over the next few weeks they did their best to stay on friendly terms. When Kurt wasn't at the theatre, he spent all his free time with Blaine who blossomed under the attention. He started to get a healthier color in his cheeks and he seemed to be in less pain. Helga claimed it was because Blaine was happier and therefore his mental state had improved. Kurt put it down to nature taking its natural course in healing him.

But Blaine wasn't the only one happier. Kurt found himself smiling for the dumbest reasons, or sometimes for no reason at all. Rachel often commented lately on how he wasn't such an angry pain in the ass anymore. Kurt told her he was only happy that the play was doing so well, but they both knew he was lying.

In some ways, his healing friendship with Blaine reminded Kurt of the earliest stages of their relationship when Blaine was sweet and flirty, but completely oblivious to the fact that Kurt was falling for him—not that Kurt _was_ falling for him. Nope. He wasn't going down that road again. But it was really hard to resist his ex when Blaine took every opportunity to touch Kurt, whether it was the brush of his fingers across the back of his hand or sitting impossibly close to Kurt while they watched TV.

When Blaine wasn't flirting, he was being warm and attentive. He always listened with an understanding expression on his face whenever Kurt needed to gripe about some idiot in the audience who let his phone ring for half the first act, or Jesse deciding weeks into the show that the set and therefore all the blocking was wrong. Without even realizing it, Blaine somehow slipped past Kurt's defenses until the uncomfortable awkwardness between them was barely existent. Things were going well between them.

So well in fact that Kurt sometimes had to force himself to remember that none of it was real. He and Blaine weren't together anymore. They weren't even friends. He was reminded of that fact whenever Blaine would get a lost, confused expression on his face. Then Kurt would remind himself that when this was over—when Blaine remembered again—they wouldn't be friends. They would most likely never see each other again. And that thought made him sick. But he didn't push Blaine away despite his growing need for the other man.

Nine weeks after the accident, Blaine's leg had healed enough that the doctor decided to take the cast off and put a walking cast on him instead. Blaine's spirits were at an all time high as they left the doctor's office. Their steps were slow and Blaine grimaced every so often, but he refused to get a cab back to the apartment.

"Let's go to Central Park," he suggested, holding his cane in one hand and the camera bag he'd brought with him in the other. "I feel like it's been forever since I took any pictures."

"I still think we should go home," Kurt told him as he reached for the bag, putting the strap over his shoulder so he could carry it. Blaine reached for his other hand, clasping it tight.

"C'mon Kurt. Let's go see if our favorite bench is still there or if it's rusted away by now. It's been weeks since we've been there."

 _Years, actually_ , Kurt thought, but he consented. They didn't let go of each other's hand as they made their way to the park and found their favorite spot. Blaine grabbed his camera eagerly, taking pictures of the different scenes unfolding around them. A little kid crying over a dropped ice cream cone. A man playing Frisbee with his dog. The city was full of life, the park a green wonderland in the middle of a concrete jungle.

Kurt's phone beeped inside his pocket and he automatically tensed. Nelson still hadn't given up trying to get a hold of him. He knew he was going to have to put a stop to it soon, but he didn't really relish the thought of having to talk to his ex, especially when every spare moment he had was now spent with Blaine. When the phone rang a few seconds later, he relaxed, recognizing his dad's ringtone.

"Hey Dad," Kurt said as he got up from the bench and took a few steps away from Blaine who looked at him questioningly.

"So you _are_ alive," Burt replied and Kurt shifted guiltily. He still hadn't told his family that he'd been living with Blaine the past couple of months. As far as they knew, he was living at his place, helping out an injured friend whenever he had time. Not telling his father the truth was hard since he always told his dad everything. The only solution he could come up with was avoiding the older man.

"Sorry, I've been busy with the show," Kurt returned.

"And that's it? There's nothing else you want to tell me?" his father questioned and Kurt was put on instant alert. He glanced back at Blaine who had returned to taking pictures. He walked a little further away.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…we normally talk for a couple hours at least once a week. Whenever I'm able to get you on the phone lately, our conversations are fifteen minutes tops and you never really tell me anything."

"Dad, it's just been—"

"So naturally being the concerned, caring father that I am, I called Rachel."

Kurt's jaw snapped shut and even before his dad started speaking again, he silently cursed his friend.

"She told me an interesting story. That the friend you've been helping out is Blaine."

"I'm going to kill her," Kurt muttered.

"She didn't realize you hadn't told me the truth and unlike my son, she was a lot more forthcoming. For example, she told me that you were living with him again."

"Dad, it's not what you think—"

"Then you tell me what I'm supposed to think, Kurt," Burt interrupted harshly. "Why would you lie to me about this?"

"I never lied," Kurt said tersely. "I just neglected to tell you a few details."

"Did you think I'd be against you getting back together with Blaine?"

"We're not."

"What?"

Kurt checked to make sure he was distant enough from Blaine before he continued. "We're not together…." He proceeded to tell Burt everything. When he was finished his dad was so silent, Kurt wondered if their call got disconnected.

"Let me see if I've got this straight," Burt finally said. "You're pretending to be friends while also pretending to be his husband, and you've been living at his place ever since he got out of the hospital."

"That's the just of it."

"Wow, kid. You've got quite the mess on your hands," his dad stated before he chuckled.

"I'm glad you find this so funny," Kurt said in an affronted tone.

"Sorry…it's just always all or nothing with you, isn't it? You could have hired a live in nurse, but instead you move right in with the guy."

"You're taking this better than I thought you would," Kurt told him, feeling slightly hurt at the fact that his dad wasn't more upset on his behalf for the situation he was in.

"You know I've always loved Blaine," Burt said in a more serious tone. "And I thought you were good together. You're a grown man and you can make decisions on your own. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"I love you more than life, Kurt. And yes, this situation worries me, if you want the truth. I know how badly he hurt you before. Just be careful okay. I mean, how do you know he isn't faking the amnesia?"

"I don't…" Kurt admitted. "But the doctors say he's telling the truth."

"Well…I'll find out for myself soon enough."

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked.

"I've finally got my schedule clear. Carole and I are going to be in New York this weekend. We're coming to see the show and then it's time for me to spend some quality time with my son and ex son-in-law."

"Dad, I don't know…"

"See you on Saturday, kid," his father told him before hanging up.

Kurt stared down at his phone uneasily. He knew his dad cared about Blaine, but Burt Hummel was also very straight to the point. If he didn't like the situation, he wouldn't hold back. With Blaine's mind being so fragile, he didn't need either Burt or Carole saying something that would upset him.

He made his way over to Blaine who was packing up his camera. He gave Kurt a bright smile as he sat down next to him.

"That was your dad? How's he doing?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Kurt told him and Blaine stiffened.

"Oh?" he said, fiddling with the strap of the camera bag.

"He and Carole are coming into town this weekend to see my show."

"That's—uh-that's great. Maybe I can go with them. It'll give me a chance to finally see what you've been doing whenever you're not with me," Blaine said, grabbing his cane and standing up.

Kurt looked at him with a frown. Blaine's behavior was suddenly tense unlike the happy-go-lucky attitude he had earlier. They made their way back to the apartment building without another word.

As they got into the elevator, Kurt broke the silence and said, "Instead of cooking, why don't we get some Thai food for lunch?"

"Okay," Blaine replied, shifting slightly only to lose his balance, crash landing into Kurt. Kurt instantly wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist to steady him, turning so that they were chest to chest.

"Woah…careful there, slugger," he murmured.

"Oh…a sport's reference. Kinda hot," Blaine teased as he moved them so that Kurt's back was pressed against the elevator wall.

It was then that Kurt realized the precarious position Blaine had him in. He was trapped. With Blaine pressed so firmly against him, he couldn't move without potentially causing Blaine to fall. Their lips were only inches apart and the temptation to close the distance was almost more than he could bear.

Swallowing nervously, Kurt said, "You're flirting."

"Am I?" Blaine asked innocently as his eyes half closed, his focus shifting to Kurt's lips.

"Mmhmm. And friends don't flirt with each other."

"Sure they do," Blaine countered just as the elevator came to a halt, the doors opening with a ding. Blaine sighed regretfully before pulling away. "Saved by the bell."

Kurt didn't meet his gaze as he bent down and grabbed Blaine's cane which had fallen to the floor when he stumbled. Handing it back to him, they made their way to the apartment. Blaine hobbled over to the couch, his face now pale as Kurt put the camera bag away. He went into the kitchen to order the Thai food from a place right down the road. After being promised to have their meal delivered in ten minutes, he went over to where Blaine was sitting, his bad leg stretched out in front of him on the floor.

"Shouldn't you have that propped on the couch?" Kurt asked as he bent down to grab Blaine's leg. It wasn't the best position to be in. With cobra like reflexes, Blaine reached out and brought him down so fast that Kurt landed against his chest with an oof.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked right before he lightly smacked Blaine on the chest. "You jerk! What if I hurt you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me except the leg," Blaine reminded him, his arms wrapping around Kurt's waist shifting them so that Kurt's legs were between his, their chests and lower halves pressed together.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kurt asked, his voice coming out as a squeak as Blaine moved his head so that he could nuzzle Kurt's neck. Kurt's breath hitched as he said, "I thought you just wanted to be friends."

"How 'bout friends with benefits," Blaine murmured against his Adam's apple, before sucking on it lightly, causing Kurt to shiver.

"We don't—" _groan_ "—we don't have that kind of friendship."

"Well, we should," Blaine answered in a suddenly frustrated tone. "You're my husband, dammit. My very sexy, very beautiful…very unattainable husband."

"I'm not u-unattainable," Kurt stuttered, losing his concentration as Blaine thrust against him, letting him feel his need. Kurt's own body responded and he pushed down, causing them both to gasp.

"Prove it," Blaine replied, his voice a mix of desire and amusement. Kurt bristled. If there was one thing about him, he hated to back down when challenged.

Forgetting the fact that he wanted to be unattainable to Blaine, he rolled his hips, needing Blaine to react—to lose control. Something uncomfortable pressed into his side and he reached into his pocket and threw his keys and cell phone on the table next to the couch. Blaine copied him, pulling his phone out of his pocket and throwing it on the table before reaching for Kurt again. Their lips met heatedly, their tongues dancing together. Kurt hardened even further as their bodies rocked against each other.

"What brought…oh fuck that feels good…what brought this on?" Kurt managed to ask.

"It's my first day without that stupid cast. I want to enjoy it," Blaine replied huskily.

"And that's all?" Kurt questioned, pulling back slightly as he forced himself to focus. Blaine's eyelids instantly fluttered down, hiding his gaze from Kurt's. When he didn't respond, Kurt prompted, "Because you've been acting weird since my dad called."

"I…"

"What?" Kurt asked when Blaine didn't continue.

"I guess I was just thinking how much I'm looking forward to your parents' visit. Cause they'll have to stay in the guest room and you'll be back in my bed where you belong."

Kurt's stomach flipped. "They can stay at my—I mean, they can stay at a hotel."

"Why?" Blaine said in a hardening voice. "Why shouldn't they stay here? That's the whole reason we got a two bedroom apartment in the first place. So that our out-of-town guests could have a place to stay. Not so you could use it as an excuse to stay away from me."

"I don't think we're ready to share that level of intimacy," Kurt replied, pulling back so that he was sitting on the edge of the couch. Blaine sat up as well and ran a weary hand through his hair.

"Are we ever going to be at that level? Kurt—I love you. I don't want to be just your friend. I'm willing to fix whatever is wrong with our relationship, but I don't want to lose us— _married us_ —either."

"I—" He was saved from responding by a knock on the door. "That must be the food," he explained in relief.

Blaine nodded, looking disappointed that their conversation was interrupted. Kurt grabbed some money and went to pay for their meal. After getting the food, he went back into the living room, carrying a brown take-out bag.

"Did you want the chicken or the beef?" he asked, opening the bag and smelling inside, his stomach growling in appreciation. When Blaine didn't answer, he glanced up and found him sitting stiffly on the couch, both feet on the floor, his face stark white. He had his phone clutched in his hand and Kurt felt a horrible sense of foreboding.

"Blaine…what is it? Is it your parents? Is it Coop?"

Blaine jerked at the sound of his voice but didn't answer.

"Blaine…you're starting to scare me, honey." Kurt reached out to grab the phone from him to see if he could figure out who called, but Blaine snatched it to his chest, his grip so tight on it his knuckles turned white.

That was when Kurt took a good hard look at the phone. He then glanced over at the other cell which had been thrown on the table next to the couch in the heat of passion. Blaine's phone was sitting next to Kurt's house keys.

"Why do you have my phone?" he questioned nervously, a strange sense of déjà-vu hitting him.

Blaine finally looked at him then and Kurt wished he hadn't.

And that was before Blaine asked, "Who's Nelson?"


	8. Chapter 8

"What did you ask me?" Kurt questioned in a high, panicked voice.

"It's a simple enough question, Kurt," Blaine replied shortly. "Who the fuck is Nelson?"

"Why are you going through my phone?" Kurt evaded, going over to the kitchen bar and putting the take out on it.

"It beeped and I thought it was mine. I read the text before I realized I had your phone."

Kurt raised his chin as he walked over to Blaine and held out his hand. "Well, since it's not your phone, can I have it back please?"

"Tell me who Nelson is first."

Kurt's expression turned glacial. "Haven't we been through this once before? Are you going to break out into a Whitney song next—"

"Why won't you tell me who he is?" Blaine suddenly yelled, standing to his feet unsteadily.

"Because you're not ready for that!" Kurt yelled back before slapping his hand over his mouth in instant regret.

"I'm not ready…" Blaine scoffed bitterly as he pulled the phone away and began to read. " _Kurt, I miss you. I miss being inside you. I love you so much. Call me when you get this."_

Kurt's face flushed in embarrassment. He was going to kill Nelson.

Blaine stared at the phone almost absently as he said, "Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not ready."

Before Kurt could even guess his intention, Blaine threw the cell hard across the room. Kurt watched in horror as it hit the brick wall, shattering into pieces.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Kurt screamed before running over to pick up the broken remains of his phone.

"Just tell me one thing," Blaine said behind him and something in his tone made Kurt snap his head in his direction. Tears shimmered in Blaine's eyes turning them into liquid honey. "Sometime in the last three years…did I lose you?"

"You'll never lose me," Kurt whispered before he could stop himself.

"But…you're involved with this guy."

"No." Kurt could answer that question with absolute honesty. And after tonight's stunt, he was going to make sure Nelson never bothered them again.

"You were though," Blaine stated factually, but Kurt could hear his underlining pain. He swallowed guilty before realizing the irony of it all. Blaine had betrayed him—had betrayed their marriage vows—and he was acting like it was Kurt who had committed infidelity. Of course, in Blaine's mind, Kurt _was_ the one who cheated. He shook his head at the whole cursed situation before turning to stare out the window.

"Please Kurt," Blaine begged. "I need to know. I need to know the truth."

Defeat pressed down on Kurt's shoulders as he watched the afternoon sun glint off the windows on the buildings across the street. How long could they keep playing this game of make believe? How long could they go on like this?

He closed his eyes briefly. The fact was they couldn't. They couldn't keep going like this. If the recent renewal of their friendship had taught Kurt anything, it was that Blaine deserved better than what he was getting. They had always been brutally honest with each other. And Blaine deserved the truth now.

"Okay," Kurt finally said, resolved. "I'll tell you what you want to know."

He turned and put his broken phone on a nearby table before taking a seat in one of the room's armchairs, gesturing for Blaine to sit back down on the couch. He did so, clasping his hands together before he asked, "Are you with Nelson?"

"I was," Kurt admitted slowly, watching for signs that Blaine might lose it again. The only reaction he got was a tear escaping down Blaine's cheek, which he brushed impatiently away.

"But you're not now?"

"No. I'm not with him anymore."

"Oh…" Blaine was silent for a moment before he let out a little laugh, shaking his head in self-mockery. "You know, I really thought…hoped…"

"What?"

"Doesn't matter," he replied tightly. "We're through, aren't we?"

Kurt snorted. He couldn't help it. Blaine flashed him another hurt look.

"You and I…we'll never be through," Kurt stated, his heart heavy as his brain acknowledged the truth in those words.

"Then why?"

Now this was the tricky part. Kurt was willing to answer Blaine's questions. But Blaine wasn't looking so good right now. His skin was pale, his expression shaken. His doctor's warning echoed in Kurt's head. If he told Blaine everything, would Blaine be freed with the knowledge? Or would he be traumatized for life? Kurt clasped his own hands together, staring down at his knuckles in concentration.

"You were right before," he said slowly. "When you asked me if we'd had trouble. We were…separated for awhile."

"Why?"

"Honey, we've been together for years. We started to want different things. So we…we decided to take a break to see if we really wanted this relationship or not." And it was a good thing he didn't believe in hell, because he'd probably being going there for all the lying he was doing.

"And that's when you met…"

"Yes."

"Oh," Blaine replied, looking queasy. "So…do you love him?"

"No."

"Then why would you sleep with him?" Blaine snapped as he stood up again and began to pace, limping heavily. "Actually, forget I asked that. I don't want to know."

"Sit down before you hurt your leg," Kurt instructed and Blaine looked at him with that look on his face—like Kurt had stabbed him right in the fucking heart. He ignored Kurt's demand and walked uneasily over to the window.

"Why are you here?" he asked so quietly Kurt had to strain to hear him.

When he finally comprehended what Blaine said, his heart dropped. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…why are you here? You don't want to be. Your behavior since the accident has proven that. So why are you really here, Kurt?"

"I'm here because you need me."

"Not because you want to be," Blaine concluded.

"Don't put words into my mouth," Kurt retorted.

"God I'm such a fucking idiot," Blaine stated, running a hand through his hair. "You don't want to be with me. I sometimes wonder if you ever did."

Kurt never handled being attacked well. He always had a tendency to go on the defensive. If he'd been in a better frame of mind, he would have asked Blaine what he meant. But he didn't. Between his guilt—and yes the panic that was quickly rising in him at the sight of Blaine visibly distancing himself from him—Kurt lashed out in typical fashion.

"Don't you dare play the victim when you're the one—" His jaw clenched shut before he could say anything else.

"One what?" Blaine asked, swinging around to stare at Kurt. Kurt merely raised his chin. Blaine took a couple of wobbly steps toward him and stopped, eyeing him closely. "What were you going to say, Kurt?"

"It doesn't matter."

Blaine's gaze grew intent as he took in Kurt's expression. "Obviously it does."

"You…you dated too," Kurt whisperingly confessed.

Blaine instantly shook his head in denial. "No…I wouldn't do that." When Kurt didn't say anything, only crossed his arms over his chest, Blaine shouted, "I wouldn't do that to you! I—"

Kurt could hear the pain behind the bravado and it made him tear up. "Look, it doesn't matter," he said gently. "We're together now—"

"Are we?" Blaine wondered, his voice speculative.

"Yes," Kurt said firmly. He didn't know why he didn't just tell the truth—the whole truth, but it was suddenly imperative to him that he didn't. Kurt wasn't ready to lose this. As eager as he'd once been for this moment, he wasn't ready for whatever was happening between him and Blaine to be over just yet. He wasn't ready to let go of the fantasy.

"Yeah, I can tell we're together. That must be why you won't share my bed," Blaine said sarcastically.

"I…I just thought we shouldn't sleep together until you got your memory back."

Blaine opened his mouth as if to say something, before letting out a tired sigh. He grabbed his cane and walked slowly to Kurt, surprising him by pressing their lips together lightly. Before Kurt could deepen the kiss, Blaine pulled back.

"You better get going," he said lifelessly. "You don't want to be late for the show."

Without another word, he headed for the apartment exit.

"Where are you going?" Kurt called out desperately.

"I need some space to process all this," Blaine told him not looking back. "I'm sorry about your phone. I'll buy you a new one."

"Blaine—"

Kurt watched him leave the apartment in shock. What the hell just happened? Walking over to the couch on weak legs, he collapsed on it before covering his face with his hands. He wondered briefly if this is what Blaine had felt like—watching Kurt leave after he'd found out about Blaine's betrayal, their relationship destroyed. Kurt felt wetness on his hands and pulled them away, barely registering that he was crying.

Feeling out of sorts and bone tired, he got up and took a long shower, turning his face up to the gentle spray of water. He took his time getting ready for the theatre, hoping that Blaine would come back. He didn't. When Kurt couldn't put it off any longer, he left, doing the performance that night on autopilot. Luckily, Jesse and Rachel were so preoccupied with each other, they didn't realize that Kurt's performance was less than stellar.

As soon as the show was done, he hurried home. Entering the apartment, he called out, "Blaine?"

Silence greeted him. Dread and worry filled him as he ran to Blaine's room. It was empty. Kurt walked slowly back to the living room and looked around. Propped up on the kitchen bar was a new cell phone and a note.

_Sorry again about the phone. The SIM card in your old phone wasn't damaged so I had them load your information into the new one. I'm staying at Cooper's place for awhile. I need more time._

_~ Blaine_

Kurt felt strangely numb as he read and re-read the note. He looked around the apartment. This was Blaine's home now—not Kurt's but Blaine's—and he had driven him from it with the truth. Kurt cursed himself. They had been so happy the last month. It had been just like old times—the good times. But because he had been dumb enough to reveal just a tiny portion of the ugliness that had happened between them, he ruined everything. It was remarkable how much that hurt.

Kurt went into his room and changed into the boxers and t-shirt he liked to sleep in. He rubbed at his chest absently as he stood next to the bed. There was an ache in his heart area that had been persistently bothering him since Blaine left. How easy it had been for Blaine to work his way back into that region.

He sat on the edge of the bed, his shoulders slumped. The emptiness of the apartment seemed to taunt Kurt. God, it had only been a few hours and he missed Blaine so fucking much.

Blaine's recovery had been progressing so well lately that they had dispensed with Helga's services a couple weeks ago. In a way it was nice. As much as they both liked the nurse, it had been so much easier to relax around each other without any third party observing their every move. Blaine would wait up for Kurt after every show and they would spend that time talking—and getting to know one another again. It had increasingly become Kurt's favorite part of the day.

Rage took hold of him suddenly and swiftly. Though it was past midnight now, he went into the living room and quickly dialed his phone. Nelson answered on the second ring.

"Kurt, baby—"

"Listen and listen good because I'm only going to say this once. We are _through_. We're not getting back together. Stop texting me. Stop calling me. If you contact me one more time, I'm going to get a restraining order against you. And if you contact me after that, I'll have you arrested. Is that clear?"

"Kurt—"

"Goodbye Nelson." He hit the end button with little satisfaction and almost gave into the urge to pull a Blaine and throw his new phone against the wall. The reminder of Blaine only made the ache in his heart worse. Rubbing his face wearily, he went into Blaine's room and crawled under the sheets. He was instantly surrounded by Blaine's familiar scent. Kurt grabbed the pillow and buried his face in it, but the gesture did nothing to drown out the sound of his sobs.

The next morning he woke with a dull headache and crusty eyes. He went into the bathroom and took a quick shower before pacing around the apartment. He continued to walk back and forth until he came up with a good enough excuse to contact Blaine.

Too nervous to actually call him, he texted him instead. _Don't forget about your physical therapy appointment today at 11 AM._

When the phone rang a minute later, Kurt answered it eagerly, not even looking to see who it was.

"Good morning," Rachel said.

"What do you want?" Kurt questioned impatiently.

"Well aren't you a ray of sunshine this morning."

"Sorry…" Kurt said with a sigh. "I was expecting a call."

"Oh…do tell."

"Friggin' Nelson texted me yesterday and Blaine saw it. He knows that I dated someone. And I got pissed and ended up telling him he dated someone, too. He didn't take it so well."

"You told him about Sebastian?" Rachel asked incredulously.

"No, I just said that he dated," Kurt told her in annoyance. Hearing Sebastian's name made his blood instantly boil.

"What did Blaine do?"

"He stayed the night at Cooper's."

"What are you going to do?"

"What can I do? He said he wanted space."

"Kurt…I'm confused. Isn't this what you want?" Rachel questioned but there was just a tiny bit of smugness in her voice which Kurt ignored.

"I…I don't know anymore," he answered truthfully

"Would it be so bad to give Blaine a second chance?" she asked gently.

"Every time I ask myself that same question, I have to remind myself that this isn't real. It's not _real_ , Rachel. The Blaine I'm living with isn't the Blaine that's existed the past three years. I don't know that Blaine anymore."

"Yes, you do," Rachel argued. "The Blaine that's existed the last three years is the same Blaine who barely dates because the men he goes out with aren't you. He's the Blaine that goes to see the shows of his ex-husband in secret and then holds onto the playbills for years. You know this Blaine. He's the same Blaine you fell in love with years ago. He might be a little tarnished, but he's still _your_ Blaine."

"Rach…I'm…" But Kurt couldn't go on. Couldn't admit why he was so reluctant to give Blaine a second chance. Changing the subject, he said, "Thanks by the way for telling my dad that I was living with Blaine."

"How was I supposed to know you hadn't told your dad yet? It's been almost two months and you usually tell your dad everything."

"Yeah, yeah…so was there a reason you were calling me so early?"

"Jesse wants to make another change."

Kurt groaned in response. They talked for several more minutes before they ended the call. Kurt, needing to burn off some nervous energy, changed clothes and went for a jog in Central Park. He kept his phone on hand in case Blaine called, but he never did. The day passed slowly before he headed over to the theatre, getting there early so that he could deal with more of Jesse's bullshit.

When the show finally ended that night, Kurt made his way to his dressing room, feeling dreary. After taking a quick shower, he grabbed his phone, checking it out of habit. His heart lurched when he saw he had a text from Blaine.

_Physical therapy went good—painful—but good. Thanks for the reminder._

His spirits lifted as he ran his thumb across the text. He went back to the apartment and watched TV for a bit before climbing into Blaine's bed and falling asleep. The next morning Kurt decided that he absolutely needed to do his laundry and since he was doing it, he might as well text Blaine and ask him if he needed anything washed. This time the response was instant.

_Kurt, I'm fine. Stop worrying about me._

Kurt smiled a little at that but didn't write anything back. The following day, Kurt woke up with the realization that his parents would be in town the next night and he still didn't know where to put them. Normally, they stayed with Kurt, but given the circumstances he didn't think it was appropriate to bring them to Blaine's. He got dressed and headed over to his apartment. The building manager met him before he could even step three feet into the entryway.

"Mr. Hummel, how good to see you again," the man said, shaking Kurt's hand.

"You too," he replied, feeling confused. Normally Kurt never saw the guy. The manager liked to give his clientele the privacy they craved.

"Are you returning for a short visit?" the manager asked nervously.

"My parents are coming into town. I want to get things set up for them to stay here."

"Oh…that's unfortunate timing."

"What are you talking about?" Kurt questioned.

"Well…" the man pulled a handkerchief out of his front pocket and patted his forehead. "It seems there is a problem with your floor?"

"My floor specifically?"

"Yes sir."

"What happened?" Kurt asked, pictures of water damage and costly repairs running rampant through his mind.

"It appears a potential client's representative came to view a property on your floor and they found r-rodents."

"Rodents…" Kurt repeated in disbelief. He'd lived in this building ever since the divorce. There had never been one sign of rats.

"Yes…it's deeply embarrassing and management is taking care of the matter swiftly, I can assure you, but your floor is being fumigated."

"Yeah…that is unfortunate timing," Kurt said slowly, his mind growing suspicious. "Out of curiosity, who was the client?"

"I'm afraid I can't disclose that."

"Who am I going to tell?" Kurt replied, giving the manager his signature smile which had charmed countless people backstage and during red carpet events. "I'm just wondering who my new neighbor might be."

"Oh…well, if it's for that purpose…" the manager looked around before saying lowly. "It was a representative for Cooper Anderson…you know, the actor?"

"I see," Kurt said, barely able to control his rage. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go up to my apartment now."

"But sir…the rats!"

"Trust me, there aren't any rats here." The bastard rat was overseas currently wrapping up a movie. Kurt stormed into his apartment and pulled out his phone. He paced in front of his window until Cooper picked up.

"Kurt! How's it going?"

"Are you telling me," Kurt answered instead, "that you're seriously interested in giving up your penthouse apartment—the one that offers scenic views of the Statue of Liberty—so that you can move into my apartment building?"

"Real estate is a hobby of mine," Cooper answered innocently.

"Getting my floor fumigated. That was a nice touch," Kurt added sarcastically.

"Are they doing that?" Copper laughed.

"Why?"

"I don't know what you're accusing me of Kurt, but the accusation I can hear in your voice hurts. My assistant thought she saw rats. She was just doing her duty as a concerned citizen to report the issue."

"And when did she notice this issue?"

"A few days ago."

"The day Blaine and I got into our fight," Kurt replied angrily.

"You two got into a fight? Well…this is awkward then."

"Bullshit. It's you interfering again."

"Would I do anything to protect my baby brother? Absolutely. But that's not what happened here. There were—"

"Rats, I know," Kurt muttered. "You know, you didn't have to go this far. I wasn't planning on leaving him."

" _Realllly_?" Cooper said, drawing out the word in a way that made Kurt roll his eyes.

"Yes really. And no, I'm not telling you anything else."

"Party pooper. So you and Blainers—rekindling the romance, are ya?"

"Goodbye Coop. I hope you hit turbulence the whole way home."

"Not nice, Kurt—"

Kurt hung up before he could say anything else. Sighing and still feeling slightly annoyed, he headed over to the theatre for the matinee show. When he got home after the evening performance that night, he put fresh sheets on the spare bed and moved his things into Blaine's room.

The next day he sent Blaine a tentative text letting him know his parents were going to be staying with them. He hoped that Blaine would respond, but there was nothing. Kurt tried his best not to feel too disappointed as he rechecked an email his father sent him confirming their flight arrival. After doing another matinee show, he rushed to the airport, his phone in his pocket in case Blaine called. His parents arrived in a rush of hugs and happy tears. They hailed a cab back to the apartment with Carole showing Kurt all the latest pictures of Finn's son—not that he wasn't completely up-to-date on Christopher's latest growth spurt.

They were in the middle of planning a shopping trip when Burt interrupted, "Why do you look like you've recently been to hell and back, Kurt?"

"It's nothing, Dad," he assured him.

"What is it, honey?" Carole encouraged as she examined Kurt's face.

"Everything's fine. I promise," Kurt lied and Burt's eyes narrowed. No matter how skilled an actor Kurt was, he was never able to fool his father.

"Kurt…" Burt drawled.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Blaine and I are having a little trouble right now."

Both his parents looked at him impassively. Carole turned sympathetic as she patted his hand and said, "Sweetie, isn't that why you got divorced?"

"Yeah…I mean no…I…" Kurt slouched and put his head on his dad's shoulder, not caring that he was too old for that kind of thing.

"Start at the beginning," Burt instructed.

"A few days ago, Blaine saw a text Nelson sent me. He was able to quickly deduce that I'd been involved with Nelson and I ended up telling him the truth—well, sort of the truth."

"What do you mean?" Carole asked.

"I told him we separated for awhile and we dated other people."

"How'd Blaine react?" Burt wondered.

"He…he was devastated. He said he needed space. He's been staying at Cooper's ever since." Kurt closed his eyes and slumped against his father even further.

"I see," Burt said slowly. Kurt didn't bother to ask what his father meant. Burt always saw too much. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"Why do people keep asking me that?" Kurt muttered. "Like I'm supposed to have all the answers."

"Isn't he the one with amnesia?" Carole reminded him gently.

"Yeah…and I'm supposed to be helping him, which I can't do if he won't even talk to me," Kurt complained as the cab pulled up to the apartment building.

"Kurt, I'm confused," his dad said. "Didn't you tell me earlier this week that you two weren't together like that?"

"So?"

"So…maybe it's a good thing this happened. If you don't want to be with him get out now before you get in too deep."

_I'm already in way too deep. I'm fucking drowning._

Kurt shrugged, trying to be as indifferent as possible. "I just want to know he's okay."

He got out of the car and grabbed the largest suitcase and entered the building with his parents following closely behind. In need of a change of subject, Kurt spoke about his plans for them as they took the elevator up.

"I've got to be back at the theatre in about an hour, but I figured you'd be too tired from the trip to see tonight's show. I made a pasta salad for you, which is in the fridge and there's wine—only one glass for you, Dad—but then I can show you around tomorrow. Jesse agreed to let my understudy take the Saturday matinee. We can spend the afternoon getting caught up and then you can see the night show—"

Kurt walked into the apartment, coming to a complete stop as he entered the living room. Blaine got up from the chair he was in, using his cane to support himself.

"You're here," Kurt stated dumbly.

Burt watched the exchange between his son and former son-in-law with speculative eyes. He wondered if Kurt even realized how his body relaxed at the sight of Blaine. Or how Blaine's eyes were glued to Kurt's face, even when Kurt lowered his gaze to the floor.

"I got your text," Blaine replied before looking nervously at the two silent spectators standing in the archway of the room. "Hello Carole…Burt. It's good to see you again."

"Blaine." Burt nodded as he watched the younger man like a cop observing a suspect. Carole nudged him gently in the stomach before rushing over to Blaine. She threw her arms around him, hugging him close.

"Sweetie, how're you doing?" she murmured as she leaned back to cup Blaine's cheek. She made a tsking noise as her eyes traced the scars on his face. She shook her head worriedly as she reached up and touched the more recent mark on his forehead. "I assume this was from the mugging. How'd you get the other one?"

"I guess my job is a little more hazardous these days," Blaine told her, though when he glanced Kurt's way, there was new understanding on his face. Kurt looked away guiltily.

"I don't know," Burt said, breaking the tension. "I heard working in the fashion industry can be dangerous. All those crazy models."

Blaine laughed a little unsurely. "Yeah, I had one or two shoes thrown at my head over time."

"And how are you feeling overall?" Carole asked, the nurse in her wanting to analyze every detail of Blaine's recovery.

"I'm mending," Blaine told her before looking at Kurt again. "Slowly but surely, I'm getting there."

"I…I'll put your bags in the guest room," Kurt announced as he took the suitcase Burt was holding along with the bigger bag he already had into his former bedroom. He placed them on the bed and took a few steadying breaths before he went back into the living room. Blaine had resumed his seat in the chair. Burt was on one end of the couch with Carole leaning against him, her feet curled beside her on the cushion.

"So aside from the leg, the only long term effect I seem to be suffering from is the memory loss," Blaine was explaining to Burt and Carole as Kurt took a seat next to his stepmom.

"And you don't remember anything at all?" Burt inquired, his voice suspicious.

"Dad…" Kurt interjected but everyone ignored him.

"I…I remember some things," Blaine admitted, getting Kurt's attention.

"Like what?" he demanded.

"I remember when I got this," Blaine said, running his finger across the old scar along his jaw. "I got caught in the middle of a riot. Someone had a knife. They were aiming for my throat but somebody stepped in the way and they only got my face. The other person wasn't so lucky…"

Blaine trailed off, his expression miserable at the memory. Kurt felt the blood drain out of his face at thought of how close Blaine had been to death.

"What else to you remember?" Carole encouraged.

"I remember…" Blaine started to say but stopped, his eyes fluttering down. He finally said, "Not much. It's like I told Kurt before. I remember more feelings than actual memories. Sometimes I think I remember something, but it's like looking through foggy glass. I see shadows but nothing concrete."

"Hmph…" Burt said.

Kurt looked from his parents—Burt who still looked doubtful and Carole who just looked uncomfortable— to Blaine who looked strained.

"Well," he said, his voice like a gunshot in the quiet room making them all jump. "I've got to get going or Jesse will have my head on a platter." He got up and hugged his parents, whispering in his dad's ear, "Play nice."

He walked over to Blaine more hesitantly. "So…I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah," Blaine answered, giving Kurt a determined look. "I'm not going anywhere."

And something in the way he said it made Kurt feel a whole lot better about leaving him behind with the firing squad. He headed for the theatre, for once in his life wanting a performance to be over and done with. As soon as the show was finished, he jumped in the shower, forgoing his usual skin care regime in order to get home quickly. When he walked back into the apartment, he wasn't sure what he expected. Bloodshed…his father attempting to choke the life out of Blaine…

Instead he found Burt and Blaine sitting on the couch, their feet propped up on the table in front of them, a bowl of popcorn between them. They were watching some sports movie that always put Kurt to sleep.

"This is seriously the best part of the movie," Blaine said, drinking a swig of beer.

"Agreed," Burt replied gruffly, taking a sip from the cup he had on the table next to him.

"That better be non-alcohol, Dad," Kurt warned in way of announcing himself.

They both turned toward him, the happy smile on Blaine's face widening when he saw Kurt there. Kurt tried not to stare too much at the sight of those tilted up lips.

"It's fruit punch," Burt grumbled, eyeing Blaine's beer with longing before he said, "How'd it go tonight?"

"Fine," Kurt responded before looking around. "Where's Carole?"

"Bed, which is probably where I ought to be headed," Burt said as he stood up with a stretch. He reached over and squeezed Blaine's shoulder. "It's been good catching up, kid."

"You too," Blaine said, getting up to hug Kurt's father.

As Burt let go and walked by Kurt, he looked at his dad with a raised eyebrow. Burt stopped next to him with an innocent, "What?"

"What indeed," Kurt murmured.

Burt chuckled and hugged Kurt. "Sleep tight."

"You too, Dad." He waited until Burt went into the guest room before he turned to face Blaine who was staring at him. "How did you…?"

"What?" Blaine asked.

_Get my dad to treat you like nothing ever happened between us._

"Nothing," Kurt finally said before walking toward Blaine cautiously. "I wasn't too sure that you'd come back."

"Well…" Blaine replied sheepishly. "I got your text that your parents were in town. I didn't want to embarrass you in front of them."

"How would you embarrass me in front of my parents?"

Blaine looked at him in confusion. "Wouldn't it have been awkward if your husband wasn't there to greet them? If we're back on track like you said we were, that is."

"Oh…right," Kurt said, not meeting Blaine's eyes.

Blaine sighed before he reached out and clasped Kurt's chin, forcing him to look up. "We need to talk."

"I know," Kurt whispered.

"But not tonight," Blaine told him, letting go of his chin. "You look exhausted and I feel like shit myself. You can go ahead and take the bedroom. I'll sleep out here."

"No," Kurt said instantly.

"Kurt, if you're worried about the leg, I'll be fine on the couch—"

"It's not that," Kurt replied. "It's just…I don't want my parents to get the wrong idea that things aren't fine between us."

It was flimsy at best and given the way Blaine was looking at him he knew he wasn't buying it either. But Blaine merely nodded, gesturing for Kurt to head for the bedroom before he reached down and grabbed his cane, following slowly behind. Kurt grabbed his pajamas where he'd stored them earlier. Blaine looked at them and then Kurt, an adorable quirk forming on his lips.

"When did you move your stuff back in here?"

"Last night when I was getting the guest bedroom ready," Kurt answered as he made his way toward the bathroom. He paused before looking back at Blaine. "Do you want to get ready first?"

"Thanks," Blaine accepted. He went into the bathroom and shut the door. Kurt turned back the sheets on the bed before he sat down, nervously stroking the soft cotton material.

He was going to share a bed with Blaine tonight. It would be the first time in three years. Kurt didn't know why, but he suddenly felt like a virgin on his wedding night. Not that they were going to have sex.

When Blaine entered the bedroom again, he was in nothing but his boxers. Kurt really wanted to avert his eyes from Blaine's well muscled chest, but even a nuclear blast going off nearby wouldn't have been enough to make him look away.

"You can go in now," Blaine said, amusement heavily lacing his voice and Kurt scurried out of the room, his face on fire.

By the time he was done brushing his teeth and giving his skin the care it deserved, Blaine was already in bed. Kurt swallowed nervously as he slid in the sheets next to him. He reached over and turned off the bedside lamp, encasing the room in darkness. He laid there tense, not knowing what to expect.

He almost jumped out of his skin when Blaine sighed next to him before saying, "Goodnight Kurt."

"N-night," Kurt stammered.

They laid in silence for several more minutes before Kurt finally got the courage to say what he wanted. He didn't know why it was so important, given the circumstances. He just knew he had to say it.

"Hey Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming back."

Kurt felt sudden movement and jerked when Blaine's hand nudged his where it lay next to his side. Blaine interlaced their fingers together and the comforting presence made Kurt instantly relax, contentedness flowing over him as soothingly as a gentle breeze.

"You're welcome," Blaine finally responded.

It wasn't a big long speech nor was it the talk they desperately needed to have.

But in the dark silence of the room, they were connected and it was enough. For now.


	9. Chapter 9

The heat was what woke Kurt up. He felt like he had wrapped himself around a giant, thermal teddy bear. Except a teddy bear didn't give him a raging hard-on and smell like lemon soap. He pressed his nose against the source, breathing deep, and the teddy bear murmured incoherently. Kurt's eyes flew open, his mind muddled. A contented smile appeared on his lips as he realized it was Blaine in his arms, his chest plastered against Blaine's back.

His arm tightened around him as Kurt pressed his lips into the exposed neck just within his mouth's reach. He licked lightly at the salty skin and Blaine moaned in appreciation. Kurt answered by thrusting his lower half against him, pressing his rigidness against Blaine who responded by curving into him. Kurt's hand started drifting from his husband's waist to lower, wanting—needing—to touch the arousal he knew awaited him. But before he could make contact, a noise in the kitchen had him freezing. He blinked in confusion when he heard Carole and his dad's lowered voices. Why were his parents there?

And then the present came rushing back to him. He should not be touching Blaine like this. This wasn't one of their typical lazy Saturday mornings where they spent half the day in bed. Hell, they shouldn't even be _sharing_ the same bed. He jerked back, freeing his other arm which Blaine was using as a pillow.

"Why'd you stop?" Blaine asked, his voice slurred with sleepy need.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, ignoring the desire still urging him to go back to Blaine and finish what they started. "I forgot myself."

Blaine rolled on his back, confusion wrinkling his forehead before realization dawned on him. "Right…I forgot, too."

They stared at each other awkwardly. For the first time since Blaine's accident, Kurt felt like they were in present time, not living in the past. Blaine now knew that their relationship was tainted. They seemed to be mentally circling each other—both unsure how to get back to the comfort zone they'd been living in the past two months.

"Well…I guess I should go make breakfast for my parents," Kurt finally said, slowly pushing the covers away and standing up. When Blaine didn't move, he asked, "You coming?"

An ironic smile appeared on his face. "Not right now."

He waved at his lower half, his good leg hunched up to hide the evidence of his arousal. Kurt felt his eyes drawn to that area before he forced himself to walk. "Right…I'll just—uh—I'll meet you out in the kitchen when you're ready."

He was almost to the bathroom door when Blaine said, "Kurt."

"Yeah," he answered, turning back around. The morning light was filtering through the blinds, warming Blaine's features. Damn…would Kurt ever get over how beautiful this guy was? It was seriously unfair. Not to mention his body was currently throwing the mother of all temper tantrums. He literally ached all over, his need for Blaine painful.

When it came to the bedroom, he and Blaine were always so in sync…so perfect together. The last time Kurt felt any satisfaction in bed was with the guy he was currently walking away from. And his body dammed well knew it. It was like he'd been starving for years and the most delicious feast was right in front of him—his for the taking—and he was too stupid to go for it.

"I still want to talk," Blaine said, interrupting his mental tirade.

Kurt was busy watching the way Blaine's mouth formed the words; the way his lips caressed each syllable and vowel he spoke. Kurt's tongue pressed to the outside of his own mouth, his head tilting slightly as he stared.

"Kurt?" Blaine said though there was amusement in his tone.

"Hmm?"

"Talk…you and me…"

Wait…was Blaine laughing at him? Kurt met Blaine's knowing stare. Oh yeah, he was definitely laughing at him. There was also desire there as Blaine's eyes ran over the evidence of Kurt's arousal.

Kurt forced himself to focus. "Right-talk. Talking's good." Yep…talking was much better than kissing plushy lips…delicious necks…hard coc—shit! "Talking. You're right. We should definitely…talk. But not right now."

"When then?"

"After my parents are gone."

"Okay."

"Okay." Kurt nodded dumbly before he got his brain to function. With a nod at Blaine, he went into the bathroom, turning the shower on ice cold before stepping inside. Even the frigid temperature couldn't give him relief, so he took care of business himself. He bit back a moan as he came all over the shower wall.

Holy shit. It was a good thing his parents were leaving tomorrow and he'd be able to return to the other room. One night in Blaine's bed and his dick took over all his thinking. And Blaine—the irresistible swine—knew it. Kurt never had been able to resist those eyes…or lips…or body…shit, shit, shit.

_Kurt, focus!_

And Blaine had taken advantage of the situation. The way he'd pressed himself against Kurt in bed moments ago had been such a bitch move. He knew how much Kurt loved sex first thing in the morning. Yep, it was all Blaine's fault. Just because Kurt was relieved that Blaine had come back to him last night didn't mean he wanted to jump him. Right? Right.

_You seriously are an idiot._

Sighing, Kurt left the shower once he got his body under control and quickly got dressed. He didn't meet Blaine's eyes as he left the bedroom and went into the kitchen to find his parents sipping coffee at the breakfast bar.

"Good morning," he said as he grabbed a cup of coffee and drank it gratefully.

"Morning," his father said with a smirk. "Don't you look well rested. Have a good night sleep, did we?"

"Burt," Carole said, elbowing his side.

Kurt glared at his dad. "Yeah, I slept fine." Glancing at the bedroom door where Blaine was still hiding out, he said lowly, "So what made you and Blaine so chummy last night. I thought you didn't trust him."

"Ah hell, you know I've always had a soft spot for that kid," Burt said, rubbing his cheek sheepishly. "We got to talking and it was like I was talking to the Blaine I've known for years. What can I say? I missed the guy."

"Tell me about it," Kurt grumbled. Blaine had been such an important part of their lives for so long. As he stared at his father's now solemn face, it truly hit Kurt that he wasn't the only one who'd lost when he got divorced. His parents loved Blaine. They always had. They missed him almost as much as Kurt had in the years they were separated. Now that Blaine was back—even if it was temporarily until he got his memory back—it was like their family was whole again.

And speak of the devil, Blaine came out of the bedroom, his hair curly and wet from his shower. He came into the kitchen, leaning heavily on his cane, but a smile was lighting up his face.

"Good morning," he said as he took a sip of coffee from Kurt's cup, ignoring his protest. "So what's on the agenda today?"

"I was going to make an omelet and then I thought we could spend some time in Central Park," Kurt said. "That is, if your leg is up to it."

"Sounds good," Blaine replied cheerfully. "It'll give me a chance to use a lens I found in my camera bag. I don't remember it so it'll be like it's new."

He was grinning and he said the words lightly, but it still made Kurt's heart hurt. Even though Blaine's amnesia had given them the opportunity to renew their friendship, Kurt hated that Blaine still had chunks of his memories gone—especially if they were good memories.

Kurt prepared breakfast and they soon made their way to the park. It was a gorgeous New York day. While Blaine and Carole stationed themselves in a spot to take pictures, Burt and Kurt decided to continue on with their walk.

"Well, Kurt, it's just you and me now…so talk to me," his father said after a few minutes of silence.

"I don't know where to start."

Burt waved to a bench and Kurt sat down, his dad sitting beside him. In the distance, they could see Carole and Blaine. Blaine was waving at something along the skyline, his movements broad and excited. Carole was nodding at whatever he said, a bemused smile on her face. But that was Blaine for you. He wanted people to see the beauty in everything, whether it was the emotion of a lyric he was singing or the life in a still picture he took.

"Are you still in love with him?" his dad asked quietly beside him and Kurt jerked, turning his head to stare at his father in horror.

"What makes you think that?"

Burt gave him a half smile before he looked at Blaine. "You know, ever since you two were kids, I knew."

"Knew what?"

"You believe in soulmates, Kurt?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Come on, Dad. Soulmates? Really? That's what you're going with?"

"I'm talking to you serious now," his father said, his arm slinging across the back of the bench.

Kurt stared at Blaine again before he finally whispered, "I used to."

He saw Burt nod out of the corner of his eye. "People fall in love all the time, but sometimes they find the one they're supposed to be with. And if _you're_ fortunate, you get to witness that love firsthand."

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard to explain what you two are like. It's the way you're always turned toward each other, even when you're across a room. The way your heads always lean in the same direction, even when you're not talking to each other. It's the way you two always seem to find a way to touch even if it's just your shoulders brushing against each other. I don't even think you're aware that you do it half the time. But I've always been aware. It should have worried me as your father. How intense you always seemed to be about each other—don't think I didn't know about that promise ring he made you while you were still in high school. But I knew you two would be okay. Because you were meant to be."

"That's a beautiful sentiment, Dad. But this isn't some fairytale. We wouldn't even be having this conversation if Blaine hadn't been hurt. Blaine would be living his life. And I'd be living mine and...and if we were meant to be like you said, he wouldn't have done what he did. He wouldn't have cheated on me."

"Kurt, look at me."

Kurt did so reluctantly. His father waited until he held his gaze for longer than a second before he asked again, "Are you in love with him?"

"I…I don't know. I've been living with Blaine for two months and it's like I have my Blaine back. The one I fell in love with all those years ago. But it's not real, Dad. Once he remembers, he won't want anything to do with me."

Burt snorted. "You can't honestly believe that."

"What do you want me to say?" Kurt finally snapped.

"I want you to tell me truth."

"Fine. I love him!" Kurt yelled, startling a couple of pigeons nearby. He was too shaken to notice. He looked at his father in shock. "I…I love him."

"Yeah. You do." His father reached up and brushed away some of the tears now running down Kurt's cheeks. "So what are you afraid of?"

"Being hurt again. Being r-rejected when he remembers everything." Kurt's voice wobbled and he hated himself for it. Hated that same damn insecurity that had plagued him his whole life. But he honestly wouldn't be able to bare it if he finally let Blaine in, only to be rejected again—to be a second choice once more.

Burt nodded and was silent for a minute, lost in thought. He finally clasped his hands over his chest and said, "After your mom died, I closed myself off. With the exception of you…I didn't let anyone in. I was afraid…afraid of getting hurt. But then I met Carole."

"Dad, I appreciate where you're going with this, but it's not the same thing. Mom died. You moved on."

"You think that was easy for me?" his father asked shortly. "I thought I had forever with your mom. I loved her. I love her still. Kurt…" Burt swallowed visibly. "Do you know how hard it was for me to move on? Do you know how many times I thought to myself…if I'd just been with her that day. If I'd been the one behind the wheel, maybe it would have been me instead of her. She'd wanted me to go with her to the store, but I had told her I was too tired from the shop…"

"Dad…the accident wasn't your fault," Kurt whispered. His dad had never opened himself up like this and Kurt felt horrified for him. How could his father blame himself for that?

Burt shrugged sadly before glancing over to where Blaine and Carole stood talking. A small smile appeared on his face. "I moved on because I had to, Kurt. For you. But God it was hard. There were days where I had to force myself to get out of bed. But I knew you needed me. So I put on a happy face and made myself keep going. And then I met Carole…" His face turned tender as he stared at his wife. "Man did she scare me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to risk it all again. Didn't want to go through the pain of getting hurt like before. But I took the risk and I haven't regretted it a single day since. Carole makes me happier then I could have ever imagined."

Burt put his hand on Kurt's shoulder giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Love is messy, Kurt. But damn if it isn't worth fighting for. Because it doesn't happen often—real love, I mean. Love like you had with Blaine. Some people go their whole lives without finding it. But some people—if they're lucky—find it once in a lifetime. And some people—if they're _real_ lucky—are given a second chance. But they gotta take the risk."

"So you're saying I should forgive and forget?" Kurt asked slowly. Blaine began scanning the area, finally spotting him. A ridiculously happy grin appeared on his face and despite the heaviness in Kurt's heart, he felt himself smile in return. Blaine said something to Carole and they both started walking their way.

"Forget?" his father replied. "Impossible. But you can forgive. Hell, I've watched you two together since I got here and it seems to me like you already have."

Kurt looked back at his father in understanding. "You think I should take the risk."

"That's not for me to say. Only you can determine that," Burt replied before he smiled. "But if you want your old man's opinion, I think if you were to give Blaine another chance, he'd give you the world in return. And that's all I want for you."

"Who wants ice cream?" Blaine asked as they finally reached them. He frowned as he noticed the tear stains on Kurt's face, but Kurt pretended like he didn't see it as he got up and took Blaine's camera bag from him, their fingers lightly grazing.

"Ice cream sounds great," Kurt replied.

Later that evening, he headed for the theatre in a taxi with his parents and Blaine by his side. He tried to swallow his nerves at the thought of Blaine sitting in the audience while he performed. But it wasn't like Blaine had never seen one of his shows before. Kurt just hadn't been aware that he was there.

"You'll be fine," Blaine said in his ear, his breath sending heat down Kurt's spine.

"I really want you to enjoy the show," Kurt confessed.

"You're in it. That's enough to tell me I already love it."

"Flatterer," Kurt joked.

"I speak the truth and nothing but the truth," Blaine replied, kissing the spot where Kurt's jaw met his neck. Kurt sucked in his breath and was about to tilt his head so Blaine could have better access when a cough next to him reminded Kurt of his father's presence. His dad had a knowing smile on his face as he stared out the cab window.

They got out of the car and Kurt headed for the backstage entrance as the others made their way to the front of the theatre. He quickly got ready, practicing his vocal exercises so that his voice would be dead on. When places was called, he swallowed back his nerves and walked onto the stage. As soon as he began his first lines, he got lost in the character, forgetting everything but his performance. And when he took his final bow, he knew he'd just done the best show of his career.

He hurried off stage and got dressed quickly. By the time he was ready to go, his family was outside the dressing room waiting for him. Blaine had a rose in his hand that Kurt recognized was from the theatre's gift stand.

"For you," Blaine said, handing Kurt the flower gallantly, like it was from the world's finest garden instead of being some tacky souvenir.

Kurt laughed. "Thank you kind sir."

Blaine grinned at him and then took Kurt by surprise when he leaned over and kissed him, ignoring the fact that Kurt's parents were standing right there. When he finally pulled away, he said, "Have I ever told you how fantastic you are?"

"Not recently, no," Kurt replied, feeling happy and sad at that little nugget of truth.

"You took my breath away tonight. You were perfect, Kurt."

"Agreed," Burt said and Kurt stepped away from Blaine to hug his parents. His father was emotional as he added, "I'm so proud of you, kid."

"Nice job tonight, Hummel," Jesse said as he passed them, nodding to the Hummels as he headed to Rachel's room, knocking on her door. Rachel opened it and squealed when she saw Burt and Carole.

Which was how an hour later, Kurt found himself sitting in the middle of an exclusive restaurant with Blaine, his parents, Rachel, and Jesse. They were in high spirits, talking over the music coming from the room next door where dancing was taking place. After dessert was served, Blaine stood up from the table causing Kurt to look at him in confusion. He held out his hand and gave a half smile that created a slight riot in Kurt's heart.

"May I have this dance?" Blaine asked softly.

"What about your leg?" Kurt squeaked.

"Trust me, I'm more than ready for this."

Kurt tentatively put his hand in Blaine's. He was led onto the dance floor just as Adele's version of _Make You Feel My Love_ began to play. Blaine placed his hands on Kurt's waist, Kurt's hands moving to Blaine's shoulders. The melody began to drift all around them. Kurt was barely aware of it, his mind too distracted by the warmth of Blaine's body.

 _When the rain is blowing in your face_  
And the whole world is on your case  
I could offer you a warm embrace  
To make you feel my love.

"Relax, Kurt," Blaine whispered, his lips lingering near Kurt's cheek.

They swayed to the music, melting into each other without thought. Kurt didn't even realize how close their bodies were pressed together until Blaine started humming softly with the lyrics, the vibrations running along the shell of his ear.

 _When the evening shadows and the stars appear_  
And there is no one there to dry your tears  
I could hold you for a million years  
To make you feel my love.

"Kurt?" Blaine murmured over the lyrics.

"Hmm?" Kurt replied, his eyes closed, unwilling to break the perfection of being held in Blaine's arms this way.

"Tonight's been a good night."

He said it so tenderly and with so much longing, Kurt put his head on Blaine's shoulder, face averted so Blaine wouldn't see the raw emotion he knew was there. Instead, he nodded in response and felt Blaine kiss his hair in return.

 _I know you haven't made your mind up yet_  
But I would never do you wrong.  
I've known it from the moment that we met  
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

Blaine began humming along to the song again and Kurt let himself surrender to the spell that Blaine was creating. His eyes drifted close on their own accord, his mind not giving a second thought to the fact that they were barely moving as they held each other tight.

_I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling down the avenue._

Blaine stopped humming and began to sing the words.

_No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love._

Kurt tensed even as Blaine's fingers tightened on his waist. There was something in the way Blaine's voice changed when he sung those lyrics—something Kurt couldn't put his finger on.

_The storms are raging on the rolling sea  
And on the highway of regret…_

Kurt pulled back and Blaine stopped singing as the song continued. He gave Kurt a sad little smile as he reached up and brushed his fingers along Kurt's cheekbones.

_I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.  
_

They stopped all pretenses of dancing as they stood in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by other couples. Blaine moved his thumb so that it could trace along Kurt's jaw line, his eyes following the movements as he whispered the last part of the song.

 _Nothing that I wouldn't do._  
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,  
To make you feel my love

His eyes met Kurt's again as he stated the final lyric like a promise.

_To make you feel my love._

"I think I've had enough dancing tonight," Kurt said shakily, taking a step back and Blaine's arms dropped to his side.

"Kurt…wait."

Kurt swallowed nervously as he let Blaine wrap his arms around him again. To the outside observer, it looked like they were dancing. Instead, they were staring at each other warily.

"We really need to talk," Blaine finally said.

"Does it have to be now?" Kurt asked cautiously.

"Yeah, I think it definitely needs to be now."

Remembering his dad's words from earlier, Kurt gathered what little courage he had and said, "All right…talk."

Blaine frowned for a second as he stared at Kurt's shoulder before he took a deep breath. "I don't know what I did to make you so wary of me. I don't know what happened to us. I know it was bad. It had to be for us to date other people. And if it was so bad that we took a break, I'm glad I forgot. All I know for sure is that I don't want to be with anyone else. And I sure as fuck don't want to lose you to someone else. I want _us_ again. I want you to be with me. I always want you to be with me."

Kurt felt stupid tears sting his eyes as he shook his head. Blaine's body tensed beneath his hands. "Blaine, how can you say that when you don't even remember how we got to that point in the first place?"

"I don't care what those reasons were," Blaine said stubbornly. "I know what's in my heart, Kurt. What I feel. That'll never change."

Kurt pressed his lips together. _What if you hurt me again, Blaine. I couldn't deal with that._

"Here's what I'm proposing," Blaine finally said. "I want to take you out on a date. Not a 'let's hang out as friends' kind of thing but an actual date. Will you agree to that? If I can't fix whatever happened to us in the past, can you give me a second chance? We can start fresh."

_Take the risk._

"Okay," Kurt said and Blaine smiled so brightly it could have lit up New York all by itself.

"Jesse told me that a friend of his is opening an art gallery in a couple weeks," Blaine told him. "He's taking Rachel there after your show. You want to go?"

"Another evening with Jesse?" Kurt replied dryly, raising an eyebrow.

"It's a nice public environment. So you know I won't take advantage of you," Blaine said, wiggling his eyebrows at him.

"Pity," Kurt said flirtatiously.

Blaine's brow shot up. "You can't say things like that, Kurt. Not when we're in the middle of a dance floor."

"You started it," he said with a smirk.

"You're right, I did," Blaine answered before clasping the back of Kurt's neck and kissing him softly on the lips. "To new beginnings," he whispered.

Kurt nodded and tried to push away the trepidation he felt as they went back to their table. Burt and Carole were practically dozing in their chairs so they said their goodbyes and went back to the apartment. Blaine and Kurt went to bed that night, wrapped in each other's arms, but they didn't do anything else. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement between them that they'd treat their relationship like any couple who were dating each other for the first time. The next morning, Carole and Burt left with hugs and promises of another visit soon. His father seemed pretty proud of himself as Kurt and Blaine waved them off, their arms wrapped around each other's waists.

When they got back to the apartment, Blaine suggested that Kurt move his stuff back into the spare room. When Kurt looked hurt, Blaine quickly explained that he wanted to do things properly. He wanted to court him. Kurt laughed at that old fashioned terminology but he was secretly thrilled at the idea…for a little while anyway. Throughout the couple of weeks leading up to their official date, they had meals together, watched TV together, and went to bed separately.

And slowly but surely Kurt started to go out of his freaking mind.

Blaine always found excuses to touch him. If they were watching a movie, he'd put his head on Kurt's shoulder. If they went grocery shopping, he made sure that their shoulders touched as they walked down the aisle. If they were eating at the kitchen table, his leg would rest against Kurt's. And at night Blaine would walk Kurt to his bedroom door, give him a lingering kiss, then send him on his way.

Kurt understood what he was doing. Blaine was trying to be a gentleman. But Kurt couldn't get that morning when he'd woken up with Blaine in his arms out of his head. He wanted to experience it again. Despite everything that had happened between them, he'd really missed Blaine over the years. He missed their friendship. He missed the tenderness they shared. He missed the physical satisfaction only Blaine could give him.

So when Blaine left him at his door every night, he couldn't help but be a little perturbed. Granted, he knew Blaine wanted to take it slow, but would it have killed the guy to make a pass at him? Show that he desired Kurt like Kurt desired him?

Finally, the day of their date arrived. Blaine agreed to pick Kurt up from the theatre after the last show so that they could go to the gallery together. Blaine knocked on the dressing room door just as Kurt was finishing tying his tie. He could only stare as Blaine entered the room, looking so attractive Kurt felt his mouth go dry.

"Do I look okay?" Blaine asked, glancing down to examine his suit for any flaws.

Kurt finally got his vocal chords functioning. "Yeah. You look good."

"You look pretty good yourself," Blaine said as he closed the door behind him and leaned against it.

What happened next was really inevitable. Even before they started dating when they were teens, there had always been sexual tension between them. Once the spark was lit, it was really hard to damper. Kurt should have known that from the moment Blaine opened his eyes in the hospital, they'd end up like this.

They stared at each other, desire heating in their eyes, and then they were moving toward one another like a magnet to metal. They came together, hands roaming everywhere. Blaine clutched at his back, tilting his head up as Kurt started sucking on his neck hard enough to leave a bruise.

"God…" Blaine muttered. "You've been driving me—driving me crazy for weeks."

"Me?" Kurt asked as he undid Blaine's tie and began to unbutton his shirt.

"Yeah you. Kurt, you don't know how much it killed me walking you to your room every night when all I wanted to do was this." He thrust himself against Kurt who could feel his hardness pressing against him. His hands went to Kurt's tie, quickly undoing it.

The motion got Kurt's cursed brain working again. "Wait…we can't do this right now. The party…"

"Fuck the party," Blaine replied as he worked on removing Kurt's shirt. They shed their pants and boxers—a bit of a challenge for Blaine who was still in his walking cast—until they were standing in just their skin.

"Kurt…I don't know if my leg will hold me if we…"

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and pushed him into the loveseat in his room. He went over to his bag and pulled out some lube and a condom.

"You always travel with that stuff?" Blaine joked though there was a seriousness in the question.

"Actually," Kurt said as he handed the supplies to Blaine before straddling his lap. "I was hoping our date tonight would go very well."

Blaine groaned as he pulled Kurt closer to him so that he could lick and suck on his nipple, his hands going to Kurt's ass. Kurt reached between them and grasped himself in his hand, slowly pumping up and down. Blaine pulled away to stare down at the movement, his face fascinated.

"I always loved seeing you like this," he said, moving his hand to help him. When Kurt could feel his stomach starting to tighten, Blaine stopped, pulling Kurt's hand away much to his protest.

"Wait, baby," Blaine said, his voice thick with promise. He reached for the lube and slicked his fingers before his hand traveled to Kurt's ass once more. His fingers slid between his cheeks, finding the spot that made Kurt gasp. He slid a finger inside slowly, moving it up and down until Kurt relaxed. Another finger joined its brother, going back and forth until Kurt got close again. He was almost to that pivotal point of no return when Blaine withdrew his hand.

"Fucking tease," Kurt muttered and Blaine chuckled lazily. He maneuvered Kurt's legs so they were a little more spread. He reached for the condom and slowly rolled it on, Kurt's hot eyes watching every move. More lube was added and then finally—finally—Blaine was home.

They moved together like they'd never been apart. Blaine knew Kurt's body better than anyone. He knew exactly where to touch him and how to get the best reaction. It didn't take long for Kurt to peak, feeling the heady rush of release as he erupted all over his and Blaine's stomach. Blaine grasped his hips in a crushing grip and his movement became more frantic until finally he shouted out Kurt's name and came inside him.

They didn't move as they tried to catch their breath. "Damn," Kurt finally said. "Why'd you have to look so good tonight?"

"All part of my plan," Blaine said with a breathless laugh. He pulled away as he looked at Kurt, his face turning serious. "I love you, Kurt."

"I…" Kurt wanted to say the words—he knew he felt them—but they wouldn't form. "I think we should clean up or we'll miss the party completely."

Blaine's face flashed his disappointment but he nodded. They separated and took a quick shower, dressing back in their formal attire. They made their way to the gallery, holding hands and grinning like idiots.

"Oh…someone got lucky tonight," Rachel said as soon as she spotted them.

"Oh my God, do you not have a filter?" Kurt asked.

"Not since I started hanging out with you," she said sweetly before she kissed each of them on the cheek. "I'm happy for you two. It's about time."

And with a wave she was off, going back over to Jesse's side. Blaine kept his hand on the crook of Kurt's arm as they looked at the different exhibits. He had decided to forgo the cane for the night. Kurt secretly thought he only wanted to go without it so he could have an excuse to hang onto Kurt—not that Kurt was objecting.

They finally grabbed two glasses of wine and made their way to the outside balcony. Kurt looked up at the night sky, seeing the Brooklyn Bridge in the distance.

"I've had an amazing time tonight. Thank you for the date," he said, his cheeks warming as he thought of earlier.

When Blaine didn't answer, he glanced at him and instantly tensed. Blaine was staring at something behind Kurt that was still inside the gallery. He looked like a deer about to get hit by a freight train. His skin was white. So white he practically glowed under the light of the moon.

"Blaine, honey, are you okay?"

His voice snapped Blaine out of whatever stupor he was in. He looked at Kurt and…was that fear on his face? What could possibly shake him this bad? He turned to look at whatever Blaine was seeing, but Blaine suddenly had his arm in a death grip.

"I…I don't feel—my leg. It's starting to really hurt. Can we go?"

"Are you sure that's all that's wrong?"

"Please Kurt…let's just go."

Before Kurt could say anything else, he heard the balcony door open and someone step outside.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Rainbow Brite and his masochistic lapdog. I thought you two were divorced."

Kurt went rigid as soon as the intruder spoke. But he didn't turn around. He was too busy watching Blaine. The total lack of surprise on Blaine's face at the announcement of their divorce told Kurt everything he needed to know.

Blaine knew.

Blaine fucking _always_ knew.

It was what Kurt suspected but refused to believe. All this time Blaine had known the truth. He knew they weren't together anymore. And given the guilty expression on his face, he knew why.

But even with that knowledge sending Kurt into a blinding rage, his voice was remarkably calm as he acknowledged the man behind him.

"Hello Sebastian."


	10. Chapter 10

_Hello Sebastian._

"Kurt, long time no see," Sebastian said drolly as he made his way over to stand between Kurt and Blaine. "Blaine, I heard about your accident. I was worried about you, buddy."

"Fuck off, Sebastian," Blaine said as he took a hurried step toward Kurt. He went to take Kurt's hand, but Kurt quickly jerked away from him. He watched through an empty haze as a myriad of emotions crossed Blaine's face. What was that look? Pain, panic…disappointment that the game was up?

"What was this?" Kurt finally gritted out. "Revenge? Did you get off on me hovering over you, worrying about you?"

"Kurt, no—"

"Then why?"

Blaine glanced at Sebastian with a scowl. "Kurt, let's go somewhere and talk in private."

"Tell me you don't remember we're divorced," Kurt demanded. "Tell me you don't remember the reason why. Lie to my face, Blaine."

"Kurt, let's just talk—"

"Talk, talk, talk, that's all you ever want to do. But you never say what you really should. Like the truth. So try it now. When did you know we weren't together anymore?"

"Since after your second hospital visit," Blaine whispered shakily.

"You son of a bitch," Kurt said lowly. He started to turn away, but Blaine grabbed his arm stopping him.

"Kurt, please. You've got to let me explain—"

"Explaining is what you should have done two months ago!" he yelled before looking over at Sebastian who was watching them with a strangely blank expression. "You know what? You two deserve each other. You're both heartless pricks." He shook Blaine's arm off. "Don't come near me again."

"Kurt—"

With a strange sense of déjà vu, Kurt's hand bunched into a fist which connected to Blaine's face before he could stop himself. Blaine's head ricocheted back and Kurt's finger screamed in protest when he tried to uncurl it. He frowned down at it in surprise. Did he break his hand?

The fact that Kurt was even worrying about this made him wonder if he was in shock. Which meant he needed to get the hell out of there. He saw Sebastian put his arm around Blaine, steadying him after he'd lost his balance from Kurt's punch. That sight was enough to get Kurt moving. He opened the door and stormed inside the gallery, ignoring Rachel who was calling after him worriedly. He continued to push his way through the crowd until he was outside. His cell phone went off as he headed down the block. He ignored that too.

Why would Blaine do this to him? Did he hate him so much? Kurt couldn't reconcile that his Blaine had been replaced with such a deceitful, devious monster. What the hell happened to him—to them?

That was the question that bounced around inside his brain for the next ten minutes as he continued to hit the pavement. The more he thought about it, the more irate he became.

Why? Why would Blaine do this? Goddammit, he deserved answers!

"Yeah, I do," Kurt muttered out loud, earning strange looks from a couple passing him. But this was New York. People talked to themselves in the street all the time.

He headed back to the gallery and went inside, scanning the crowd for Blaine's familiar head. Maybe he and Sebastian had already taken off somewhere. And didn't that thought just piss Kurt off to the point where he felt queasy. Of course, his nausea was probably being helped by his throbbing finger which he could see was already swollen and turning blue.

He went back to the balcony and saw Sebastian standing alone, his hands shoved in his pants pockets as he stared at the night skyline. He looked—completely dejected. Like he just lost something incredibly important and couldn't figure out what it was. Well, good. That made two of them.

"Where's Blaine?" Kurt asked and he watched Sebastian's mask immediately snap back into place.

"What do I look like? His secretary?"

Kurt shook his head in disgust. He was wasting his time here. He turned to leave when Sebastian spoke, barely audible.

"You don't deserve him. You never did."

Oh hell no. Kurt turned to face his nemesis, a sneer on his face. "And you think you do?"

"At least I love him."

"Is that what you call it?" Kurt laughed humorlessly. "Blaine's a toy to you—something someone else has that you want for yourself. That's how you've treated him since high school."

"And you're a fucking expert on love, Hummel?" Sebastian asked derisively. "You saw Blaine exchange one measly kiss and you threw away your entire marriage. Yet he still comes back to you like a little bitch as soon as he can and what do you do? You piss on him all over again."

Kurt froze, only hearing part of Sebastian's angry tirade. "But according to you," he said roughly, "it was more than one 'measly kiss.' You told me all the time that you two were having sex when Blaine wasn't with me. You even told me times and locations."

"Yeah…we were," Sebastian replied…a little too slowly to be convincing.

Kurt felt himself sway on his feet. _Oh no._ _No. No. No._

"You were pretty explicit in your details," he reminded Sebastian. "You would tell me how you two used to do it in our room when I wasn't there. How you loved discovering how sensitive Blaine's skin was."

"That's right," Sebastian said as he eyed the door. "Now as exciting as this trip down memory lane has been—"

"The birthmark on his inner thigh is a particularly sweet spot, don't you think?"

"Yeah, sure…whatever," Sebastian said as he took a step toward the exit.

Kurt blocked him. "Did you know that if you bite it just right, it'll make Blaine come?"

"You want to exchange Blaine's sex kinks? Fine, you don't have to tell me about that spot. I spent hours licking it—biting it."

"The birthmark on his thigh," Kurt repeated.

"Yes, the goddamn birthmark on his goddamn thigh. Now can I go?"

Kurt stared at him incredulously before whispering, "You fucking bastard. You never slept with him."

"Didn't we just exchange sexual pointers on your ex?" Sebastian said snidely.

"The birthmark—the one that drives Blaine crazy if you touch it—it's on his back. He doesn't have any marks on his thighs." Sebastian stared at him blankly. Kurt shook his head. "Why would you do that to us? Why would you work so hard to destroy our marriage? Blaine was your friend."

Sebastian continued to remain quiet and it dawned on Kurt. "Oh…I get it. Blaine's the only guy who ever said no to you, right? He never wanted you and you can't stand that."

"I'm done with this conversation," Sebastian growled, shoving Kurt out of the way as he disappeared inside the gallery. Kurt didn't follow. He was too stunned as his mind rehashed the past. How many times had Blaine declared his innocence? How many times had he told Kurt with an increasing loss of patience that he and Sebastian were just friends? But Kurt's paranoia refused to believe that he was all Blaine wanted. And they had lost so many years since because of it. If it hadn't been for the accident, Kurt would never have even known the truth. They would have gone through their entire lives drifting—aimless without each other. But thoughts of the accident reminded Kurt of Blaine's real deception. Kurt needed to know why he faked his amnesia.

He had to find Blaine.

Pushing aside the hope that was bubbling inside him, he went back into the gallery and tracked down Rachel. "Have you seen Blaine?"

"He left right after you did," Rachel said before she put her hands on her hips. "Kurt, what is going on?"

"I don't have time to explain it, but I'll call you later." He bent down and kissed her cheek.

Rachel held onto him briefly. "You find him and you love him right, Kurt. He looked devastated when he left."

Kurt pulled back and looked at his friend closely. "You always knew the truth, didn't you? You knew he never slept with Sebastian."

Realization dawned on Rachel. "Oh…so that's what this is about."

"Rachel…"

"No, I never thought he slept with Sebastian."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did. Multiple times. You were just too hurt to listen."

Kurt cringed at that truth before he said, "He faked his amnesia."

"I'm sure he didn't—"

"He admitted it, Rachel," Kurt told her as he stared at a painting over her shoulder. "Why would he put us through all of this? Why wouldn't he just tell me the truth?"

Rachel put a sympathetic hand on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Probably for the same reason you wouldn't listen to him all those years ago. The fear of getting hurt."

Kurt blinked back the wet emotion in his eyes. "I don't deserve him," he finally muttered.

"Yes, you do. You always did." She gave him another kiss before giving him a little shove. "Now go get your man."

He gave her a wobbly smile before he ran outside. He pulled out his cell and tried dialing Blaine's number, but there was no answer. He hailed a cab and headed back to the apartment. Too impatient for the elevator, Kurt took the stairs, out of breath by the time he reached their floor. Hurrying into the apartment, he called out Blaine's name, but there was no answer. A quick scan of his surroundings revealed that Blaine hadn't been back recently.

"Shit," Kurt muttered, his pinky throbbing. Running into the bathroom, he found some medical tape and secured his fingers. If he broke one bone in his body, Jesse was going to kill him. But he had more pressing things to worry about.

"Where are you, Blaine," Kurt said, closing his eyes as he tried to sense out where Blaine might be like they did in the movies. When that didn't work, he headed up to the roof.

"Blaine?" he called out as he went over to their lounge chair. He wasn't there. Kurt ran back down to the apartment and checked the answering machine. No word from Blaine. He tried his cell phone. No response. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was after 1 AM. Where the hell could he be?

Leaving the apartment, he headed over to Cooper's. Using his powers of persuasion, he talked the night manager into letting him into Coop's place in exchange for tickets to his show. But Blaine wasn't there. He left and checked a few other places without any luck.

The entire time he was searching, his mind kept flashing back to his life with Blaine. The good and the ugly. And the more he thought about it, the more resolved he became to find Blaine. But after another hour without any luck, Kurt was beginning to feel defeated. He was in a cab headed back to their place when they started to pass Central Park.

"Stop the car," he ordered. "You can drop me off here."

"You sure?" the cabbie asked in concern.

"Trust me. A mugger's not going to want to mess with me right now."

Kurt gave the driver money and headed into the park. He made his way to their favorite spot and felt his breath catch as he saw a lone figure sitting on their bench under a park light. Blaine was hunched over, his hands clasped together between his knees. He seemed completely broken and Kurt's heart ached just looking at him.

"Central Park at this time of night? Not one of your best ideas," Kurt said as he made his way over to him, startling Blaine in the process.

"Wh-What are you doing here?"

"Same as you. Risking my life apparently." Kurt paused as he stopped next to the bench. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure," Blaine replied, gesturing to the spot next to him and Kurt sat down.

He eyed Blaine's jaw, which he could see under the light had a large bruise on it. "I'm sorry I punched you."

"I deserved it," Blaine said as he rubbed the spot with a wince.

"That's to be determined," Kurt replied. "But if it makes you feel any better, I got punished for my actions."

He held up his wrapped hand and Blaine flinched as he took it in his grasp. He bent down and pressed his lips to the damaged area.

"Why would that make me feel better?" Blaine murmured against his skin. "I never want you to be in pain, Kurt."

Kurt tried to gather his thoughts, which was hard to do whenever Blaine's lips were anywhere near his vicinity.

"Enough of that," he said as he pulled his hand away. "Start explaining."

Blaine stared at him in confusion. "I don't get it. Why are you even talking to me right now?"

Kurt sighed tiredly as he gazed out at the New York skyline twinkling across the night. "Something occurred to me while I was in the middle of my meltdown tonight."

"What?"

"That despite everything—despite the way our marriage ended and the shit you pulled the past couple of months—there is one irrefutable fact I can't ignore."

"What's that?" Blaine whispered.

"That despite what a selfish shit you can be…you're still my best friend. You have been since the moment you took my hand at Dalton. No one has ever gotten me the way you do. So here I am. Remembering that we're friends." When Blaine stared at him blankly he said, "That's your cue, Blaine. Explain what's happened to us. Because for the life of me I can't figure it out."

"I don't know where to begin," Blaine said, nervously rubbing his hands on his pants.

"Let's start with the fact that I accused you of sleeping with Sebastian when you never did."

Blaine couldn't have looked more shocked than if Kurt stripped off his clothes in front of him and started to do the polka.

"I…I tried to tell you before," Blaine told him. "You wouldn't give me a-a chance."

"I know…and I'll always hate myself for that." Kurt continued to look at the buildings across the way. "I went back to the gallery tonight. I wanted answers. I…I searched all over for you. I found Sebastian instead." Blaine winced beside him. "It wasn't pretty. But I quickly figured out that you never slept with him. I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you tried to tell me."

"Kurt, you don't have anything to be sorry for," Blaine murmured. "I did cheat on you." Kurt stiffened and Blaine grabbed his arm as if afraid Kurt was going to bolt. "I didn't sleep with him. I never slept with anyone when we were together, but…"

"But what?" Kurt asked stiltedly.

"Things were so bad between us, Kurt. We were always fighting. The only way we communicated was in bed. And then that last night…the night you saw me and Sebastian k-kissing. The day started off with you threatening to leave me, remember? I was so scared and terrified and so completely exhausted. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I could handle a lot. Getting the shit kicked out of me for being gay. My father's indifference. But you, I couldn't lose. You've always meant everything to me, Kurt. So I went out and got hammered that night. Sebastian showed up and got me home safely. And then we decided one more drink wouldn't kill us. He was a good friend to me for so long. It was nice to just have someone listen to me. To have a conversation without it ending in an argument. Then he kissed me and…I didn't stop him. I thought, if Kurt doesn't want me…someone else does."

Kurt pushed back the misery he felt for both of them. They were quite the pair. Both struggling with their own insecurities. Both always feeling like they were second best in some way.

"I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't walked in on us that night," Blaine confessed, not looking at Kurt. "I want to think I would have stopped. It felt wrong the entire time. But…"

"You wouldn't have done it," Kurt said firmly when Blaine paused.

"How can you be so confident?" Blaine asked. "Emotional cheating is still cheating and I was…I was right there with him when he first started kissing me."

Kurt felt some of the tension leave his shoulders as he stared at Blaine closely. He finally smiled. "No…you wouldn't have gone through with it. The guy who defended me from my bully in high school—the guy who stood up in front of a school full of homophobes to ask me to dance—the guy who came to see my shows in secret the past three years—that's a guy too considerate and brave to do something as weak as cheating. So let's talk about the real issue here. You said you remembered we were divorced when you were in the hospital."

"No, you asked me when I knew we weren't together anymore and I said since the hospital," Blaine was staring down at his hands now, his forehead furrowing. "You had come to visit me and I'd told you I loved you. You didn't respond. You stood with your back to me, your hand on the door handle and I suddenly got hit with such a crippling feeling of depression. A memory came back to me clear as day. I could hear you saying, 'That's the problem with perfection. On the surface everything looks great, but underneath it all it's nothing but an empty illusion.' Given the level of anxiety I felt seeing you leave, I knew that things weren't as I remembered. As soon as Coop came back in my room, I asked for the truth. He only told me what year it was. I asked him if we were together and he told me not to force the memories. He kept avoiding my questions which pretty much confirmed what I'd guessed. So I…"

"What?" Kurt asked when Blaine faltered.

Blaine looked sick with remorse. "I asked him to help me. I didn't want to lose you. I thought if I could just get you back in my life, I could win you again while I tried to figure out what the hell happened between us. So he said he'd talk to you."

"Your plan worked," Kurt said, still feeling mildly miffed at the guilt trip Cooper had given him.

"Yeah," Blaine agreed, smiling at him sheepishly. "So there we were, living together again, but no matter how much I tried, you kept pushing me away. God it was frustrating. All I wanted was my Kurt back and you were so cool with me. I decided not to push it. I was going to woo you subtlety while I worked on getting my memory back completely. I kept asking you if we were together anymore, hoping you'd give me some clue where we went wrong. But you never said anything. A part of me hoped that was because you didn't want us to be apart again either.

And then you told me that we'd dated other people and I got hit with a memory that I wish I could still forget. I remembered the day we divorced. I went to a bar that night, got drunk, and went home with some random guy." Kurt blanched but Blaine didn't see it. "Afterwards…I threw up. I didn't want anybody but you. Hell of a memory to get back, huh? But it was like a gate had been opened. I spent the week at Coop's just remembering everything…everything but the reason why we got divorced. That was the one final piece missing from the puzzle. Until I saw Sebastian tonight. Then everything clicked into place."

Blaine turned desperate eyes on him. "I should have been upfront about the amnesia. I knew that it was stupid—that I'd lose you once you knew the truth—but…I wouldn't trade these last two months for anything. I j-just wanted to be close to you again, Kurt. I wanted to be able to show you how much you mean to me."

Blaine's voice cracked and Kurt had to look away, feeling too vulnerable. He heard Blaine sigh beside him.

"Okay, I understand," Blaine said despondently. "But I want you to know, no matter how many times I've fucked up with you…I love you, Kurt. I've always loved you. I always _will_ love you."

He stood up as if to go. Kurt jumped up to, feeling slightly panicky at the idea of Blaine leaving him. "That's it?"

"I don't know what else to say."

"Fine…then it's my turn to talk," Kurt said. Blaine looked at him expectantly and Kurt's mouth opened and closed before he finally said the only thing that mattered. "I love you."

Blaine went completely still, the light above revealing his shock. "What?" he whispered.

"I love you and I'm sorry I didn't believe you before when you said you hadn't slept with Sebastian. I should have trusted you—trusted us—and I—"

Blaine grabbed his arms, cutting off his rambling. "Say it again. Tell me you love me."

Kurt took a shaky breath and repeated, "I love you."

Blaine closed the space between them and brought Kurt into a hug, burying his face into his neck. He shuddered and Kurt wrapped his arms around him tighter.

"Again," Blaine muttered against his skin.

Kurt laughed, not even trying to stem the relieved tears now falling down his cheeks. "I love you."

Blaine pulled back and kissed Kurt on the lips. It was soft and comforting. Like coming home. Speaking of…

"Let's go home, Blaine," Kurt said, cupping the side of his cheek even as Blaine went still.

"Home? As in ours? Yours and mine?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah…home," Kurt told him. Blaine kissed him again, a smile on his face the entire time.

And even though the night air was cold and they were both emotionally drained, Kurt couldn't find any problems with the perfection of that kiss.

* * *

_Seven Years Later_

"That's a wrap," the director called and a cheer went through the cast and crew. It had been a grueling movie to make, both physically and mentally exhausting.

Kurt hurried to his trailer, wanting to make his flight so that he could get home. There was a knock on the door and Cooper let himself in. Who knew when Blaine encouraged him to pursue movies soon after they were remarried seven years ago that he would one day be working with his brother-in-law on a film.

"You headed out right away?" Cooper asked.

"Yeah, it's my dad's birthday tomorrow. Everyone's coming to New York. Finn, Marcy, and their kids, my parents, even Rachel, Jesse, and their daughter."

Cooper came over and gave him a hug. "Give the family my love."

"I will," Kurt said, flashing him a smile before heading outside where the studio car was waiting to take him to LAX airport. The flight from California to New York was long, given Kurt's eagerness to get home. A month a way was too dammed long. When he got back, he was going to return to Broadway. Some new director named Brody Weston had approached Kurt's agent about him doing a musical with Rachel. If it meant he could be home long term, he was all for it.

When he touched down in New York, he got a cab back to the apartment. Kurt opened the door and heard Blaine's laughter coming from the living room. Smiling to himself, he walked into the room to see his husband crawling on the floor, their daughter on his back as he gave her a horsey ride.

Kurt felt the tiredness of his long travel evaporate as he stared at his family. Ellie was squealing with laughter, her dark curly hair bouncing around her shoulders. Next to her, their nine-month-old son crawled after them, eager to keep up with his big sister. When Kurt and Blaine had decided to have kids, they had both given samples, using a surrogate they'd handpicked. But from the day Ellie was born, it was obvious she was Blaine's. She was the spitting image of him. So when they decided to have another kid, it was agreed that Kurt would be the donor. His eyes skimmed over the kids now, noticing the tiny changes in them both. Though Blaine had arranged it so that they could Skype every night, it wasn't the same as seeing his family in the flesh.

"Well, I see I was missed," Kurt announced as he put his suitcase down.

"Papa!" Ellie yelled as she climbed off Blaine's back and ran toward Kurt as fast as her five-year-old legs could carry her.

Kurt picked her up and swung her in a circle. "How's my baby girl? Were you good for Daddy?"

"Yep and he got us Superman ice cream for lunch," Ellie told him.

"Did he now?" Kurt said, raising an eyebrow at his husband.

"Tattle-tale," Blaine replied, though he had a wide happy smile on his face.

Kurt felt something hit his foot and he looked down to see Devon trying to pull himself up. Giving Ellie another kiss on the cheek, he set her down so that he could cuddle their son. Devon cooed at him in way of greeting. Kurt responded by blowing a raspberry on his neck, causing Devon to shriek.

"Papa, did you bring us a present?" Ellie asked excitedly.

Kurt chuckled. "Of course." He set Devon on the floor as he opened his suitcase and pulled out two bears with LA shirts on them. Ellie immediately sat down on the floor and began to play with hers. Devon stared at his for a moment and then yawned before lying down, pushing his face against the toy.

"And did you bring me a present?" Blaine asked as he wrapped his arms around Kurt from behind, kissing his neck.

Kurt's eyes were sparkling as he turned to look at his husband. "Oh…I'll give you your present later tonight. Don't you worry about that."

"Is that a promise?" Blaine asked, his grin widening. "Kiss me and make me believe it."

Kurt smiled back, happy to oblige as he leaned forward. Ellie rolled her eyes even as she crawled over to where her little brother was snuggling next to his bear sleepily.

"Grandpa says Daddy and Papa get sappy cause they're soulmates," she told him importantly. "But don't worry, you'll get use to it."

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [My Fandom Life](http://myfandomlife.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr!


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